Ask Bark: G37S, IS350, 335i, or … Chrysler Two Hunnert?

sportyaccordy writes:

Hey Bark,

My current ride is a manual Civic sedan, which I’ve modified but in which I’ve lost interest. It’s just not powerful enough, and I think I want something a little more relaxing for the daily grind. I commute about 400 miles a week and offspring are hopefully coming in the near future. I’ve grown to accept that my next car may break my all-stick-shift streak (six since 2003). I don’t want or need all-wheel drive as I live in the South.

So what do I want?

Well I definitely want a sedan; preferably a smaller one. I definitely want something with six cylinders and liters no less than three by the Lor’t’s decree. I also don’t want to spend more than $20,000, so it will obviously be used. It wouldn’t hurt to have a decent aftermarket—I want to lower the car and put an intake and exhaust on it. The obvious choices to me are the Infiniti G37S, followed by the previous-generation Lexus IS 350 and BMW 335i.

Still, I just can’t shake the idea of at least checking out a 2015+ Chrysler 200S. Why?

• UConnect is way better than the infotainment options offered by the G37S, old IS350, and E90. I don’t know specifically what’s available for each car, but I know some of the G37s don’t have Bluetooth. I’m sure the navigation systems are ancient as well, which will suck for road trips.
• The other midsize mainstreamers have zero appeal to me. I don’t want another four-banger. I’m a man of means, and a red-blooded (naturalized) American. That automatically rules out the Mazda 6, Hyundai Sonata/ Kia Optima twins, Chevrolet Malibu and Ford Fusion. I’m content to resign my automotive exuberance, but not all at once; ditching the stick is enough of a big deal.
• The Honda Accord, Nissan Altima, Toyota Camry, Volkswagen Passat, and Subaru Legacy six-cylinders are just a bridge too far, and most likely always will be.
• I don’t want nor need the extra girth of a full-sizer. I’m alone in the car 90 percent of the time.
• My car won’t be the main offspring carrier, but I’d like to install an infant seat just in case. That may actually knock the IS out of contention, though I’ll have to see how bad it is in real life.

It doesn’t hurt that I can afford a 200 that still has some of its factory warranty left. Consumer Reports shows a mixed bag for reliability and says the car is poor overall, but all the specific data suggests the 200 is excellent. The only legitimate fear I have regarding the 200 is its nine-speed automatic, though I’ll see for myself how bad it is on a test drive. Actually, another bugaboo is the nearly non-existent aftermarket. All I see for the 200 is a set of coilovers from a company called Scale and who knows if they will even be around next year or how their stuff will hold up.

Still though, the thing looks and sounds good in and out, does the quarter in the low 14s, gets mid-20 miles per gallon combined and can hold an infant seat with room to spare — for well within my budget. I’m a lifelong import guy and my mother-in-law had a last-generation 200 convertible that was complete garbage. Still, I just cannot shake the idea of checking out a new 200.

What would you do? Please talk me out of this.

Thanks,

Interesting question. Once again, it goes to show that, in the real world, car buyers can and do cross shop everything. Ev-er-y-thang.

I don’t think you’re crazy for considering the 200S. If it had a Lexus badge on it, you’d probably already own it, right? It checks off every box that you’ve listed as being your primary care-abouts. The Pentastar motor is no joke in that car, either. I’ve seen my dear brother put the similarly motored and platformed Avenger R/T squarely up the ass of some much more prestigious cars on track.

That being said, there’s a pretty big performance gap between the other cars you’re considering and the 200S. Let’s put up some performance stats of the cars you’re considering, and we’ll play “match ’em up” just like we were reading “Highlights For Children.” Man, I miss that magazine.

• 0-60: 6.2 sec 1/4 mile: 14.4
• 0-60: 4.7 sec 1/4 mile: 13.4
• 0-60: 4.9 sec 1/4 mile: 13.3
• 0-60: 4.8 sec 1/4 mile: 13.3

Not hard to pick out the 200S, is it? (For the record, it’s 200S, E90 335i, G37S, IS350.) Also, the 200S’s handling prowess is going to lag fairly far behind the other, more performance-oriented cars.

You mentioned the aftermarket, but there’s nothing more distasteful than a car that’s been modified that wasn’t really intended to be modified. Where an E90 can look mighty bad-ass lowered and tinted, a 200S is just going to look … I’m trying very hard not to say a word that would cause the PC police to report me to the nearest Ministry of Love. I think most people’s first reaction would be to giggle a bit.

You’re right to be worried about the nine-speed transmission, too. It really is that bad. Every time I’ve driven a car equipped with the ZF-sourced nin-speed automatic, I felt as though any other transmission would have vastly improved the car.

You also wrote that you felt that the Accord/Camry/Altima would be going too far away from your enthusiast roots. From the perspective of somebody who wouldn’t consider any of the midsizers (with the exception of the Fusion Sport), I have to ask: what makes the 200 any better? From a performance standpoint, it’s worse than all the cars you listed. A Camry SE would embarrass a 200 on track. Of all the midsizer six-cylinder offerings, the 200 is slowest to 60 miles per hour and slowest in the 1/4. There’s a pretty good amount of aftermarket support for the V6 Accord, too. You could even go Accord Coupe and keep a manual transmission — and I believe that Baruth the Elder has put an infant seat in his many times.

Finally, the most damning evidence I can give you against the 200S is I’ve had them as rentals at least three or four times, and I’ve never even felt compelled to write a review of one. It’s just that blah and boring.

So while I’m normally a supporter of the oddball choice, it doesn’t make a bit of sense for you in this case. If I were making this buying decision, I’d go in the following order:

1. Lexus IS 350
2. Infiniti G37S
3. BMW 335i
4. Honda Accord V6
5. Toyota Camry SE
6. Lots of other things
7. Chrysler 200S

Hope that did it for you, my friend.

Bark M. is generally better at talking people into bad decisions than out of them, but send him your questions anyway! Mail those electronic letters to barkm302@gmail.com or follow him on the social platform of your choice.