The Mini Clubman's 2,860-Pound Hitch is Rated R

Mark Stevenson
by Mark Stevenson

Mini, the British brand built atop the idea of British fashionability, has been incredibly style conscious ever since BMW brought it back from the depths of English oppression. Its iconic Cooper still wears a silhouette that harkens back to the original, but offers modern safety equipment and enough room for life-sized humans. You can order the Union Jack placed on virtually any body panel. And those center-mounted speedometers — as much as they put Flava Flav on notice — were a charming touch, if completely useless.

Yet, posh Britons are a fairly easy bunch to embarrass. For example, flatulence is met with mortified exclamations of “My word!” before said flatulator escapes to another room to make tea.

So, with that in mind, how the hell did the Clubman’s tow hitch make it past the censors?

Yup … there it is. Introducing the Clubman: the new compact from Mini that’s incredibly excited to tow your next load. Truck Nutz not included.

This image was pulled directly off the Mini press site. I’m sure from any other angle it looks just peachy. But, what is seen cannot be unseen.

[Image: Mini]

Mark Stevenson
Mark Stevenson

More by Mark Stevenson

Comments
Join the conversation
2 of 47 comments
  • Maserchist Maserchist on May 22, 2016

    Certainly will cause ankle/shin angst among the "unaware" crowd.

  • Spamvw Spamvw on May 23, 2016

    Bosal Hitch, VW even puts a spot to store it in my tool kit. To keep the theme, "Excuse me while I whip this out!"

  • FreedMike I would find it hard to believe that Tesla spent time and money on developing a cheaper model, only to toss that aside in favor of a tech that may or may not ever work right. Having said that, though, I think what's happening with Tesla is something I've been predicting for a long time - they have competition now. That's reflected in their market share. Moreover, their designs are more than a bit stale now - the youngest model is the Model Y, which is in its' fifth model year. And it's hard to believe the Model 3 is in its' seventh model year. Aside from an interior restyle on the Model 3, neither of those cars looks substantially different than they did when they came on the market. That's a problem. And you can also toss in Tesla's penchant for unnecessary weirdness as a liability - when the Model 3 and Y were introduced, there was no real competition for either, so people had to put up with the ergonomic stupidity and the weird styling to get an electric compact sedan or crossover. Today, there's no shortage of alternatives to either model, and while Tesla still holds an edge in battery and EV tech, the competition is catching up. So...a stale model lineup, acceptable alternatives...and Elon Musk's demon brain (the gift that keeps on giving), All that has undercut their market share, and they have to cut prices to stay competitive. No wonder they're struggling. Solution? Stop spending money on tech that may never work (cough...FSD) and concentrate on being a car company.
  • EBFlex “Tesla’s first-quarter net income dropped a whopping 55 percent”That’s staggering and not an indicator of a market with insatiable demand. These golf cart manufacturers are facing a dark future.
  • MrIcky 2014 Challenger- 97k miles, on 4th set of regular tires and 2nd set of winter tires. 7qts of synthetic every 5k miles. Diff and manual transmission fluid every 30k. aFe dry filter cone wastefully changed yearly but it feels good. umm. cabin filters every so often? Still has original battery. At 100k, it's tune up time, coolant, and I'll have them change the belts and radiator hoses. I have no idea what that totals up to. Doesn't feel excessive.2022 Jeep Gladiator - 15k miles. No maintenance costs yet, going in for my 3rd oil change in next week or so. All my other costs have been optional, so not really maintenance
  • Jalop1991 I always thought the Vinfast name was strange; it should be a used car search site or something.
  • Theflyersfan Here's the link to the VinFast release: https://vingroup.net/en/news/detail/3080/vinfast-officially-signs-agreements-with-12-new-dealers-in-the-usI was looking to see where they are setting up in Kentucky...Bowling Green? Interesting... Surprised it wasn't Louisville or Northern Kentucky. When Tesla opened up the Louisville dealer around 2019 (I believe), sales here exploded and they popped up in a lot of neighborhoods. People had to go to Indy or Cincinnati/Blue Ash to get one. If they manage to salvage their reputation after that quality disaster-filled intro a few months back, they might have a chance. But are people going to be willing to spend over $45,000 for an unknown Vietnamese brand with a puny dealer/service network? And their press photo - oh look, more white generic looking CUVs. Good luck guys. Your launch is going to have to be Lexus in 1989/1990 perfect. Otherwise, let me Google "History of Yugo in the United States" as a reference point.
Next