EPA Releases A Haiku-sized Statement After Volkswagen Meeting

Aaron Cole
by Aaron Cole

Officials from Volkswagen and the U.S. Environmental Protection Agency met Wednesday for the first time to discuss the growing rift between the automaker and regulators on how to fix the automaker’s illegally polluting cars. An EPA spokeswoman issued the following statement:

“We appreciated the conversation with Volkswagen. We will continue to work toward a solution.”

Which, I know: It’s technically longer than a haiku, but 14 words still doesn’t say a lot — and yet it says so much.

Just 14 words to sum up whatever was said by Volkswagen CEO Matthias Müller and EPA Administrator Gina McCarthy at Wednesday’s meeting leaves open a lot of room for interpretation, and the EPA’s short statement underlines a curiously developing relationship between regulators and automaker.

Müller has publicly apologized several times — for misunderstanding the law, apparently — but he’s has been famously unflinching in fessing up too much, which was evident in November when they initially disagreed that their 3-liter cars were cheating. On the other end, the EPA has issued increasingly unfriendly statements since announcing in September that hundreds of thousands of cars were illegally polluting.

(Just listening to the September call when the EPA said Volkswagen admitted cheating in its 2-liter cars, to the November call when it said the 3-liter cars were cheating, to December’s deadline extension, to January’s lawsuit filing, to Wednesday’s 14-word statement, a souring relationship looks likely.)

On Monday, Volkswagen affirmed that it would right its wrong and that it would work with the EPA and CARB:

“We know we deeply disappointed our customers, the responsible government bodies, and the general public here in the US. I apologize for what went wrong at Volkswagen,” Müller said in a statement: “We are totally committed to making things right.”

An official from the EPA didn’t comment on the agency’s relationship with the automaker. Volkswagen didn’t immediately comment on the EPA’s statement.

Which says a lot.


Aaron Cole
Aaron Cole

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  • Runs_on_h8raide Runs_on_h8raide on Jan 14, 2016

    I'm not big on haikus but I do like to rhyme. Dirty diesels in the streets Veedubs passed with cheats. CEO is a sonnovabeech Dr Piech ruined the balance sheets. Truth in engineering, there is no substitute, VW Corporate boards filled with prostitutes. EPA drooling at the potential fine, Ghost of the zee fuhrer screams, BUILD MORE NEIN??!!! NEIN??!!! NINE!!! Elevens.

  • Probert Probert on Jan 14, 2016

    How about this for a negotiating tactic: Indict the top executives for conspiracy to commit murder, and/or manslaughter and hold them in prison as a flight risk. Restart negotiations with new representatives of the corporation. Things should go briskly.

  • TheMrFreeze That new Ferrari looks nice but other than that, nothing.And VW having to put an air-cooled Beetle in its display to try and make the ID.Buzz look cool makes this classic VW owner sad 😢
  • Wolfwagen Is it me or have auto shows just turned to meh? To me, there isn't much excitement anymore. it's like we have hit a second malaise era. Every new vehicle is some cookie-cutter CUV. No cutting-edge designs. No talk of any great powertrains, or technological achievements. It's sort of expected with the push to EVs but there is no news on that front either. No new battery tech, no new charging tech. Nothing.
  • CanadaCraig You can just imagine how quickly the tires are going to wear out on a 5,800 lbs AWD 2024 Dodge Charger.
  • Luke42 I tried FSD for a month in December 2022 on my Model Y and wasn’t impressed.The building-blocks were amazing but sum of the all of those amazing parts was about as useful as Honda Sensing in terms of reducing the driver’s workload.I have a list of fixes I need to see in Autopilot before I blow another $200 renting FSD. But I will try it for free for a month.I would love it if FSD v12 lived up to the hype and my mind were changed. But I have no reason to believe I might be wrong at this point, based on the reviews I’ve read so far. [shrug]. I’m sure I’ll have more to say about it once I get to test it.
  • FormerFF We bought three new and one used car last year, so we won't be visiting any showrooms this year unless a meteor hits one of them. Sorry to hear that Mini has terminated the manual transmission, a Mini could be a fun car to drive with a stick.It appears that 2025 is going to see a significant decrease in the number of models that can be had with a stick. The used car we bought is a Mk 7 GTI with a six speed manual, and my younger daughter and I are enjoying it quite a lot. We'll be hanging on to it for many years.
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