A Sordid History Of Unicorns

Fil Cvetkovic
by Fil Cvetkovic

Please welcome Fil Cvetkovic to TTAC. Fil owns a manufacturing firm involved in automotive, aircraft and other industries – and has a long history with owning, repairing and giving up on obscure project cars. Fil will be reporting on used vehicle auctions, and likely picking up new projects for the ame time.

Being the new kid on the block at TTAC, I figured an appropriate place to start would be introducing myself. My name is Filip Cvetkovic, but many know me as Fil or… “Phil with an F.” More importantly, I have more or less dedicated my entire life to the pursuit of unicorns. No, not the mythical creature, I’m talking about the cars that are made of unobtanium. As of this moment, at the ripe young age of 25, I’ve owned 96 cars. Many of which were never even available to Canadians.

I grew up in a family with a general interest in cars, but nothing like the insanity bordering on obsession that has enveloped my life. My mother has always kept an expansive library and at 3 years old, I found the only book about cars, and over the following days spent every moment possible glossing through it until she finally tired of all the drool and crayon markings, and put it on the highest shelf. Looking through the book over two decades later, it’s clear that I was most enamored with the “pagoda roof” Mercedes-Benz 280SL. That passion never faded.

2006 was the year that I got my license, and with it, a Buick Grand National. Before anyone accuses me of being a spoiled brat, I should add that I inherited the car. My father passed away in 2001, and left the GN to me. He was the original owner, buying it new in November of 1986 and it had just a touch over 60,000 miles when I got it. I did my due diligence and had it towed in for a new battery and full service, then it was time for me to hit the roads.

The day I got it back from the mechanic, I picked up two friends and went for subs. Then went to an empty parking lot and did lots of donuts. Was it a good car for a 17 year old kid, filled with testosterone and bad ideas to get his hands on? Absolutely not. Did I wrap it around a pole? No, not yet at least.

By the end of that summer and 1000 miles of shenanigans later, it was time for me to find a sensible winter vehicle. With no intention of driving the GN into December, I acquired myself a print copy of Auto Trader and went on the hunt.

As any car guy does, I spent days leafing through the magazine obsessing over every last detail, until I found the car for me. This time, a metallic emerald green(a colour only available for the last year) ’92 Lincoln Mark VII with tan leather. It had 302 cubic inches of fox-body rear driven glory, in a mature-sensible shell. I went to see it that night, made a low ball offer that the owner accepted and left a deposit. When I called the owner the next day to arrange pick up, he told me somebody gave him his full asking price later that night and I could pick up my deposit at any time.

I hadn’t quite gotten the hang of car buying yet, a skill that I’ve managed to somewhat perfect over the last ninety something cars. With October almost over, I made a desperate call to our family mechanic and he told me he had a ’92 Oldsmobile Cutlass. Sight unseen, I agreed to buy it. All I knew at that point was that it was burgundy and wrong wheel drive. But when I came to pick it up a day later, I was pleasantly surprised to find out it was an “International Series”. For those not in the know about obscure early 90s General Motors trim levels, this was the cream of the crop. It had an oem CD player, sunroof and best of all, GMs famous 178 way adjustable leather seats. Not to mention silly globe badges everywhere.

The real surprise came under the hood. Where I expected an anaemic multi-port fuel injected 60 degree V6, there was an LQ1. We’re talking the high-revving, 215hp 3.4 Twin-Dual Cam motor that was hated by Goodwrench techs everywhere for it’s 13 hour timing-belt replacement and 4 hour alternator replacement. So the perfect car for me to learn how to wrench, right?

I fell in love with it immediately, and I know what you’re thinking, this was a result of it being my first car that I purchased with my own money. But I really don’t think it was that simple. Rather, it was the idiosyncratic nature of that black-magic powered, redheaded step-child of an engine combined with a trim package that consisted of gadgets that worked when they wanted… and lots of globe badges. Who knew a W-Body could have that much character? The car quickly asserted it’s dominance over me. It started when it pleased, idling perfectly when at shops, stalling at lights when not. It was an angry old misfit of a machine made from parts unknown.

Quickly I learned what appealed to me and this is where things got progressively worse. The only way I can describe the following several years is a bad case of mad-car disease. Scanning craigslist and Kijiji, soon I found another International Series which I used for parts to keep mine going. I slept on a friends couch the day I brought it home. Apparently normal people don’t buy cars to have spare parts for their own.

