By on April 2, 2014

Benz traffic stop courtesy www.mirror.co.uk

I drive around 30,000 miles a year and so it is inevitable that I occasionally get stopped for speeding. Thanks to taking “Traffic Safety” schools that allow scofflaws like me to avoid having the infraction appear on my driving record, I have a spotless history: numerous arrests, no convictions.

A few weeks ago I blundered into a small-town speed trap while going 67 mph in a 50 mph zone, ignoring a radar detector signal that I wrongly assumed was false. Throw in the fact that it was at night and that I was in unfamiliar territory meant I absolutely deserved getting pulled over.

Little did I know that the online ticket-beating traffic school I chose to attend had a curriculum written for 10 year olds.

The name of the school and the municipality shall remain anonymous, as my ticket has yet to be officially dismissed. The bizarre course was written at grade-school level, perhaps because I live in California where we give driver’s licenses to anyone who can fog a mirror, a group soon to include undocumented immigrants.

Here are a few of the gems of knowledge I gleaned from this primer:

  • Driving an automobile has been a way of life since the automobile was invented in the early 1900’s.
  • Driving in reverse presents its own risks and dangers. In fact, statistics point out that backing up accounts for almost 25% to 30% of road accidents across the country.
  • All cars in the United States should head towards their destination on the right side of the road.
  • Sidewalks are paved areas on the side of the road reserved ONLY for pedestrians. You must never drive on the sidewalk unless when entering a driveway or a street alley.
  • Passing is any driving maneuver where you pass ahead of the vehicle in front of you. This is a very useful and common technique if you are traveling at a faster speed than the car ahead of you.
  • If you have looked into a cars speedometer, you will notice that many are capable of going well beyond 100 mph. Car manufacturers certainly drum up the maximum speed when advertising new vehicles. Sometimes, this is even the main selling point of a car.
  • Highways are public roads which generally connect major cities with other suburban and rural destinations. They transport many people and vehicles to their designations quickly…Freeways are larger roads, which are characterized by having multiple lanes and they allow faster driving. In fact, large freeways can have as many as 16 lanes!

See Dick drive. Drive, Dick, drive!

traffic school courtesy trafficschool.com

The course also inexplicably threw in passages on each page from brainyquote.com, such as:

  • “Every politician should have been born an orphan and remain a bachelor.”
    - Lady Bird Johnson

I highly doubt the target audience understood any of them.

A few years ago I was caught speeding in a city where they required your penance to be eight hours in a classroom with an instructor. Our teacher was hilarious, opening by making the point that had we been paying attention, we would be better drivers and would have spotted the cop before he spotted us. He cited real world situations and managed to hold our attention all day.

This worthless class cost me $199 and four hours of my life that I can never get back. Next time I just might take a live course again instead of an on-line version.

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179 Comments on “The World’s Dumbest Traffic School...”


  • avatar
    thelaine

    What’s an “undocumented imm…,” oh, right.

    • 0 avatar

      > What’s an “undocumented imm…,” oh, right.

      Yeah, author meant the darkies.

      • 0 avatar
        Rasputin

        “Yeah, author meant the darkies.”
        Ever notice that is always the Lefties that have skin color on the mind?

        • 0 avatar
          thelaine

          Yes.

        • 0 avatar

          > Ever notice that is always the Lefties that have skin color on the mind?

          Sure, but the real murican alternate strategy of nothing on the mind has its own drawbacks.

          • 0 avatar
            bryanska

            You don’t need to gravitate toward the extreme ends.

          • 0 avatar

            > You don’t need to gravitate toward the extreme ends.

            Everything up to now has been descriptive, not prescriptive. It’s not hard to figure out what else those thinking “illegals” have on the grill.

          • 0 avatar
            beefmalone

            “Illegal aliens” is the correct legal term. Sorry if it isn’t compassionate enough for you.

          • 0 avatar
            stuki

            Amongst those above such pettiness, skin color, in fact, is the equivalent of nothing.

        • 0 avatar
          guevera

          “Yeah, author meant the darkies.”
          Ever notice that is always the Lefties that have skin color on the mind?

          I (half-) jokingly identify myself as somewhere to the left of Che.

          My opposition to illegal immigration is almost entirely because it’s a subsidy to the big business and the affluent at the expense of the working class. Only color that matters in that equation is green.

          And I took the first guy’s comment as calling out the author’s use of the ‘undocumented’ euphemism for illegal. The manipulation of language in service of political ends is a particularly vile practice, especially since it’s so often successful.

          • 0 avatar
            thelaine

            That was it exactly guevara, not a reference to the skin color of my family or the projections of others.

          • 0 avatar

            > My opposition to illegal immigration is almost entirely because it’s a subsidy to the big business and the affluent at the expense of the working class. Only color that matters in that equation is green.

            Just pointing out that when most people talk about “the illegals” they’re not referring to systemic faults in the underlying economics.

          • 0 avatar
            thelaine

            So say you. Not according to my friends in the construction trades.

          • 0 avatar
            chevron

            ” they’re not referring to systemic faults in the underlying economics.”

            Such as the law of supply and demand which says that any shortage of law abiding labor is only relevant to the prevailing wages and that there is a wage at which supply of law abiding labor would meet demand?

            Or the one stating that as wages rise, the labor will be substituted with increased mechanization to allow more work per man-hour, while demanding a higher caliber of worker?

          • 0 avatar

            @guevera

            +100

            According to a political website, I fall somewhere between Gandhi and Nelson Mandala on the political spectrum. I have voted democratic in presidential elections from McGovern through Obama, with the exception of 1980 ,when I voted for John Anderson.

            I oppose illegal (and mass-) immigration for guevera’s reasons, as well as because moving millions people from low per capita environmental footprint countries to the land of the highest per capita footprint among major industrialized nations is a lose-lose for the planet.

            Using the term “undocumented” is a way of pretending there’s nothing wrong with illegal immigration.

            And by the way, the notion that Pres O is deporting more illegal immigrants than any president ever is a bunch of hooey perpetuated by the mainstream liberal media (and yes, I consider myself a liberal). The LAT finally got it right
            http://tinyurl.com/deporterinchiefnot

            Having said all that, other than the euphemism, this is a great post.

          • 0 avatar
            stuki

            And I’m supposed to be some sort of right wing extremist (believer in God, above replacement rate non aborted fertility, and other scary, insensitive stuff), and have no problems with immigration whatsoever.

            If nothing else, a century or more of near universal publicly funded indoctrination sure has succeeded in splitting the majority of drones into well defined, hence easier to control, partisan buckets.

          • 0 avatar

            Again, guevera’s point about political euphemisms is apropos but perhaps not in the way intended.

            In the aftermath of the ban on open bigotry, it’s only natural that new terms were necessary to dog-whistle to the like-minded.

            For example, if we’re to take this issue at face value, those against free immigration would unfailingly treat its equal counterpart in free (market) trade with equal contempt. Unless of course rubbing elbows with those from afar is somehow undesirable in contrast to using the products they make.

