The Truth About Cars » Chrysler Suicide Watch

Chrysler Suicide Watch 50: RIP

Paul Niedermeyer — Fri, 01 May 2009 02:31:54 +0000

Chrysler's logo should have been a bottle of Lithium, rather than the Pentastar. It suffered from severe Bipolar syndrome all its life, and sadly, died from it, at its own hands. Like many suicidal Bipolars (Van Gogh, Hemingway, Virgina Woolf), Chrysler's many crashes and acts of self-mutilation were punctuated by fantastic highs of brilliant engineering, design and creativity. Chrysler has taken us on quite the roller coaster ride. And now it's over. as we stumble out of our (hemi powered) coaster car, we're left with an intense mixture of relief, thrill, and sadness.

Chrysler Zombie Watch 1: Fiatsco!

Robert Farago — Thu, 30 Apr 2009 20:29:26 +0000

Well, the fat lady done sung. Only it was a thin president who ended TTAC's Chrysler Suicide Watch. Lucky for us (if no one else), the Prez also promised to keep the dead automaker alive, through a fresh injection of federal funds. Obama didn't specify the price tag for this zombification, but the bidding starts with the familiar "b" word, and octo-mom would recognize the number. As you know, Obama justified his ongoing intervention in Chrysler's journey to liquidation by pimping the un-dead (now dead) American automaker to Italy's own automotive English patient. So it's time to get on with the business of tearing the Fiat "merger" idea to shreds. In this unenviable (but gainful) task, I'm aided by Jennifer Clark of the Dow Jones News Service. Jenny's Chrysler-on-the-block piece arrives under the odd title "Chrysler Chapter 11 Filing May Aid Fiat Turnaround." Go figure.

Chrysler Suicide Watch 49: Official Statement

Robert Farago — Thu, 30 Apr 2009 17:15:36 +0000

Auburn Hills, Mich., Apr 30, 2009 - Chrysler LLC today announced that, as a result of the comprehensive restructuring plan agreed to by many of its stakeholders, it has reached an agreement in principle to establish a global strategic alliance with Fiat SpA to form a vibrant new company. It will allow Chrysler and Fiat to fully optimize their respective manufacturing footprints and the global supplier base, while providing each with access to additional markets. Fiat powertrains and components will also be produced at Chrysler manufacturing sites.

Editorial: Chrysler Suicide Watch 48: Die Another Day

Robert Farago — Wed, 29 Apr 2009 23:45:49 +0000

Barack Obama is set to addresses the nation tomorrow, announcing Chrysler's death and rebirth. The president will frame the government's intervention in familiar terms: hope and change. Only in the reverse order: change and hope. Obama will say that the federal government is helping Chrysler transform into a viable American automaker. This we (yes we) are doing because President Obama has hope for the future of the American automaker and, not-so-incidentally, American automaking. Chrysler, the United Auto Workers (UAW) and Fiat will now build the kind of economical, environmentally friendly vehicles America needs. Unfortunately, Obama's "plan" is the exact opposite of what it pretends to be.

Editorial: Chrysler Suicide Watch 47: Chrysler Financial Flames Out

Robert Farago — Tue, 28 Apr 2009 14:45:48 +0000

GMAC is a bank. It used to be a lender, to both the car and mortgage industries. And not a particularly good one. Or maybe too good. Or just right, if you were a sub-prime borrower looking for quick cash. GM owned all of GMAC, which was a cash cow. Right until it wasn't. Just before the now-infamous sub-prime meltdown, GM was trying to cover-up its cash burn. So CEO Rick Wagoner sold a controlling share in GMAC to Cerberus, the same people who bought Chrysler. Flash forward to the waning hours of 2008. GMAC was about to fall into bankruptcy, dragging down Cerberus, Chrysler, GM and that funny-looking guy who used to be your landlord. So Uncle Sam stepped in---and how. The Fed relaxed its banking rules so that GMAC could become a bank, and, thus, hoover-up $6b worth of bailout bucks. After that, there's some stuff about ending leasing, not lending money to car buyers, driving Chrysler and GM dealerships into C11, lending money to car buyers, etc. Up to speed? OK. So here's the New Deal. . .

