Crapwagon Outtake: Catching Zzzz's In The Q-Ship
In the last decade, American sedans have managed to capture the hearts and minds of enthusiasts in a way that was previously unthinkable. And for good reason. The Cadillac CTS-V, Chrysler/Dodge SRT-8 twins and the Pontiac G8/Chevrolet SS and all truly world class sport sedans, and I’m not interested in any of them. Carlos Villalobos’ Skoda Octavia vRS review has me thinking of a different kind of sports sedan. Something more discreet, maybe one that can be driven while wearing socks with sandals.
Ok, that is a blatant fib. I would love to own one of those vehicles. But in this exercise, it’s my own money on the line, and that means I am going to follow Steve Lang’s philosophy and look for the “ lame duck“, the overlooked but still solid entrant that goes ignored, to the benefit of bargain-hunters like myself.
Take a look at that list and notice how the Blue Oval is woefully underrepresented. Yes, there was the Mercury Marauder. It was a pretty cool car in my mind, but the numbers never held up. Mercury folded at the end of the last decade, but the best Marauder is arguably a Lincoln.
I’m talking about the MKS Ecoboost AWD, which was really just a Taurus SHO with a nicer interior, even more nondescript styling and the sex appeal of control-top hose. It also had a 3.5L twin-turbo V6 making 335 horsepower and 355 lb-ft of torque, channeled through all four wheels. Handling? Not really. Braking? If the Taurus SHO is any indication, don’t expect more than one or two hot laps before you run into problems.
On the other hand, if you like cars that let you rapidly cover long distances in extreme isolation, this is a great choice – and as I mature, I find myself increasingly gravitating towards those cars. For $20,000 CAD (about $18,480), you can get an MKS Ecoboost with 55,000 miles on it. There’s not a ton of daylight between that and the SHO price-wise, but the interior is a little nicer, and you get the THX audio system. On the other hand, the SHO would look nice with police package wheels, e specially in this odd silver/toothpaste-green color scheme.
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The MKS with the 3.5 is a screamer of a sleeper. I got my parents into one and out of their GM product. It's massive and fast and comfortable and quiet - you will not notice you have reached 60 in under four seconds. The lawman will assume you're adjusting your trifocals and let you on past. Handling: It handles better than most CUVs; the D3 platform has effectively evolved into tall and not-quite-tall CUVs; they aren't really sedans. Parked next to a new Escape, eyeballed height difference from the MKS was like 6 inches.
This wrong wheel drive, porky boat is no sport sedan. It's a joke...and one of the nails in Lincoln's coffin.