          • 0 avatar

            > And I’m supposed to be some sort of right wing extremist (believer in God, above replacement rate non aborted fertility, and other scary, insensitive stuff), and have no problems with immigration whatsoever.

            Props for consistency in this regard even if it means a commensurate wage cut.

          • 0 avatar
            stuki

            “Props for consistency in this regard even if it means a commensurate wage cut.”

            I’m not too worried. Here in right side up land, more people competing for my services tend influence my wages the other way.

          • 0 avatar
            28-Cars-Later

            “My opposition to illegal immigration is almost entirely because it’s a subsidy to the big business and the affluent at the expense of the working class.”

            Immigration is partially about the falling birth rate.

            “The U.S. fertility rate fell to another record low in 2012, with 63.0 births per 1,000 women ages 15 to 44 years old, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. That’s down slightly from the previous low of 63.2 in 2011.

            It marked the fifth year in a row the U.S. birth rate has declined, and the lowest rate on record since the government started tracking the fertility rate in 1909. In 2007, the rate was 69.3.

            Falling birth rates can be considered a challenge to future economic growth and the labor pool.”

            http://money.cnn.com/2013/09/06/news/economy/birth-rate-low/

        • 0 avatar

          “Ever notice that is always the Lefties that have skin color on the mind?”

          No, it never occurred to me that racism was the sole province of a particular ideological position or political party.

          Back to the cars, please?

          • 0 avatar

            > No, it never occurred to me that racism was the sole province of a particular ideological position or political party.

            I do wonder what happened to the old-fashioned racists who didn’t shirk away from their opinions not many years ago. It’s a bit too fantastic to believe they all vanished off the face of the earth.

          • 0 avatar
            Lou_BC

            28-Cars-Later – “Falling birth rates can be considered a challenge to future economic growth and the labor pool.”

            We should then fornicate our way to economic good times……..

            Politicians do that to us all of the time and so far it hasn’t worked…….

            and its only a pain in the ass until you get used to it.

          • 0 avatar
            28-Cars-Later

            No argument here.

        • 0 avatar
          OneAlpha

          If you want to know what The Left is up to, just pay attention to what they accuse their political enemies of.

      • 0 avatar
        Jeff Weimer

        Oh Gawd. Put a sock in it.

        • 0 avatar
          Sigivald

          +1.

        • 0 avatar
          RHD

          +10

        • 0 avatar
          darkwing

          Seriously.

          And people, don’t feed the trolls! Particularly this poor excuse for one.

          • 0 avatar

            > And people, don’t feed the trolls! Particularly this poor excuse for one.

            Unsurprisingly trite replies from those who never seem to post anything remotely interesting or worthwhile.

          • 0 avatar

            btw, this reminds of this same thing from yesterday:

            http://www.thetruthaboutcars.com/2014/03/canadian-toyota-plants-to-hold-union-vote-as-early-as-next-week/#comment-3034377

            I don’t expect you answer on this topic here any more than last time.

          • 0 avatar
            darkwing

            You seem to be confusing frequency with content.

            I’m still not sure why you think you deserve to be taken seriously after spending all that time and effort making multiple, slightly unhinged, racist outbursts, but I’ll let you ponder that one on your own.

            Keep practicing. The Touré bit is pretty played out, but I guess we all have to start somewhere.

          • 0 avatar

            > You seem to be confusing frequency with content.

            I do wonder how those who keep using that word while evidently only shiitposting take themselves seriously.

            > I’m still not sure why you think you deserve to be taken seriously after spending all that time and effort making multiple, slightly unhinged, racist outbursts, but I’ll let you ponder that one on your own.

            The readers can decide for themselves the innuendo, in your own words:

            http://www.thetruthaboutcars.com/2014/01/president-obama-promises-tougher-truck-mpg-standards-more-renewables/#comment-2729378

            In contrast, perhaps you can provide some, or any, content to substance your own accusations. In fact, feel free to address anything above or elsewhere with some of this “content” you presume to wield. At this point it’s akin to ufos or the loch ness monster.

        • 0 avatar
          thelaine

          +1

      • 0 avatar
        APaGttH

        Standards and practices?

        What are, standards and practices?

        video.adultswim.com/aqua-teen-hunger-force/standards-and-practices.html

      • 0 avatar
        Lie2me

        ” > What’s an “undocumented imm…,” oh, right.

        Yeah, author meant the darkies.’

        Define “dark”

    • 0 avatar
      OneAlpha

      Personally, I prefer the term “Capital-T Trespasser” myself.

      Much more accurate, with no whiff of euphemism.

  • avatar
    sproc

    As someone who has been pulled over for driving on a sidewalk (hey, it looked like a street!), I’m clearly in the target audience for this class.

    • 0 avatar
      Kyree S. Williams

      Nice!

    • 0 avatar
      Lorenzo

      Thank you for addressing the topic of this post. It took me a lot of scrolling to get here, so could you flesh out this sidewalk-that-looked-like-a-road incident? How might a driving school help you avoid this mistake in the future?

    • 0 avatar
      JimC2

      I used to drive on the sidewalk, although only as necessary, when I delivered newspapers from my car (door-to-door and in the wee hours of the morning). When I was getting ready for some time off, I took one of my friends around the route one or two nights so that he’d be able to fill in for me. The sidewalk thing really woke him up, ha ha.

  • avatar
    Onus

    Just to totally throw this school on its head. One place in the us drives on the left.

    • 0 avatar
      ClutchCarGo

      I doubt that the authors have spent much time in the US Virgin Islands, and even less for the users of the material, so it’s pretty much a moot point.

    • 0 avatar
      Battles

      Every day’s a school day.
      Do they have RHD or LHD cars in BVI?

      • 0 avatar
        ClutchCarGo

        I’m not sure about the BVIs, but the cars in the USVIs had the driver in the left seat but drove in the left lane. The locals joked that it made it easy to stop and talk to foot-bound friends on the side of the road.

      • 0 avatar
        Onus

        In the US part. LHD cars as FMVSS applies. Though there is no requirement that car be LHD 99% are that comply with FMVSS. You can order a Jeep in RHD for postal carriers.

        It would appear the rest of the Carribien uses LHD American cars as well from what i can find.

  • avatar
    brenschluss

    Some people simply need to realize that it’s in everyone’s best interest if they aren’t allowed to do or touch anything.

  • avatar
    bombdoc

    Had to go to one of these also, in Florida….was called the comedy driving school…stand up comics doing driving school…pain in the ass but tolerable

  • avatar
    Dan

    Traffic school has nothing to do with either traffic or school and if you expected it to you were born yesterday. It’s a politically connected feeder business that eats off of the proceeds of the highway robbery industry.

    “This worthless class [that] cost me $199 …” was the point, the whole point, and nothing but the point.

    • 0 avatar
      raph

      Indeed, I remember a friend recommending a driving school in my younger years. She said no problem, I paid with a check and the instructor said “have a nice day”. Being male and showing up on Saturday I needed to pay in cash and had to sit through the entire class which consisted of at least four hours of those old films featuring dead people footage.