Editorial: Chrysler Suicide Watch 46: Private Capital vs. Uncle Sam

Robert Farago — Wed, 22 Apr 2009 11:14:37 +0000

Chrysler bondholders have officially rejected the Presidential Task Force of Automobiles' (PTFOA) "offer" to exchange 85 percent of their secured debt ($6.9b) for a stake in a reconstituted ChyrCo. The Wall Street Journal reports the bondholders' counteroffer: the lenders would cut Chrysler's first-lien debt by $2.4b, in exchange for a 40 percent equity stake and a Chrysler board seat. Oh, and they want Fiat to put up a billion dollars. Which Fiat won't do because. . . it doesn't have it. The bondholders' position sounds about right. Remember: this is secured debt. If/when Chrysler is sold off in pieces, the bondholders would recoup about 65 cents on a dollar. Settling for anything less would be against their financial interest. But not their political interest. Not only has the U.S. Treasury rejected the bondholder's proposal, they've cast aspersions on the banks' patriotism. No really.

Editorial: Chrysler Suicide Watch 45: By Executive Fiat

Robert Farago — Fri, 17 Apr 2009 22:52:37 +0000

C'mon. This whole Fiat and Chrysler hook-up is a joke, right? I mean, what could possibly motivate an Italian car company that got its ass kicked seven ways to Sunday in the US market for peddling sorry-ass rust buckets and [almost] providing some of the worst dealer service in the history of four-wheeled transportation to re-enter the fray under the Chrysler banner? That's like Kodak teaming-up with Polaroid to make high end digital cameras for the Japanese. Like Cambridge's instant photo folk, ChryCo's business model is so busted all they've got left is an iconic brand name (Jeep). And there are still plenty of Americans who know that Fiat stands for "Fix It Again Tony." So what's it all about Alfetta?

Editorial: Chrysler Suicide Watch 44: Will the Last One Out of the Building…

Robert Farago — Sat, 04 Apr 2009 15:16:12 +0000

A TTAC reader writes: "Did you read the Wards Auto World article about how full Chrysler's product pipeline is? So inaccurate. I had to throw away the magazine because of it. As a former product planner for Chrysler up until April of last year (on the Jeep WK), I can tell you the state of the business that I knew.

Chrysler Suicide Watch 43: Reality Check on the Fiat Deal

Justin Berkowitz — Mon, 26 Jan 2009 17:29:28 +0000

According to Automotive News, Chrysler plans to sell up to seven Fiat/Alfa Romeo-designed models in America. Under this scheme, Chrysler dealers would flog the Fiat 500, Alfa MiTo, and Alfa 147 replacement. There'll also be up to four Fiat-based cars in the A, B, C, and D segments. Some American car fans are thrilled at the idea of inexpensive, fuel efficient, fun-to-drive Italian cars -- even if the machines in question end up as Dodges built in Mexico to Italian blueprints. But that's exactly what it is: an idea. And a bad one at that.

Editorial: Chrysler Suicide Watch 42: La Grande Bugia

Robert Farago — Tue, 20 Jan 2009 18:25:06 +0000

Breaking news: Fiat has just signed a "non-binding term sheet" with ChryCo. The Italian automaker will acquire a 35 percent interest in Chrysler for... nothing. No cash. No assets. Niente. And yet the Chrysler - Fiat deal comes complete with the United Auto Workers' (UAW) blessing. It's a nice thought: a global alliance to pull Chrysler's fat from the fire, save the taxpayer's bacon and uncook the UAW's golden goose. But there's zero chance of Fiat riding to the rescue of Chrysler. It's just another part of Chrysler's Big Lie.

Editorial: Chrysler Suicide Watch 41: R.I.P.

Ken Elias — Fri, 31 Oct 2008 14:49:26 +0000

Chrysler is dead. Look for a Chapter 7 filing soon; that’s a liquidation plan, not reorganization. The judge will part-out and sell ChryCo's few valuable assets to the highest bidders. There will be no “Hail Mary” pass to General Motors, no government rescue, no money from Cerberus to keep its corpse from the grave. Yes, the mythical three-headed dog of Hades does keep souls from escaping Hell, try as they might.

Editorial: Chrysler Suicide Watch 40: GM Merger A Done Deal. Or A Breakup. Or Something.

