Ask Jack: R-E-S-P-E-C-T?

Then Peter opened his mouth, and said, Of a truth I perceive that God is no respecter of persons; But in every nation he that feareth him, and worketh righteousness, is accepted with him. Some of you will immediately recognize that as Acts 10:34-35. The rest of you are heathens who have no business in a civilized society. I’m just kidding, of course; in the future, do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the law.

The phrase “respecter of persons” won’t be immediately obvious to people without a classical education so allow me to elaborate. To pay respect to someone’s person was to give them the courtesy due their rank. It’s odd to think that once upon a time children were exhaustively drilled in proper titles and modes of address and whatnot, but that’s just the way it was. Woe betide the poor prole who referred to someone as “Your Grace” instead of “Your Highness” or something like that.

We’re now seeing a bit of that old stratified society return nowadays, in the endless permutations of luxury services and in Manhattanite children who tell their parents, “Next time we fly private like everyone else.” It will only get worse from here. And the more it becomes blatantly obvious that there are different classes of people in this world, the stronger the appeal will be of a politician, or a God, who is immune to the blandishments and caresses of rank but instead judges people for their righteous works.

The American freeway, of course, has a ranking system of its own, and that’s where today’s question comes in.

During my daily urban freeway commutes to work and home, I see a lot of bad driving that sometimes gets uncomfortably close to my car. I’m pretty good at situational awareness (I’m also a licensed motorcyclist), so I’ve learned to keep myself out of harm’s way and to protect my space through lane position and by adjusting my speed and following distances. I’m also aware of my responsibility to cooperate with other drivers by keeping traffic moving and getting out of the way if needed. And yet, I still get cut-off, tail-gated, and screwed-with way too much.

I realize that a portion of my frustration has to do with the fact that some people simply don’t give a flip. However for the remainder, does vehicle type influence the behavior of traffic around you? In your experience having driven sedans, coupes, sporty cars, luxury cars, trucks and SUVs, does one type yield greater respect in traffic than the others?

What a fascinating and insightful question! And all the more so because it gets to an odd fundamental truth of road behavior. When it comes to interactions between vehicles, there is truth and there is perception. Some people judge the surrounding vehicles according to the truth of what is likely to happen. Here’s an example: If you are on a freeway passing through downtown Detroit and you see a beat-up Oldsmobile Ninety-Eight swerving through traffic behind you at 100 mph, then you should strongly consider the fact that the driver probably has very little to lose by colliding with you, and you should act accordingly.

Others judge based on perception: I’d better let that F-350 in because otherwise he’ll just swerve over and crush my car. The truth of the matter is that anybody with $75,000 in a light-duty pickup truck also probably has a license, registration, assets, insurance, and other things that he could lose if he actually hits you while driving aggressively. A few weeks ago I was driving back to Ohio from New York and I saw someone in a pearl-white Lexus LX570 acting the absolute 110-mph fool in traffic. The cars around him parted like the Red Sea (sorry, second Bible reference today!) but when he got up to me I cheerfully ignored his aggressive attempts to get me to move over. If you have a new LX570 with Connecticut tags then chances are you have plenty to lose by actually bumping another car.

I spend most of my commuting mileage on a motorcycle nowadays which means that, like Tom, I have become very sensitive to dangerous behavior around me on the road. Except, that is, when I get into my Hecho-en-Mexico Silverado Pimp Truck(tm) and wander worry-free down the freeway. When I need to change lanes, I have but to signal and someone in a Camry or CR-V will immediately let me in. If I have traffic ahead of me, it tends to move out of my way. If there is traffic behind me, I don’t really care. I know that everybody around me is driving based on perception and that the perception of a white Chevy work truck is “will hit your car and then countersue you through his plumbing LLC for emotional damage.”

Like it or not, there is a hierarchy of courtesy on the American road. Middle-class people yield to the very poor and the very rich, because they understand the unequal impact of a traffic accident on their finances and time. Small cars yield to large SUVs and trucks because they have learned the hard way just how little attention the drivers of three-ton road whales pay to the traffic around them. Nearly everybody has to move for the so-called “bro-dozer” lifted trucks, whose occupants are seen as testosterone-drunk road-ragers who will ram you and then start shooting.

The most affordable way to get a little courtesy from your fellow drivers would be to buy an old F-250 crew-cab work truck. Hit it with a hammer until it looks mean. Put on a trucker cap and a bright-yellow construction-worker’s shirt. Then head out on the highway, looking for adventure. You will not need to be a respecter of persons. Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of your law. Everybody out there will give you what Aretha wanted: R-E-S-P-E-C-T.