      It was then I realized this was nothing more than an additional fine and what amounted to a brief bit of incarceration.

  • avatar
    Jonathan H.

    Traffic school is about the local governments getting their money while making you feel like you got away with something. It doesn’t have anything to do with driver education or correcting behavior.

    • 0 avatar
      KixStart

      Considering the one I attended (which was free) allowed me to avoid the fine, it’s hard to see how it was all about “local governments getting their money.”

      • 0 avatar
        Jonathan H.

        You paid no fine or court costs? That’s not how it works around these parts.

        • 0 avatar
          mnm4ever

          In Florida if you elect to take traffic school then you don’t have to pay the ticket, you only pay court costs and a fee for electing school. Of course the “court costs” are $200 or so, about the same as the ticket. And the fee for the privilege of taking school is another $15 or so. PLUS the cost of the school. So overall it costs more to take the class, but the actual class is fairly cheap (though not free), and no points is nice too. It still shows on your record though, but I believe that’s only the state’s “internal” record, not the one that insurance companies see. And they limit you to 1 class per year and only 5 school elections in a lifetime.

          I know way too much about the subject. In my younger days I may have fractured a traffic law or two.

          • 0 avatar

            In Massachusetts, the class costs $200 and 8 hrs of your time, and if you have three “surchargeable events” within a two year period, you have to take it or you lose your license. (A friend had two accidents at less than 5mph, and then was nailed for a u-turn.)

  • avatar
    sproc

    Reminded me of this under appreciated 80′s classic and testament to the brilliance of the Murray family (not to mention Jennifer Tilly in her prime):

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Moving_Violations

    • 0 avatar
      JimC2

      Ah, I remember this movie- I think I saw it in the theaters with my friends for what would have had to be somebody’s birthday party. Not quite age-appropriate for our group, but we laughed at the physical comedy–one of the bad drivers crashes through a wall, interrupting a funeral, and knocks the casket out the window and into the freshly dug grave–hilarious stuff to us 11-year-olds.

  • avatar
    dal20402

    Many drivers on the road clearly need instruction at this level.

    “Don’t hit things” would be a very good lesson topic.

  • avatar
    JMII

    Most people drive at a 5th grade level so this class sounds very complicated and way over their heads.

    • 0 avatar
      Lie2me

      How many 5th graders that you know drive?

      • 0 avatar
        Lorenzo

        I’ve seen a bunch of 5th graders at bumper car rides, and they actually try to avoid bumping other cars so they can make as many circuits around the course as possible. So JMII must be mistaken – he must mean drive like toddlers in their Big Wheels. Those little punks aim for your legs!

  • avatar
    walleyeman57

    As a fellow 30K plus driver I can relate.

    I have not had a ticket in 5 years-since I stopped using my radar detector. When we purchased our Sienna something in the electronics made my trusty Passport go off constantly. Stopped using it-paid more attention-no tickets.

    I do miss it just for this situation though, small towns can be speed traps-it is a major revenue generator for them.

  • avatar
    Mud

    Good write-up Virgil.
    It underscored my opinion that this is all about revenue, not education.

    • 0 avatar
      Luke42

      Yeah, one of these online courses finally helped me realize the traffic enforcement isn’t about justice or safety.

      Of course, it was Starke County FL, too. The terms in the brochure were so ludicrous that I couldn’t hang on to the notion that it was about anything other than revenue. And the online course wasn’t much better.

      I stopped getting tickets, too, once I realized what the issue was. Having the right model makes it easier to predict events.

      Its a damn shame, too. I respected the police a lot more before this realization.

  • avatar
    mnm4ever

    $199??? For JUST the class, or including the fine?

    We have online traffic school in Florida, it costs under $50, I think some are as low as $35 if you can wait for them to mail you the certificate or something. $200 is highway robbery. :) Literally. Get it?? :)

    • 0 avatar
      Dingleberrypiez_Returns

      This didn’t add up for me either. I’m in CA and I think the online class was like $30-40. You def don’t have to take it in person, and I didn’t think anyone did anymore. Even those classes weren’t two bills.

  • avatar
    niky

    “Always remember, the green light means that you can move forward, the red light means stop, and the yellow light means ‘get ready to slam your brakes at the very last moment causing a five car pile-up when the light turns red.’”

    • 0 avatar
      sproc

      In my neck of the woods, yellow light means “slam on the brakes NOW, because we’re about to take your picture.”

    • 0 avatar
      ClutchCarGo

      Around here the understanding is that red means stop, green means go and yellow means go faster.

      • 0 avatar
        tankinbeans

        In my area green means go, yellow means speed up, red means FLOOR IT.

        It’s rather hilarious to watch.

        • 0 avatar
          LALoser

          We have the “three car rule” akin to the five second rule…three cars still go through when light turns red.

          • 0 avatar
            WhiskerDaVinci

            It seems really common at two specific intersections in Salt Lake City, where I live. Nowhere else do so many drivers making a protected left run the red for their turn lane. Coincidentally, those two intersections have some of the highest rates for cars getting pegged by our light rail system, which runs between the two directions of traffic.

            Nowhere else in the city do I see so many cars trying to force their way through like that.

          • 0 avatar
            dal20402

            Sounds like you need some red light cameras.

            This drives me crazy. Intersections are by far the most dangerous places we drive, and people really should take red lights seriously.

          • 0 avatar
            Lorenzo

            Traffic engineers put in a 3-second delay before the cross traffic gets a green light to reduce accidents, and it worked – as long as people didn’t know about it. I’ll bet a lot of people still don’t know about it, but they’re just following “prevailing local practice”, which is to make full use of those three seconds while the cross traffic is waiting for the green.

          • 0 avatar
            redav

            SLC is the worst I’ve seen for red light runners. I believe it is due to so few dedicated left turn lanes and protected left turn cycles. Without those, people pull into the intersection and go after the light turns yellow/red. Once they develop the habit of trying to beat yellow/red lights.

            I noticed a similar effect of bad road design leading to bad driving practices when I lived in Louisiana. There, it wasn’t red lights so much as turning in front of oncoming vehicles. The roads were so poorly designed that during commuting times, if you didn’t constantly risk an accident, you could not get where you were going. Unfortunately, even when the traffic wasn’t heavy, the people drove the same way.

        • 0 avatar
          greaseyknight

          I’ve learned thats how it is here in Wisconsin, been guilty of it myself a couple times. The reason, I think, is the Yellows are longer here than on the west coast.

    • 0 avatar
      CoreyDL

      Yellow means speed up a lil bit!

  • avatar
    tankinbeans

    “Turn off your high-beams when approaching oncoming traffic, clear your headlights after a snowstorm, and that little lever to the left of the wheel operates blinking lights. Push toward the floor to go right, and push toward the windshield to go left. Other drivers will appreciate your cooperation.”

  • avatar
    RogerB34

    The writer is a habitual speeder.
    Like those that drive past my house in the morning going 50 in a 25 mph residential area.
    City placed several stop lights on a busy 4 lane residential area road on timed red lights for control because most speed. Unnecessary and annoying.
    Nail the speeders.
    Try a current GPS which will show speed limits.