Robert Farago — Fri, 17 Oct 2008 12:34:04 +0000

The auto news biz is abuzz with rumors of Chrysler’s endgame. Even a quick scan reveals that there are more potential scenarios and pitfalls than Operation Eagle Claw, America’s ill-fated attempt to rescue its hostages from Iran. Cerberus trades Chrysler to GM for GM’s remaining share of GMAC. Chrysler sells Jeep to Renault and the rest to GM. Chrysler parts out the company and THEN declares Chapter 11. But no matter how this plays out, foot soldiers will be sacrificed, the American auto industry will remain bound and gagged and the generals will get off Scott free.

Chrysler Suicide Watch 39: “Partnership for technology transformation”

Frank Williams — Fri, 29 Aug 2008 02:14:05 +0000

The following Q&A was published on Chrysler's Firehouse media blog. TTAC republishes it here in its entirety, without editing, to provide insight into Chrysler's call on the public purse, and the ailing automaker's plans for the future. Such as they are... "The campaign season is in full swing, with the Democrats holding their convention in Denver this week, and the Republicans meeting in Minneapolis-St. Paul next week. John Bozzella, Vice President of External Affairs and Public Policy, will be at both conventions, hoping to win over Congressional support for funding the auto industry’s technology transformation to build a new fleet of fuel-efficient vehicles. We talked to Bozzella from Democratic Convention in Denver about the effort.

Q – Why are you in Denver this week and what are you hoping to accomplish?

Chrysler Suicide Watch 38: Nissan Comes a-Courtin’

Frank Williams — Fri, 08 Aug 2008 17:57:57 +0000

Chrysler doesn't do well outside it own backyard, or play well with others. The American automaker's attempts to expand globally in the early ‘60s ended with Chrysler selling their European operations (Rootes Group, Simca and Barreiros) to PSA Peugeot Citroën. In the 70's, Chrysler off-loaded their Australian subsidiary to Mitsubishi. ChryCo's last U.S. partnership with a Japanese manufacturer (Mitsubishi again) ended on less than cordial terms. The "merger of equals" with Germany's Mercedes-Benz almost [may actually have] killed it. So why would Chrysler entertain the idea of another off-shore partnership? And why would Nissan ever want to partner with an automaker as moribund as Chrysler?

Chrysler Suicide Watch 37: No Lease on Life

Ken Elias — Sat, 26 Jul 2008 21:32:14 +0000

Chrysler Financial has pulled the plug on new vehicle leases. Given ongoing bankruptcy rumors, the automaker’s co-Prez immediately manned the PR barricades. Jim Press reassured the world that Chrysler is simply diverting lease subsidies into “traditional financing.” That way, “many customers” could enjoy “about” the same monthly payment that they “would have had” in a lease. Meanwhile, ChryCo spokeswoman Shawn Morgan sang the same old song. "Despite the challenges, Chrysler continues to meet or exceed its plan on all financial metrics." C’mon, really?

Chrysler Suicide Watch 36: Ghosn Fishing

Michael Martineck — Fri, 11 Jul 2008 16:17:44 +0000

The breakup of Chrysler has begun. It’s been done quietly, in the open, but under obnubilating nomenclature. That last phrase says it all. Why lie when you can make the truth so damn confusing? While Cerberus denies imminent sell-off, a cadre of automotive executives has Chrysler on a hook, passing around a felt tip pen. In fact, a pre-break up party is the only way of explaining some of the crazy-ass deals the three-headed dog has been fetching lately.

Chrysler Suicide Watch 35: Reason to Be Cheerful

Robert Farago — Fri, 20 Jun 2008 23:39:53 +0000

(The following email was sent to Chrysler employees today. It was released to the media with a note which read "'This information should help you cover Chrysler. We also sent it to our employees to help them as ambassadors of the company - Nancy." We leave it to you, our Best and Brightest, to make what you will of it.)

Keeping Track of the Facts on Chrysler LLC
By Nancy Rae
Senior Vice President, Human Resources and Corporate Communications

As the industry goes through a period of great change and a slowing economy, we all face difficult questions about the status of the industry and our company. Following are a number of the leading subjects that come up in the media and in our daily conversations, as well as information you need to know and share:

Chrysler Suicide Watch 34: End Game

Robert Farago — Tue, 10 Jun 2008 15:06:41 +0000

Back when Cerberus bought Chrysler from Daimler, the new owner’s spinmeisters were highly animated. “We’re quicker than quick,” they proclaimed. “Our private equity owners don’t answer to The Street. We can make decisions-- and get things done-- fast.” The party line was designed to counter fears that Cerberus had bought-in simply strip-and-flip Chrysler. Uh-uh. They were going to restructure the ailing American automaker. Right now. And then… nothing. As Billy Preston said, nothing from nothing leaves nothing.

