Der ChicWagen: Audi's New A5/S5 Sportback

Despite dire warnings that the sedan is about to experience a slow and grisly demise, der Technikers at Audi announced today that they will be crafting a new five-door liftback from their swoopy A5 coupe, the most interesting of which is the S5 Sportback.

Styling is typical Audi fare, employing their current Different Lengths of Sausage™ design language. Audi trumpets the Sportback’s short overhangs but it’s hard to ignore the gawping Singleframe grille, flatter and wider here than on previous models.

Audi estimates the S5 Sportback will accomplish the 0-60 mile per hour sprint in 4.7 seconds. A newly developed, direct injection, 3.0-liter TFSI turbo V6 engine will churn out 354 of the finest German horses and 369 pounds-feet of torque from a barely off-idle 1370 rpm. Unburdened by leiderhosen-shod tuba players, the “five-door sports coupé” is nearly 190 pounds lighter than its predecessor (at 3660 lbs).

There will be lesser versions of the model, set to bear the A5 Sportback moniker, equipped with lower powered engines making between 190 hp and 286 hp. TDI engines are mentioned in the media release, but given the diesel debacle there’s a great chance they will be less popular than a Greek accountant. All-wheel drive is an option on the order sheet.

The interior will be available in numerous types of sumptuous leather, including a quilted light grey and perforated dark pumpernickel. Okay, I made up the last one. What I’m not making up is the “Audi phone box” which, sadly missing a comedic Dr. Who/TARDIS tie-in, connects smartphones to an on-board antenna by near-field coupling and simultaneously charges them inductively using the Qi standard. Audiophiles will be able to listen to their favourite oompah band through the always fantastic Bang & Olufsen sound system. Audi’s large, high-resolution TFT monitor — spanning a rennfahrer pleasing 12.3 inches — presents the driver with richly detailed graphics.

So, just to recap, Audi makes a five door version of a two door version of a four door sedan. The new A5 Sportback will hit the road in Germany and other European countries at the start of 2017 for a base price of EUR 37,800. Slovenly Western showrooms will be bereft of this model until such time that Audi’s overlords deem us worthy — which they surely will, since BMW and Mercedes seem to sell all the four-door coo-pays they can make.

[Images: Audi AG]