    • 0 avatar
      bikegoesbaa

      Seems like it would be much easier and more practical to just raise the speed limit on that road to 50 mph, no?

      • 0 avatar
        dal20402

        Do you want the speed limit to be 50 mph on your residential street?

        25 mph here, but lots of people used to ignore it and go faster. The city installed speed humps to help discourage that. It’s entertaining watching the drivers who aren’t paying attention crash into the speed humps at 40 mph. Sometimes they get air; serves them right.

      • 0 avatar
        CRConrad

        That may have been the least thought-through post I ever saw here. So, if everybody goes 200 in stead of 25, let’s just raise the limit to 200, is that what you’re saying?

        Did it really never occur to you that there might have been *a reason* the limit was set to 25 in the first place? Like, the OP’s “drive past my house in the morning going 50 in a 25 mph residential area” makes it sound almost, how to put this… You know, like this was perhaps *a residential area*? With children and little old ladies crossing the street on their way to school and their crocheting course at the local community center, respectively?

        But if people ignore the speed limit, let’s just raise it… Hey, I know how to eliminate murder and robberies, to: Let’s just make it legal to kill people, and to take all their stuff!

        Sheesh.

        • 0 avatar
          redav

          Such reasoning won’t get far on a car site. Instead, the standard reply will be how going faster is safer and the speed limit should be at the 85% percentile.

          Unfortunately, such viewpoints ignore the fact that it is desirable for everyone to drive the same speed and that drivers will underestimate the risks (and so drive faster) when they don’t know all the risks. While speed limits should not be unnecessarily low, they do communicate such risks and can serve to alert drivers.

    • 0 avatar

      There’s a difference between speeding on the highway and doubling the speed limit through a residential area.

      • 0 avatar
        geeber

        Stop using logic and real-world facts. It’s easier to pretend that exceeding the speed limit on every kind of road automatically makes one death on wheels.

  • avatar

    Dude, $199? You overpaid. My last one was like 60 bucks for a ticket from a certain podunk jurisdiction slightly southern and inland that contains great driving roads.

  • avatar
    seth1065

    In NJ we are a poor state we need the money so tickets and court cost is several hundred bucks per ticket. Traffic school might save you some ins cost but does not get your ticket dismissed

    • 0 avatar
      Lorenzo

      Nice try, Seth.

      “The median household income in New Jersey is the second highest in the country, according to new Census numbers released on Tuesday, Dec. 17. New Jersey ranks number two with a median household income of $71,637, according to the latest 2008-2012 American Community Survey estimate.”

      • 0 avatar
        redav

        I think he was referring to the state’s finances, not the income of its residents. “Cash-strapped” would be a better description than “poor.”

        • 0 avatar
          Lorenzo

          Given the taxable pool, the government shouldn’t be “cash-strapped”. The fact is, government in NJ (and most other places) has a spending problem.

  • avatar
    Zackman

    Your problem is obvious, at least from the photo – you’re driving a G-Wagen. Not a good vehicle to get caught in. You paid $199.00? Is that all? In that car, you should have been hit for $500.00 at least.

    Probably the most expensive vehicle in the whole town!

    • 0 avatar
      brenschluss

      The photo was probably chosen in part to make cops look like knock-kneed cake-eaters, and it did work in that sense. The Russian mob minivan just makes it worth the photo-op.

      It’s probably worth mentioning, at least so they can say that someone swallowed the bait, that if you’re gonna tell me you’re the one protecting me from physically violent people, I’d like to have some sense that you’re able to do so. Maybe she’s got a mean hip toss, but she looks like she’s closer to the hospital than the gym.

    • 0 avatar
      CoreyDL

      Yes he got pulled over and had a friend drive along and take a photo. x.x

      In other news, I really don’t get the appeal of matte paint. Just makes a very expensive car look primered/ghetto.

  • avatar
    nvdw

    “If you have looked into a cars speedometer, you will notice that many are capable of going well beyond 100 mph.”

    When I was well under 10, I did believe my dad’s 1984 Golf Diesel could do 120 mph. One soon learns that speedos lie.

    “Car manufacturers certainly drum up the maximum speed when advertising new vehicles. Sometimes, this is even the main selling point of a car.”

    Do they?

    Or is the general stupidity of it all an incentive never to speed again, so you won’t have to attend this load of nonsense?

  • avatar
    Russycle

    I went to driving school in California many years ago to get out of a ticket. It was lead by an off duty Highway Patrol officer who managed to make it reasonably interesting and actually taught us a few things. One takeaway: Instead of braking when the car in front of you hits his brakes, scan a couple cars ahead and get off the gas when you see brake lights. Unless you’re in heavy stop-and-go traffic, you’ll almost never have to hit your brakes on the highway. Probably saved me a few brake jobs over the decades. Bonus: Playing this game means you won’t be tailgating.

    • 0 avatar
      Brian E

      It also helps reduce unnecessary traffic jams. When you hit the brakes, it causes a ripple of cars behind you to also hit the brakes and all of a sudden everyone is slowing down way more than they need to. Look ahead, slow down by letting off the accelerator intelligently and traffic will flow.

    • 0 avatar
      redav

      The cause for traffic backups is due mostly to people not following at the proper distance. Due to lost time for reactions, what the car in front of you does must be more extreme (brake harder, accelerate faster) to maintain traffic flow. There is a critical point where those reactions will become severe enough that they become exaggerated for everyone behind you. That’s why traffic can come to a complete stop on a road where there is no obstacle causing it. So, maintaining proper following distance and scanning ahead to reduce reaction time loss is definitely something more people should do.

  • avatar
    stuki

    If people actually learned something, that would only result in less recidivism, meaning less money for the retired cops and other well connecteds that stand to gain from people being forced to waste their time on this nonsense.

    We live in a progressive era. Meaning, an era where the only allowable goal for all conduct, is to shower gold and glory on well connected officials and their favorite sycophants. Anything else is, by now in the fairly advanced stage, of being outlawed.

    • 0 avatar
      Hillman

      Um, most people know what got them the ticket in the first place. Don’t go 15 over the speed limit, stop at red lights etc. the problem is most people just don’t care and accept a ticket every few years. It is like detention as a kid, you know the words that you are copying but the point is that you suffer for a few hours.

  • avatar
    SoCalMikester

    If the OP paid $200 for the online traffic school portion alone, they got hosed, big time. I remember several years ago choosing to take one, and it only cost $25.

    just by googling “cheap online traffic schools” i come up with some as low as $10

  • avatar
    SoCalMikester

    for the record- the stock photo is an LA county sheriffs deputy. they generally dont like menial tasks like giving out speeding tickets unless theyre ordered to.

  • avatar
    Molotovio

    undocumented doesn’t mean ignorant or that doesn’t understand English. In fact there tons of undocumented immigrants from Canada en the US.
    As for the 10 year old level, these things are meant for 16 years old, what do you expect. Reading the NM driver’s manual says
    “Starting
    Check the vehicle owner’s manual for how to best start the vehicle.”

