QOTD: We Don't Need No Stinkin' [BLANK]

Jonny Lieberman
by Jonny Lieberman

In addition to more and more horsepower, automobile manufacturers are seemingly locked in a desperate struggle to load their vehicles up with more and more, well, stuff. Supposedly to help you drive better. After all, modern supercars are essentially porky Le Mans racers with power windows. But which feature is the most oversold, the most useless? Which does nothing but fill promotional material and empty your wallet? Is it AWD used mostly in dry conditions? The empty promise of 50/50 weight distribution? Manumatic gearboxes (or dare I say it… DSG?). Ceramic brakes that catch on fire and cost more than other cars? Nav systems that point out the nearest casino? Carbon fiber door inserts? Massaging seats? What? You tell us: what is the most oversold and useless car feature/characteristic currently on the market?

Jonny Lieberman
Jonny Lieberman

Cleanup driver for Team Black Metal V8olvo.

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  • Kamikaze Kamikaze on Jul 18, 2006
    What's wrong with turning the key a bit further to start the car? On my Lexus you just have the key on your body, backpack, purse etc. to both open, and start the car. No more fumbling for keys in the dark, or cold, and no more keys banging and rattling while you are driving. It took a few weeks to get used to the feature, but I love it now.
  • David C. Holzman David C. Holzman on Jul 18, 2006

    CAsterOil wrote: Hah! No-one has mentioned yet that most annoying ???feature??? THE STARTER BUTTON! Get in, insert key, turn, idiot lights come on, and then you have to press the big red button to start the damn thing! What???s wrong with turning the key a bit further to start the car? NOW that's funny! I can remember back in '57, the old Studebaker was in the shop, they gave my father an aged loaner, the brand of which escapes me. He had to press a starter button, and I can remember thinking, at the age of four, that it seemed superfluous.

  • Jonny Lieberman Jonny Lieberman on Jul 18, 2006

    BMW has an odd take on that in the new 3 series. the "Key" is like a USB drive and you stick its plastic ass into a slot. Then you press a starter button. Really, big deal, who cares. Except! Under hard cornering, the damn thing flies out! The car doesn't shut down, but a light comes on and a boing bongs and there's this stupid plastic thing under your feet. Saab still has the best idea., followed by Porsche.

  • Testy test Testy test on Aug 01, 2006

    Doors. We don't need no stinkin' doors. I have a Jeep. The best thing about it in the summer is to watch the lines go by - or even better the rocks. That's it. I'm done. Just don't need door. Except the winter sucks.

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