Soon after the GM – Chrysler mashup was first mooted, TTAC’s resident photochopper Andrei Avarvarii created some Frankensteinian vehicular combinations worthy of the merger. And where TTAC leads, others follow. Car and Driver attempted the self-same thing. And though pop-pom wielding Detroit News scribe Scott Burgess doesn’t have access to a chopmeister, he’s got a keyboard– and he’s not afraid to use it. The resulting Germanification suggestions for GM – Chrysler monikers and products has none of the panache of Frank Williams’ groundbreaking Yukatahoeburbelade (and others). Still, it’s one thing to say a fellow journalist lacks wit. It’s another to prove it (other than simply pointing at the rival’s work and snickering). And with your help, that’s just what we’ll do. C’mon B&B, show the DetN how it’s done. Here’s where SB’s set the bar…
“Chrysler Astrapen: Fuel economy of an Astra, space of an Aspen.
Chevy Maliburing: Redesign magic of the Malibu but at the cost of the Sebring.
Dodge SilveRamdo: Coil springs for all four wheels.
Jeep Wrangler: No sense in mucking this vehicle up.
Cadillac CTS: Or this one.
Chevy Corvettenger: Buzz of the Challenger, performance of the Corvette.
Saturn Tracadia: Does GMChrysler really need a Chevy, Saturn and GMC large crossover?
Journey DTS: A five passenger crossover that takes you to the airport.
Jeep Commandblazer: Build one and then stop.
Chrysler Volt and Country: An electric minivan would make these transportation boxes trendy again.”
9 Comments on “Ask the Best and Brightest: Are You Funnier Than Scott Burgess?...”
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- Jeep Compass -> Hummer H-FAIL
- Buick Enclave & Country, perfect for gated subdivisions
- Chrysler Asscalade EXT Hybrid: big green bling
- Chevy Calibalt SS/RT, eventually to be replaced by the Calibruze once they come up with the funds. Fantastic ‘Ring times but ugly as sin.
Dodge Carabu: a seven-passenger sedan, with available Denali trim package
GMChrysler Chemistry: combines features from the Dodge Neon, the Chevy Cobalt and the Saturn Ion.
A few ideas:
Goat Wrangler – for the cowboy in all of us
Aztek Camaro – for 80’s music lovers
Citation Avenger – the meter maid’s worst nightmare
Vibe Raider – for the ladies
Magnum Maxx – for size queens
I’ve got a few.
Escapen – Now one might wonder what the advantage is to combining one big, stupid luxury SUV with another big, stupid luxury SUV. The advantage? In the end, you’re left with one less big, stupid luxury SUV.
HHR Cruiser – Finally, the revolutionary small wagon meets the blatant GM ripoff.
Avenger6 – If you combine two fake sports sedans, do you have enough parts to make one real sports sedan?
LaSebring – The last word in cars for senior citizens.
Imcharger – How to ruin a good, fullsize RWD car, lesson 1.
300DTS – How to ruin a good, fullsize RWD car, lesson 2.
Chally Carlo – How to ruin a good, fullsize RWD car, lesson 3.
Vuepass – With 7 compact SUV’s between GM and Chrysler, I thought it was time to just start combining them.
Grand Hummer – Flagship of the newly formed Jeemmer Division
Darado – Small pickup replacing Dakota and Colorado
El Darado – Caddy’s version of same truck
Sierramado – Badge-engineered pickup to sell under the Dodge, GMC and Chevy brands
Lambdango Yukotahburbascalade – Single SUV/CUV to replace all large SUVs/CUVs – Lambda quads, Durango, Yukon, Tahoe, Suburban, Aspen and Escalade. To be sold by all divisions with at least three different overlapping trim levels for each.
Impalacrobringer – All-purpose front wheel drive four door sedan to keep the rental companies happy.
I prefer my previously coined “Ramerado” moniker.
Frank is the master. I can’t top “Lambdango Yukotahburbascalade”
I’m sitting here trying to pronouce that… VBG!
I’m all for having 11 unique CUVs, 17 unique SUVs, and a dozen sedans or coupes if the sales are there to support it. It’s the rebadging that gets on my nerves.