    Anyhow, the driver license should be that something that allows you to drive, get insurance etc not for identification.

    • 0 avatar
      raresleeper

      Yup.

      They want your greenbacks, yet will treat you like a child in the process.

      They figure if you were “stupid” enough to commit an infraction- you’re just plain… well… stupid.

  • avatar
    Geekcarlover

    I chose the class over a ticket here in Florida a few years ago. Price of each was about the same, but I finally had a 6+ year record of no tickets, and didn’t want the bump in my insurance.
    When leaving, someone from the class hit a parked State Trooper’s car. He didn’t have a license and his girlfriend hadn’t given him permission to take her car. I guess gearing it towards the dumbest possible student may make sense.

  • avatar
    jimbob457

    You can actually have a fairly decent remedial driving school. First you teach defensive driving techniques using some illustrative film clips. Next you show a short gross out film known colloquially as “Krispy Kritters”. This combo works at a visceral level even if you speak English as a third language. Adding a little coffee and stand up comedy to round things out is probably not too bad an idea.

    Word to the wise. Unless your ticket is from a known speed trap, first hire a cheap lawyer to see if your traffic cop makes your court date. If he does, then then your lawyer can file a motion for delay so you will have time to arrange for traffic school and you can waste your precious $199 and four personal hours.

  • avatar
    raresleeper

    I am presuming this was a small town?

    The smaller the town, the whackier the consequences may be. (Watch out for the local Justice of the Peace… bring forth the Twilight Zone Theme Song…)

    I still remember a certain individual driving around a small town (featured on a television show which has questionable credibility) in a SVT Raptor with the “noisy exhaust switch” enabled. The town’s Officer Dan kindly told him to get the hell out of town. And while this may have been staged, circumstances like this do happen on occasion- the smaller the town, the more that the “boys in blue”- or more notably, the town’s “good ole’ boy” judiciary branch- rule with an iron fist.

    I’ve been pulled over in The City of St. Louis doing everything short of commiting murder and been told to “have a nice day” and take my as$ home.

    I’ve also been through small towns with populations of >100 and due to having one headlight out, I was treated as if I were featured on “Murrica’s” Most Wanted.

    Here in Missouri, residents have just won a major case banning red light cameras. It was actually quite humurous, because the camera would take said picture, but could never get a clear shot of your mug (face). It could, however, see your license plate, clear as day.

    Many people would fight these tickets. And most civilians won, arguing the classic “it wasn’t me” debate, with little effort on their part, but yet achieving great success.

    Going forward, be ready to pay huge money and jump through all sorts of hoops no matter what happens, how large or how small of an infraction.

    The local governments are like investors- you gotta keep them happy, and more money is the way to do it.

    Now keep speeding and making them rich, why don’t ya.

    By the way, when is a TTAC commenter going to post their real life experience similiar to that of the 1991 Chevy Chase/Dan Akroyd hit “Nothing But Trouble”?

  • avatar
    ChesterChi

    Or you could just drive (speed limit + 5) and never get stopped for speeding again. It has worked for me. But nooooo, that would be too easy.

  • avatar
    DavidB

    +1 CC

    Why not just drive the speed limit or +5 and save the fast driving for the track? I drive KS interstates and +9 (that’s 84mph) gets one from point A to point B fast enough. To the author: Driving 30K miles per year, I understand the need to save time, but have you done the calculations of your time spent in “traffic school” and the time it takes you to work to earn the money to buy off your tickets? Go +5 in town, +9 on the interstate (when conditions allow) and relax. Less stress on your ride, too.

  • avatar

    It was well worth the wait until this thread filled with accusations that the cops are *only* in it for the money to reiterate that most folks are unaware of the greater social forces at play:

    http://www.thetruthaboutcars.com/2014/03/fu-no-wait-the-phrase-im-looking-for-is-thank-the-police/#comment-2986697

    http://www.thetruthaboutcars.com/2014/03/fu-no-wait-the-phrase-im-looking-for-is-thank-the-police/#comment-2986081

    IOW, cops use traffic stops in large part to get around rights issues when citizens demand that they act “tough on crime”. Something to ponder next time those fairly mutually exclusive demands enter your head.

    The resulting traffic school or whatnot is just peripheral collateral damage.

  • avatar
    CRConrad

    The World’s Dumbest Traffic School-cop out. Yeah, poor mr Whiny Multiple-Offender Speeding Man, you’re right: You shouldn’t have to go to that dumb school any more. You should have to go to PRISON so you bleeding well learn to STOP DOING THAT.

    Kreindler, Baruth, whoever the editors around these parts are nowadays: At least one of you presumably has this joker’s contact data. Are you quite *sure* you don’t have a legal obligation to provide that to the relevant law enforcement authorities, given that he has just publicly confessed to being a Multiple-Offender Speeding Man who has hitherto managed to avoid his ever-more-obviously rightful punishment?

    Even if you’re sure you have no such legal obligation, one could well argue that you have a moral one. (I’m not quite sure, but I think I’d say you do.) Which means it was perhaps not quite a stroke of editorial genius to publish this bozo’s bragging about his cynical gaming of the system.

    • 0 avatar
      redav

      No, no one has a moral responsibility to tattle on someone when they do not have actual evidence. (Braggadocios is not evidence.) Rather, Derek/Jack just need to be mindful of whose articles they chose to print and what type of content they put on the site.

      • 0 avatar
        CRConrad

        “Tattle”? “TATTLE”?!?

        WTF do you think this was; a four-year-old bragging about the cookies he snuck from the jar when (he thought) Mom wasn’t watching? That’s the kind of situation where the word “tattle” would be appropriate. (And according to good buddy OneAlpha here, we’re into being sticklers for the correct word today.)

        This Virgin Hitler, or whatever his handle was, could have KILLED people. I’m fairly sure there are many jurisdictions — perhaps even in your own fine country — where one has not only a moral but actually a legal obligation to report to the police if someone confesses to homicide.

        And since this self-confessed multiple offender’s crimes very well *could* have become at least vehicular manslaughter, I’d say he’s a lot closer to deserve being _reported_, than anything even remotely like being unfairly “tattled” on.

        • 0 avatar
          brenschluss

          Not only do they not have any obligation, moral or legal, to report some minor unspecified traffic violations that someone claims to have in their past, there would be nothing to prosecute if they did. Is this not obvious?

          I exceeded the speed limit the way to work today, several times. Come find me, coppers. I passed at least 3 of you while performing the horrible lawbreaking act of 7MPH over, how I’ve avoided prison I have no idea.

          Further, I’m pretty sure any agency that receives your report of someone saying on the internet that they have sped at times in the past will laugh at you.

        • 0 avatar
          geeber

          Wow, I regularly cruise along at 75 mph on the Pennsylvania Turnpike, as are most other drivers. The speed limit is 65 mph. Yet, no one gets killed on these trips.

