And Now, The Impaladventure

by Jack Baruth

Published: June 23rd, 2014

The Reader’s Ride features have been a big hit so far at TTAC, so I’m taking it to the next level. To put it mildly.

Tonight, I’ll be driving a 1981 Impala Coupe from Portland, ME to Greenville, IN, a distance of approximately 1,120 miles. The Impala Coupe is the property of our reader “Mark In Maine”, who will be following along in a U-Haul, and it has the following bitchin’ features:

First-facelift B-body box formal coupe styling. None of that fancy-pants aeroback Caprice crap here, son.
3.8 liters of GM V-6 power for great highway fuel economy and exciting hill climbs!
Roll-up windows for safety in case I drive into a swimming pool. Weren’t you worried about that as a kid? I remember being worried about it.
No cruise control, because real men are always in control of their speed.
Possibly no A/C, I’ve been afraid to ask.

This isn’t the oldest GM car I’ve driven cross-country, nor is the farthest distance I’ve driven a Malaise-mobile; that honor goes to my spectacularly star-crossed Fleetwood Talisman adventure three years ago. But this time I’m working against the clock, because I have to be at a new-car press event on in the South on Wednesday.

I’ll keep you all posted, but wish me and Mark luck!

Jack Baruth

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14 of 70 comments

Eggsalad on Jun 23, 2014

You must remove the Cragars and find steelies with taxi-spec dog dishes.

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- Old Man Pants on Jun 23, 2014
  
  "steelies with taxi-spec dog dishes" Always!
  
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- NoGoYo on Jun 23, 2014
  
  @Old Man Pants Someday my dreams of a "cop look" Dippy and Caprice will come true. Why both a Dippy and a Caprice? Why not?
  
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- Raresleeper on Jun 23, 2014
  
  @NoGoYo What's that you say? A Diplomat?! I think I need my ear horn for this one. Well congrats, Sir. You've officially graduated- with HONORS- from The Dreary School of Acquired Tastes. In recognition of your great success, promptly let us know where to send your complimentary jar of Limburger Cheese.
  
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- Luvmyv8 on Jun 23, 2014
  
  @raresleeper Haven't seen a Dippy in some time..... Not my taste either, but cop car to cop car, they did well against the 5.7 Caprice and out performed the 5.8 Crown Vic LTD. The 318 makes me yawn, but the 4 bbl held its own back then. Also, allegedly there were some cop Dippy's built with 360's, though my Mopar history books say no.... but many stories persist of these and they reputed as being very fast..... I could dig a 360 Dippy. Whether it's true or not, it's cake to make your own 360 Dippy. I would, but I'd rather have a top dog 440 Monaco/Royal Monaco/Polara.
  
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- Old Man Pants on Jun 23, 2014
  
  @raresleeper Diplomats in dark cop livery with black meats, black steelies and dog dishes were bad-ass.
  
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- NoGoYo on Jun 23, 2014
  
  @raresleeper The icebox gets it. Fat blackwall tires and wide steelies give the police Dippy a mean look, and the old 318 can easily be replaced by, I dunno, a 408 stroker crate motor. :D
  
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- Firestorm 500 on Jun 24, 2014
  
  @Old Man Pants A yellow Charger taxi cab came past my shop yesterday. It had 20" chrome spoke wheels on it. Not dog-dish hubcaps.
  
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- NoGoYo on Jun 24, 2014
  
  @Firestorm 500 Huh, you'd think Charger cabs would have the black 5 spokes with silver center caps that the majority of police Chargers have.
  
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- Raresleeper on Jun 24, 2014
  
  @Firestorm 500 Dubs, foo.
  
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W. on Jun 23, 2014

Jack! If you need a pit stop in Providence (if you're coming down this way) let me know! I'd love to see this amazing piece of history...

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Ex-x-fire on Jun 23, 2014

Watching Road Kill on you tube is a must if you buy old cars & drive them, they do stuff like buy a car 1,000 miles away (sight unseen)and try to get it home on what's left of their money or do a motor swap in a parts store parking lot.

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Stumpaster on Jun 24, 2014

Damn, I am jealous. You know that washing a car before the trip is bad luck, right?

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- Lorenzo on Jun 25, 2014
  
  You can get away with it if you leave the rear bumper (and license plate) dirty. Besides, on a trip of that length, the car won't be clean for long.
  
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