Chrysler Suicide Watch 32: Slumlords

Andrew Dederer — Wed, 26 Mar 2008 01:17:50 +0000

It’s getting close to the first anniversary of Chrysler going to the dog. While there’ve been job cuts and “market adjustments,” the shoes are still hanging. Chrysler is still a long way from being profitable. But it appears to be an equally long way from breakup. What exactly is planned? The truth may be that Cerberus isn't “planning” so much as “waiting.”

Chrysler Suicide Watch 31: False Dawn

Robert Farago — Mon, 11 Feb 2008 15:44:00 +0000

“It’s a New Day.” Unless you’re terminally ill or the guest of a terrorist cell, this observation won’t come as much of a surprise or, in itself, cause much delight. And yet that’s the tagline for the [now] combined Chrysler, Dodge and Jeep brands. In an explanatory TV ad, an animated child tells viewers that the American automaker will [now] listen to YOU and build cars the cars YOU want. The ad is an excellent example of what Adolph Hitler called The Big Lie: a falsehood so "colossal" that no one would believe that someone "could have the impudence to distort the truth so infamously". To wit: if any single automaker ISN’T building the cars YOU want, it’s Chrysler.

Chrysler Suicide Watch 30: The Early Attempts, Pt. 2

Paul Niedermeyer — Fri, 28 Dec 2007 17:37:44 +0000

Chrysler’s near-death experience in 1980 had a salutary effect on the company’s culture. Headcount was slashed by over 50 percent. By necessity, the old ways of doing business were consigned to the crusher. “New Chrysler’s” execs, managers, marketers, designers, engineers, union workers and suppliers all had to work together to find creative ways of doing more with less. With Lee Iaccoca at the helm, it was a seminal moment in Chrysler’s history: an opportunity for the once great American car company to thoroughly reinvent itself.

Chrysler Suicide Watch 29: The Early Attempts, Pt. 1

Paul Niedermeyer — Thu, 27 Dec 2007 17:49:39 +0000

Suicidal tendencies can be pathological, inevitably recurring. Chrysler’s current self-destructive phase, as chronicled by TTAC, is hardly its first. From its very beginnings, the patient has suffered from symptoms of bi-polar syndrome. Chrysler’s biography is a nothing less than a roller coaster ride of giddy highs punctuated by disastrous crashes and self mutilation.

Chrysler Suicide Watch 28: The End of the Beginning of the End

Robert Farago — Fri, 21 Dec 2007 20:46:17 +0000

"Are we bankrupt? Technically, no. Operationally, yes. The only thing that keeps us from going into bankruptcy is the $10 billion investors entrusted us with." Another milestone: Chrysler CEO Bob Nardelli used the “b word’ in public. What’s more, Boot ‘em Bob told the Wall Street Journal (WSJ) that he’s on a leash so short he can feel the hot breath of his Cerberusian owners tickling his neck hairs. Why’s that then? Because all Hell's about to break loose.

Chrysler Suicide Watch 27: What’s Next

Robert Farago — Tue, 23 Oct 2007 15:41:39 +0000

How in the world did the United Auto Workers (UAW) boss Ron Gettelfinger think he could get his Chrysler members to ratify their proposed contract without providing job guarantees? Did he seriously believe a $3k signing bonus would convince his otherwise carrot-less union brothers and sisters to surrender their right to graduate into cushy “non core” jobs? Or was Gettelfinger blindsided by his own ego; figuring he could yell “roll over” and “play dead” at 45k well-paid autoworkers and make it so? Either way, the question must be asked: what the Hell is going on?

Chrysler Suicide Watch 26: Connect the Dots

Frank Williams — Thu, 18 Oct 2007 16:46:44 +0000

Kids love to play connect the dots. When the dots are numbered sequentially (with a few outlining details thrown in to keep 'em focused), it's easy to do. When the numbers are missing, it's hard to see anything more than random points on a page. And so it is with Chrysler, an American automaker that's generated enough bloggable news during the last six months to keep Google News-alerted surfers away from their designated job for hours at a time. Even though only Chrysler's new owners know their real game plan, there's been enough new "dots" to form a recognizable pattern. What it reveals is a company on the cusp of a major revolution.