          It’s amazing that anyone, in 2014, is still clueless enough to believe that every speed limit is set at a realistic level, and that all people who speed are a mortal threat on every type of road.

          (I’m guessing that CRConrad also believes that the Easter Bunny will be visiting his house to leave candy later this month.)

          I think CRConrad needs to spend less time blathering on this site and more time learning about traffic safety.

          • 0 avatar
            brenschluss

            75 in a 65? You must be a PSYCHOPATH!

          • 0 avatar
            geeber

            I know – it’s terrible! I’m practically the local Ted Bundy. But then, so is practically everyone else driving on the Turnpike when I am! It’s downright awful!

    • 0 avatar
      OneAlpha

      How many times do I have to say this?

      Authority is the right to rule without the consent of the governed, and no human being rightfully has that kind of power.

      A law is only Just if it conforms to the principle of No Harm No Foul – As long as no one got physically hurt, and nothing got damaged or stolen, then there’s no problem.

      Human beings wield POWER, not AUTHORITY. Police, judges and government officials are often erroneously referred to as “authorities,” but that term is grossly incorrect, for the above reason.

      Speed limits exist outside the bounds of No Harm No Foul, so they are unjust laws, and The State has no right to enforce an unjust law.

      • 0 avatar
        CRConrad

        So forgive the heck outta me for not having used the word law enforcement AGENCIES, then.

        The rest of your wibble-weedle is just so much Randroid blither-blather. Out here in the real world where most of us live, it doesn’t work that way. Sorry if that disappoints you. You can choose to go on believing that drivel is right and the world is wrong, or to face reality.

        All the same to me.

        • 0 avatar
          OneAlpha

          “Agencies” is fine – that word’s accurate, at least.

          But yes, I believe in drivel.

          Drivel such as the idea that The State is an extremely dangerous entity and should be kept on as short a leash as possible.

          Drivel such as the idea that I’m a free individual with rights, and that arbitrary government power is an injustice.

          Drivel such as the concept that the The State shouldn’t be allowed to codify into law, and then enforce, literally any insane notion that flashes across its brutish field of view.

    • 0 avatar
      brenschluss

      Yeah, that absolute MANIAC, going 67 in a 50, probably performing that most dangerous of maneuvers, driving in a straight line! Prison is too good for these people, they should be SHOT!

      • 0 avatar
        brenschluss

        I mean Christ HE COULD HAVE KILLED SOMEONE!

      • 0 avatar
        CRConrad

        Why, was this you — or how do you know so exactly that that and ONLY that was what he did, ALL of those times? He says “67-in-a-fifty” was what he did THIS time; you think he’d volunteer up any of his most egregious stunts? Where did he write that he DIDN’T EVER go 90 in a 25, swerving around commuters like they were slalom markers?

        Most of the times, it was probably his sheer bloody luck that he managed to slow down to *juuust* below the mandatory-slammer limit before they got the radar on him. So heck yeah, if he gets another raft of courses he apparently learns nothing from (as witnessed by the fact that he keeps doing it), he will have accumulated enough karma that I for one sure won’t cry when the father of the next little girl he runs over blows his brains (if any) out.

        You gotta problem with that, spell out exactly what it is.

        • 0 avatar
          brenschluss

          Yeah, my problem with that is that you made it all up.

          • 0 avatar
            CRConrad

            “IF he gets…”; a hypothetical. If he doesn’t, then there’ll be no incensed father to blow his br– the contents of his head out, all for the better.

            So, DO you think he’d volunteer up any worse if he had done worse, and where DID he write that was the worst he did?

            Sorry if I’m stupid, but I don’t know how to discuss hypotheticals without making them up. How do you do that?

          • 0 avatar
            brenschluss

            Your hypothetical situation was stupid. He said he drives a lot, so it’s inevitable that he will exceed the speed limit sometimes. If you can’t fathom this, it’s your problem, since you’re apparently one of *very few* who are able to obey all speed limits at all times, without exception. Extrapolating that he probably would “go 90 in a 25, swerving around commuters like they were slalom markers” because he didn’t specifically deny doing so is also stupid.

            The entire ridiculous situation you created in your head is stupid. He probably drives like a normal person.

          • 0 avatar
            geeber

            You might find it helpful to learn what a “hypothetical” situation is and how to use it. Your post does not lay out hypothetical situations. You make several accusations about the author – basically, accusing him of speeding all the time:

            “He says “67-in-a-fifty” was what he did THIS time; you think he’d volunteer up any of his most egregious stunts? Where did he write that he DIDN’T EVER go 90 in a 25, swerving around commuters like they were slalom markers?”

            That is not a “hypothetical” situation. That is an accusation. You are accusing him of speeding, and not telling us about how often he did, and by how much.

            He admitted to going 60 mph in the 57 mph zone. An “offense” that has been committed by virtually everyone – including, I’d wager, even you.

            So, under your “hypothetical” situation, since everyone who exceeds a speed limit by 3 mph is a maniac who also drives 90 mph in the 25 mph zone, we can determine that you’ve therefore driven 90 mph in the 25 mph zone. You just aren’t telling us about it. Aren’t you ashamed?

          • 0 avatar
            CRConrad

            @brenschluss: “He probably drives like a normal person.”

            Heck, I know everybody drives over the limit *sometimes*. That “7 (or 9) miles over” that several posters have mentioned — sure, that’s what I do too. I didn’t mean to give the impression I’m Grandma Lieschen, hanging from the wheel to pull myself up enough to see over it and doing twenty-under in the left lane just to “slow down those maniacs a little”… I’ve got nabbed for speeding at least twice. Thing is, I got a fine last year (or, wait, year before last?), and at least one oral warning — perhaps two, or a warning and a fine? — some twenty-five, thirty years ago. I can’t remember, because it’s not that regular a habit with me. And yes, this was on straight roads, no traffic, etc, blah blah — ironically, just like this guy probably claims ALL his instances were. I just have a hard time believing that is perfectly true in his case. This guy *routinely, habitually* drives over the limit, and not just those “responsible 7/9 over”, but *fast enough to get stopped,* and shows absolutely no sign of remorse, or having wisened up. From the article:

            “…I occasionally get stopped for speeding.”
            “…allow scofflaws like me…”
            “A few years ago I was caught speeding…”
            “Next time I just might…”

            He’s not only in the habit of speeding, he’s in the habit of getting caught at it. And since nobody gets caught every time they do it, he must be *very much* in the habit of doing it.

            So no, I honestly don’t think he drives like a normal person. Normal people may drive a little over the posted limit, but being in the habit of driving _so much_ over the limit _so often_ that one is *in the habit of being caught at it* is not “normal”, in my book.

            To me, he sounds like a total wannabe-Fangio, and it’s probably only a matter of time before he *does* kill someone, speeding. All we can hope is it won’t be too many besides himself.

          • 0 avatar
            CRConrad

            At least I didn’t make it up as bad as
            @geeber: “He admitted to going 60 mph in the 57 mph zone. An “offense” that has been committed by virtually everyone – including, I’d wager, even you.