If that’s the case, I don’t want to be normal.

From there, it was a 5 speed ’89 Cavalier Z24. Then a pearl ’98 Oldsmobile Aurora, with the rare Autobahn package. When that blew it’s head gasket, in typical Northstar fashion, the next logical progression was buying a ’99 Cadillac STS with a Northstar, right? Then my girlfriend at the time needed a car, so I bought a supercharged ’03 Grand Prix GTP. It incurred a few bumps and bruises over the years but she learned quickly and took excellent care of it. Although I didn’t always enjoy having to hear about the car acting funny.

The following summer, I bought a Dark Green Grey Metallic ’96 Impala SS, which I later traded for a white/grey ’92 GMC Typhoon After I sold the Typhoon, I bought a ’98 Regal GS and installed an aftermarket turbo kit. You’re probably thinking, didn’t the GS come factory supercharged? Correct, but with an NA intake manifold, turbo and front mount intercooler I managed to pull 310whp out of the car. I know I seem like a total GM fan boy, but in this time frame I also owned a ’96 Mystic Cobra and ’90 Taurus SHO for a few months respectively.

Then when I finished school it was time to buy something responsible. I bought an ’07 F150 XLT Crew Cab. The following summer, I installed a Magnusson twin-screw supercharger on it. It had a liquid-to-air intercooler and 44lb fuel injectors, and even with a dyno tune I was averaging 12mpg out of the already thirsty 5.4L 3V triton. And now I had to run premium gasoline. So much for responsible.

Being forced to find a more efficient daily driver, I found what became known to my friends and I as “beater GN.” It was a tired 87 GN with 180,000 miles, T-roofs were silicone shut, it had rust bubbles up the a-pillar and around both rear wheel wells but completely solid underneath and ran mint. With my other GN more or less a garage queen, it was an invigorating experience to get to drive one daily and despite it’s condition, still received compliments and thumbs up wherever I went.

Cruising down Ohio back roads returning from the Buick Performance Nationals in a Grand National was truly special. Telling my then girlfriend that the windows were down to feel the warm breeze, when truly I just didn’t have to listen to wind noise and rattling from the t-roofs that way. Being asked by the border officer to give it some gas when pulling away. Finally getting home at 1am and wishing I was still behind the wheel. There is something that unicorns bring to the table that “normal people cars” don’t.

After that summer I sold the supercharged F150 and beater GN and bought a ’12 F150 XTR Crew Cab with the 5.0L, a decision I regret to this day. I’ve since gotten rid of it and vowed never to buy a normal car again. I understand the appeal to the most, but I just can’t drive normal. These days I daily a ’00 Volvo V70R and have an ’87 Mitsubishi Starion, ’97 Volvo 850 AWD turbo, ’96 Impala SS and my Grand National in the garage.

So from here on out I look forward to providing you with regular Craigslist/Kijiji and Auction car reviews, highlighting the most obtuse cars, that only weirdos like you and I will appreciate. And I’ll probably end up buying them.





Fil Cvetkovic
Fil Cvetkovic

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  • Dwbf11 Dwbf11 on Jan 19, 2015

    Welcome Fil! If you're still reading this far down...are you on the Volvo boards at all? Proud owner of an Olive 00 V70R here, although mine's currently undergoing surgery - an M66 6 speed swap!

  • PJmacgee PJmacgee on Jan 19, 2015

    My mom drove a 1980-something Z24 with the 2.8 and 5MT. The undersized clutch and spaceage digital dashboard each had to be replaced about every 15k miles to the tune of $1200, not covered under warranty. With 96 cars though I bet you didn't own it long enough to be a problem...

  • Joe This is called a man in the middle attack and has been around for years. You can fall for this in a Starbucks as easily as when you’re charging your car. Nothing new here…
  • AZFelix Hilux technical, preferably with a swivel mount.
  • ToolGuy This is the kind of thing you get when you give people faster internet.
  • ToolGuy North America is already the greatest country on the planet, and I have learned to be careful about what I wish for in terms of making changes. I mean, if Greenland wants to buy JDM vehicles, isn't that for the Danes to decide?
  • ToolGuy Once again my home did not catch on fire and my fire extinguisher(s) stayed in the closet, unused. I guess I threw my money away on fire extinguishers.(And by fire extinguishers I mean nuclear missiles.)
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