Crapwagon Outtake: 1994 Rover Mini

Chris Tonn
by Chris Tonn

I’ve not yet had the pleasure of driving a classic Mini. Residing in Ohio, this isn’t altogether surprising, as the climate has not been kind to many older cars. Also, there’s the problem of not being able to actually fit. Someday, though, I need to give it a try.

With a production run spanning six decades, there are likely many Minis still seeing use as daily drivers in the UK. Like any other ubiquitous car, then, these are subject to the whims of the owners looking to give their rides some additional personality.

As it seems there are no Pep Boys in England, questionable modifications must come from other sources.

Today’s 1994 Rover Mini has been treated to an unusual rhinoplasty, using a donor grille and headlamps from an older Mercedes-Benz sedan. It’s in England, though the eBay listing is in US dollars. And it’s too new to import here, though I’m sure some enterprising lunatic might try to bring it over anyhow, thinking it’s some oddball limited edition worth a pile of cash.

After all, the brands of the former BMC/BLMC have been through so many hands that Daimler might have had some corporate ownership at some point, and we’ve just forgotten. The old-new Mini (R53 generation) had a engine built in a BMW/Chrysler joint-venture in Brazil, and Daimler owned Chrysler for a time. This could have been a result.

Or some bloke found some cool bits in a scrapyard and fitted them to his daily driver in an attempt to stand out and get more money on resale.

My admittedly dreaming thought is a compact tribute to the legendary “Red Pig” Mercedes-Benz race car of the ’70s, as shown above. Call it a “Red Piglet” or something. Needs more AMG decals, though.

[Image: Mini, eBay user mountainminis; Benz, By Jiří Sedláček (Own work) [ CC BY-SA 4.0], via Wikimedia Commons]

Chris Tonn is a broke classic car enthusiast that writes about old cars, since he can’t afford to buy them. Commiserate with him on Twitter, Facebook, or Instagram.

Chris Tonn
Chris Tonn

Some enthusiasts say they were born with gasoline in their veins. Chris Tonn, on the other hand, had rust flakes in his eyes nearly since birth. Living in salty Ohio and being hopelessly addicted to vintage British and Japanese steel will do that to you. His work has appeared in eBay Motors, Hagerty, The Truth About Cars, Reader's Digest, AutoGuide, Family Handyman, and Jalopnik. He is a member of the Midwest Automotive Media Association, and he's currently looking for the safety glasses he just set down somewhere.

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  • Spike_in_Brisbane Spike_in_Brisbane on Mar 07, 2016

    I had a work colleague who was 6'7". He owned a mini and said it was one of the few cars he could comfortably drive because the drivers seat just kept going back and the straight arms/legs driving position was not compromised by this. P.S. The mini was a great car compared to the Hillman Imp.

  • ExPatBrit ExPatBrit on Mar 07, 2016

    Daimler cars were built in the UK prior to WWII it was a UK company.They just licensed the Daimler name. Queen Elizabeth used to schlep around in a Daimler DS 420 Limousine. Daimler double six was a dressed up Jaguar XJ12 and was built by Leyland who also built the mini. It does look awful!

  • FreedMike Off topic, but folks, this site is not working well for me from a technical standpoint, and it doesn't matter if I'm using my phone, or my computer (on two different browsers). It locks up and makes it impossible to type anything in after a certain point. Anyone else having these issues?
  • Syke Kinda liked the '57, hated the '58. Then again, I hated the entire '58 GM line except for the Chevrolet. Which I liked better than the '57's. Still remember dad's '58 Impala hardtop, in the silver blue that was used as the main advertising color.
  • Dartdude The bottom line is that in the new America coming the elites don't want you and me to own cars. They are going to make building cars so expensive that the will only be for the very rich and connected. You will eat bugs and ride the bus and live in a 500sq-ft. apartment and like it. HUD wants to quit giving federal for any development for single family homes and don't be surprised that FHA aren't going to give loans for single family homes in the very near future.
  • Ravenuer The rear view of the Eldo coupe makes it look fat!
  • FreedMike This is before Cadillac styling went full scale nutty...and not particularly attractive, in my opinion.
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