            So, under your “hypothetical” situation, since everyone who exceeds a speed limit by 3 mph…”

            17. Almost exactly six times as much. 67 in a 50-zone, not 60 in a 57-zone.

            I’ve never seen a fifty-seven speed limit in any units, miles or kilometers per hour.

          • 0 avatar
            geeber

            I misread what he said; my bad.

            Still doesn’t change the point – you accused him for all sorts of awful things (going 90 mph in the 25 mph zone) based on what he wrote, without a shred of proof.

            What you wrote still constitutes an accusation, not a hypothetical situation.

          • 0 avatar
            brenschluss

            Different parts of the US have vastly varying tolerances for speeding. Where I live, drive attentively and you can hang with or pass the state police at 80-85 on 55-65 limit interstates without issue. These are statistically very safe roads. Other places, that’s big trouble.

            If you often find yourself in different areas, you’re likely to find a few spots where whatever reasonable buffer we can all agree on is still considered illegal speeding, and will get you a ticket.

            Wander into enough of these towns without realizing it’s a trap, and you’re a dangerous, habitual speeder.

          • 0 avatar
            28-Cars-Later

            I just had to weigh in on this. I actually care about safety at large, so much so I’m part of the [lame] safety committee at my company. I have a RWD Volvo and in a few years time when I need a new beater it will be FWD Volvo variant. However posted highway speed limits are far from ideal and in some cases are deliberately manipulated by local fiefdoms in order to set up speed traps and questionable revenue streams. PA especially has some ridiculous limits on our highways, 65 to 55, 55 to 45 for a mile then back to 55 to then 50. I don’t imagine this is unique to our state. In addition to speed traps and general local gov’t buffoonery, I think these limits are intentionally set to low because psychology tells them people will go faster no matter what is posted. They could post 85 and people would just do 100. So they under-post limits, you speed anyway, and they have the ability to ticket, punish, and or blame you for “speeding” if something goes awry. The reality is traffic develops a flow irrespective of limits and its not wise to jump all over someone for going with the flow instead of being a 27mph driver in the right lane.

        • 0 avatar
          OneAlpha

          Seriously, how do you function in the real world when you’re this afraid of all the bad things that MIGHT happen?

          To live is to risk.

          Remember, the best way to get into Heaven is not to stroll in unblemished, with a full contingent of working organs.

          Preferably, you want to show up by sliding the flaming car in backwards on its roof, climb out through the shattered window, look at St. Peter with a crazed gleam in your eye, point in the direction you just came from, and scream:

          “DID YOU SEE THAT?! THAT WAS AWESOME!!!”

          • 0 avatar
            Lie2me

            Live fast, die young and leave a good looking corpse?

          • 0 avatar
            OneAlpha

            Eh, more like Carpe Diem.

          • 0 avatar
            CRConrad

            What you don’t want is to turn up there out of the blue, having set out to cross the street *going to* something that *you* find awesome, only to find that the guy before you in line who is screaming “DID YOU SEE THAT?! THAT WAS AWESOME!!!”, is the bastidge that ran you over while speeding.

          • 0 avatar
            brenschluss

            Solution to that is not to walk into traffic.

          • 0 avatar
            CRConrad

            Yeah, well, I didn’t see any traffic when I started across, did I? Came around the corner far too fast to see me *on the zebra crossing*, doing something “AWESOME”, you know…?

            Oh well, that’s one way of getting to meet Saint Pete even though the company store had first dibs…

          • 0 avatar
            CRConrad

            @Lie2me: “Live fast, die young and leave a good looking corpse?”

            Live fast, die young and leave several mangled corpses.

            There, FTFY.

          • 0 avatar
            brenschluss

            I don’t know many “zebra crossings” situated immediately after high-speed blind corners.

            If you do, I recommend crossing the street elsewhere.

          • 0 avatar
            CRConrad

            @brenschluss: “I don’t know many “zebra crossings” situated immediately after high-speed blind corners.”

            Neither do I; not immediately after — usually they are at a distance sufficient to react to vehicles that approach at some reasonable speed, and for the drivers to react to pedestrians. And not near high-speed blind corners, no, of course.

            But that’s precisely the problem, isn’t it? If the vehicle is approaching at an UN-reasonable speed, then that formerly-sufficient distance suddenly isn’t. And WTF is a high-speed blind corner? It’s either on a race-track, or an oxymoron: In traffic, you don’t take blind corners at high speed.

            So yes, if a speeder kills someone who was crossing the street — *especially* at my hypothetical zebra crossing (which doesn’t need any silly-quotes at all, thankyouverymuch) — you’ll have a bloody hard time claiming it’s the pedestrian’s fault more than the speeder’s.

          • 0 avatar
            Lie2me

            @OneAlpha

            “Eh, more like Carpe Diem.”

            Oh, Existentialist

        • 0 avatar
          geeber

          With those awesome psychic abilities – which CRConrad has used to divine exactly how often the author has not only exceeding the posted limit, but by how much – I’m surprised he is wasting his time posting here.

          He could be running his own Psychic Hotline and charging callers $9 a minute.

          • 0 avatar
            CRConrad

            OK, so do you honestly believe he has been caught every time he has been speeding — or may he possibly have been speeding EVEN MORE times than he’s been caught? And are YOU somehow psychic, to know that he HASN’T ever driven way irresponsibly over the limit?

            Because out here in the fact-based community, we tend to recognise trends and tendencies. And if speeding works like everything else, then people who admit to speeding a little, sometimes, in reality tend to speed quite a bit more, quite a bit more often.

            You don’t have to be Mystic Meg to realise that, and neither do I.

          • 0 avatar
            geeber

            A little education here – out here in the real world, everyone exceeds the posted speed limit on a regular basis.

            That is why, for example, the Pennsylvania State Police will not automatically pull you over for driving at 75 mph in the 65 mph zone on a limited access highways, unless you are doing something stupid (i.e., tailgating, weaving in and out of traffic, etc.).

            Only someone who knows nothing about cars and driving believes that this is always dangerous. It’s best not to show that level of ignorance in a public forum.

            It also does not mean that he has driven 90 mph in the 25 mph zone, which was your original accusation. I regularly drive 75 mph on the Pennsylvania Turnpike. I have NEVER driven even 50 mph on a residential street marked with a 25 mph speed limit, let alone 90 mph.

            This may come as a shock, but most people can tell the difference between exceeding the speed limit on a residential or commercial street by a large amount versus doing so on a limited access highway. You might learn that, too.

          • 0 avatar
            brenschluss

            “Because out here in the fact-based community, we tend to recognise trends and tendencies. And if speeding works like everything else, then people who admit to speeding a little, sometimes, in reality tend to speed quite a bit more, quite a bit more often.”

            So, in the fact-based community, we make assumptions without evidence?

            Are you kidding? You admitted to speeding a little. Are you immune to cognitive dissonance?

          • 0 avatar
            CRConrad

            @brenschluss: “So, in the fact-based community, we make assumptions without evidence?”

