QOTD: Choose Your Own (Fake) Adventure
You’d never know it from the Internet, where the Code Of Hammurabi rules with an iron hand and people on the forums are comfortable recommending the death penalty for everything from “stancing” your car to the unjustified application of an AMG badge purchased on eBay — hold on, I kind of agree with that last one — but it is probably not a crime not to use every last iota of your vehicle’s rated capabilities. You’re allowed to own a sportbike without racing it in WERA or doing a 140-mph stand-up wheelie past a police station. It’s morally acceptable for you to purchase a Porsche 911 Targa and never run it in any sort of Targa event whatsoever. And, as difficult as you may find this to believe, not everybody who acquired a Chevy Monte Carlo was a native citizen of, or even a past visitor to, the Principality of Monaco.
Still, it’s difficult not to feel a minor bit of disdain for the various pretensions that currently animate the automotive market. Not that you’ll pick that up from reading the new-car coverage at Chicago. Most of us don’t feel comfortable doing much more than what’s encapsulated by Pope’s delightful turn of eighteenth-century phrase: Damn with faint praise, assent with civil leer, / And without sneering, teach the rest to sneer.
Let’s take a break from that not-quite-good-natured approach for a moment.
So let’s talk about the worst and the best of these Action Packages out there. Which ones are a total joke? Which ones offer real utility and improvements that will go completely unused? Which is more tragic, anyway?
I’m going to cast my vote for the Toyota “Pre-Runners” out there. It’s a 2WD pickup pretending to be a 4WD pickup! But we call it “pre-runner” why exactly? Because you might take it to Baja? More like you might take it to Baja Fresh, dude! Am I right? Of course I’m right!
More by Jack Baruth
Latest Car Reviews
Read moreLatest Product Reviews
Read moreRecent Comments
- El scotto UH, more parking and a building that was designed for CAT 5 cable at the new place?
- Ajla Maybe drag radials? 🤔
- FreedMike Apparently this car, which doesn't comply to U.S. regs, is in Nogales, Mexico. What could possibly go wrong with this transaction?
- El scotto Under NAFTA II or the USMCA basically the US and Canada do all the designing, planning, and high tech work and high skilled work. Mexico does all the medium-skilled work.Your favorite vehicle that has an Assembled in Mexico label may actually cross the border several times. High tech stuff is installed in the US, medium tech stuff gets done in Mexico, then the vehicle goes back across the border for more high tech stuff the back to Mexico for some nuts n bolts stuff.All of the vehicle manufacturers pass parts and vehicles between factories and countries. It's thought out, it's planned, it's coordinated and they all do it.Northern Mexico consists of a few big towns controlled by a few families. Those families already have deals with Texan and American companies that can truck their products back and forth over the border. The Chinese are the last to show up at the party. They're getting the worst land, the worst factories, and the worst employees. All the good stuff and people have been taken care of in the above paragraph.Lastly, the Chinese will have to make their parts in Mexico or the US or Canada. If not, they have to pay tariffs. High tariffs. It's all for one and one for all under the USMCA.Now evil El Scotto is thinking of the fusion of Chinese and Mexican cuisine and some darn good beer.
- FreedMike I care SO deeply!
Comments
Join the conversation
Eurosport Tercel Sport ..............cough.....ZX-14.....cough.........
Now, I've been to Monaco, but never owned a Monte Carlo. Although I may have ridden in one at some point, dunno. And I wear loafers to shovel snow (we've had three feet this winter) because, house. My truck is as basic as they come, with a bed that will hold sheets of plywood flat on the bottom. Perfect size. And it will also tow my sailboat, without an automatic transmission *gasp*. I'd love to go back to Monaco and park in the parking lot of the Monte Carlo with a Monte Carlo. Lowered, lights underneath, all blinged-out and parked next to someone's Ferrari.