            Yes, of course. You’re probably assuming the sun is going to rise tomorrow. Do you have any logical bomb-proof *proof* that it will? No, you’re going on a preponderance of the evidence; statistical likelihood, basically. Trends and tendencies.

            “Are you kidding? You admitted to speeding a little. Are you immune to cognitive dissonance?”

            1) I’ve admitted to speeding very, VERY *little*, compared to this yokel. Scale it up for me, do the same for him, and which of us still seems more likely to speed both more severely and more often?

            2) I’ve entered into a debate arguing mainly against something, and also admitted to doing it myself. (I didn’t have to do that; I could have let you go on thinking I’m a Florida retiree helming my land-barge down the Interstate at 35 mph, as most of you seemed to be thinking for a while there.) As such, I felt compelled to be ruthlessly honest, so as not to commit any hypocrisy.

            3) The author of this story, on the other hand, seems to have much more of a “no big deal, of course everyone routinely gets caught speeding a couple times a year, don’t they?” vibe to him. It feels like a belittling attitude that is (IMO; not yours?) much more likely to lead him also to belittle the extent of his habit — i.e, if anything, is more likely to make him admit it *less* ruthlessly honestly than he could, not more.

            No, of course I’m not “immune to cognitive dissonance”. I just don’t perceive any here.

          • 0 avatar
            brenschluss

            The author has admitted to no more than doing 65 in a 57, once. He also used some hyperbole to imply that he exceeds the speed limit like any normal person does, saying that he’s a scofflaw in a pretty obviously joke-y way, and that due to a lot of time spent on the road, he’s gotten caught a couple times and will continue to be caught because even driving “normally,” if you spend your life on the road, differences in enforcement and small-town speed traps will catch you sometimes.

            You, because you lack a sense of humor, or ability to perceive intent, took this to mean that he’s admitting to much more than that.

            I have plenty of evidence that the sun will rise tomorrow. You have zero evidence to support any of your claims against the author and his driving habits other than your “vibe.”

          • 0 avatar
            Lie2me

            I safely speed a lot. So, if I admit to it what does that really mean?

            Nothing more then what I just said. You can’t possibly read something more into it.

    • 0 avatar
      OneAlpha

      Obligation to turn someone in for speeding?

      Oh, please.

      If Officer 82nd Airborne wants to round up The Lawless Criminal Scum to answer for their capital crimes, let him do his own dirty work.

      • 0 avatar
        sgeffe

        Probably shouldn’t feed the trolls — something I remember about removing the sequoia from one’s own eye before commenting on the splinter in someone else’s.

        (Or to just mind their own business!)

  • avatar
    raresleeper

    Hollywood Elite: “Hmmmm… let’s see- what’s the best way that we can absolutely destroy a Gelandewagon?”

    (Put on thinking cap… queue the Jeopardy Theme Song…)

    Hollywood Elite: “I’ve got it!! We’ll paint it Satin Black!”

    (Queue the Scooby Doo laugh… “Hee hee hee hee…”)

    • 0 avatar
      Virgil Hilts

      Thanks for all the comments on my post! Let me answer/clarify some points:

      1. My last accident was in 1987, single car/minor damage. My second-to-last accident was in 1981 when I got broadsided by a deer. I am hardly the maniac some make me out to be and I doubt they have a better driving record than I do. I tend to follow the 5 over/9 over rule someone mentioned above.

      2. I was given a choice of several traffic schools and they all were around $200, an outrage. Kickbacks to the local judge I suppose. It did reduce my fine to $0.

      3. Nope that is not my G-Wagon! It is Kylie Jenner’s…

      Thanks again!

      • 0 avatar
        Synchromesh

        I’m a little confused as to what your complaint is. That the traffic school was too easy? Isn’t that a good thing? Would you prefer to sit there sweating bullets wondering if you got all the answers right or you’ll have to redo the entire thing all over again? Not many people actually *need* the traffic school (MA drivers notwithstanding). It’s an easier way to get out of the ticket – yay!

        In MA there was no way to get out of a ticket this way. You either got your case dismissed or your insurance went up. Traffic school was automatically assigned after 3 offenses in one year and it didn’t take any points off your license. Be thankful it’s available in your state because otherwise it would cost close to $2K over next few years in insurance surcharges. And if you think insurance gets to pocket that money for themselves – you’re wrong. The state gets that extra difference. All another reason to hate Taxachusetts.

      • 0 avatar
        sgeffe

        I (seriously) set my cruise (Adaptive FTW) at 7 over in a 25, two or three over in a 30 (so you can see that my comfort zone that low is around 32 or so), five over at higher speeds in town, 7 over on the freeway, and 80 on a road trip (65mph+ posted). It’s worked well the last several years.

        People who are complete slaves to a sign are either, from my experience, afraid of their own shadows, holier-than-thou, or some combination thereof. (I actually witnessed, back in the days before wide availability of ABS, someone lock up all four wheels, smoke and all, to get down to the 55mph speed limit from the 70mph zone in which they were driving. Thankfully, I was far enough behind to realize what was happening, and had room to dart across two lanes of empty freeway (except for a semi in the center lane — still had room) in order to keep from cooking MY brakes!)

  • avatar
    Spike_in_Brisbane

    Actually these lessons would have been useful for someone like me, an Australian, because the description of “passing” is different to that used here. The activity described would be known here as “overtaking”. This becomes important to understand in Oz when approaching a narrow bridge on a country road. A sign saying ‘No overtaking’ means that the narrowness makes it dangerous to consider such a manouvre. ‘No passing’ means there is not even enough room for two cars to be side by side on the bridge so someone has to give way before entering.

  • avatar
    matador

    “Passing is any driving maneuver where you pass ahead of the vehicle in front of you”

    I Seriously Did Not Know This! I think I’ve done this “Passing” thing before, but didn’t know it!

    If it’s only a 4-Hour class, how much time should they devote to stuff as basic as the fact that cars have been used for about 100 years. Shouldn’t they try to help you drive more safely?

    P.S. Most speeders probably know that many cars can go over 100 ;-)

  • avatar
    thirty-three

    My neighbor needs to take this course. He parked his truck on my front walkway over the weekend. Make it kind of hard to get into my house. The walkway runs between our houses, and is about 1/2 foot wider than his truck.

    • 0 avatar
      sgeffe

      Sounds like a weekend a couple years ago where my neighbor’s daughter (who was renting the place from her mother) backed her Envoy SUV into the garage (common garage shared among all four units in my condominium building) much further back than she should have; she was likely well “into her cups” at the time! Mine and my other neighbor’s garage access door were blocked!

      Had to walk out my front door and around to the garage to get to my own car! Oddly, banging on the door by both my neighbor and I didn’t roust her to get her to move the damn thing — she may have slept the whole weekend away!

      Almost called a tow company to drag the damn thing forward! Transaxle/transfer-case damage would have served her right!

  • avatar
    NoGoYo

    Is it normal for driving school to be half parallel parking instruction?

    Because, well, that’s what mine was…and even with all the parallel parking practice, I STILL failed the parallel parking part of the test on the first try!


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