By on February 23, 2014

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Just when you think you’ve seen it all… you haven’t, apparently.

This letter came to me yesterday, in what appeared to be a hand-addressed envelope postmarked Santa Ana, CA. I assumed it was some sort of medical bill, but it turned out to be a fairly intricate sales pitch for a Dodge dealer located in Marion, Ohio, about thirty-five miles from me. As you can see, the letter purports to be a printed-out email from a sales manager who is desperate to get his hands on my 2009 Town Car. You know, this one:

015

I’m not sure why they need it so desperately. Perhaps they are playing a practical joke on someone who owns a white Town Car, or perhaps they are starting up a “Scared Transverse” program to convince people not to drive RWD cars. Either way, they’re offering 110% of Kelly Blue Book!

Those of you who have worked in a dealership know how this stuff happens. It’s a dead Tuesday and some guy pulls up in a rental, demanding to see “the decision maker” at the store. Your sales manager or GM is a brilliant closer but he doesn’t have any experience with being closed himself. So, before you know it, your dealership has paid someone $25,000 to “generate leads” for you that are, shall we say, not exactly up to Alec Baldwin’s standards.

The people who come in on these letters are looking to make impossible deals; they’re worse than regular “ups” by a factor of ten. At the end of the program, the company that sold it to your store points to the increased traffic, tactfully failing to mention that sales were about what they’d been before the start of the program. Everybody gets angry, someone gets fired, and the whole shop catches a case of corporate amnesia about the thing until the next super-salesman in a rental car knocks on the GM’s door.

What’s interesting about this particular piece of direct mail is the effort put into it. How did the Post-It get written? Was it an autopen device, some robot that writes letters and Post-Its and sticks them together and mails the whole thing out? Or is it a sweatshop somewhere in downtown Los Angeles? Could it be Chinese workers across the Pacific, faithfully copying the cursive shapes from a computer screen, assembling the letters, then filling a Maersk container with their earnest weight? The possibilities are nearly endless, but most of them are not cheering.

But I don’t have time to worry about the fate of the worker bee, whether American or Chinese; I have to high-tail it to the junkyard before they feed my 110%-of-Blue-Book Townie to Murilee’s Crusher!

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96 Comments on “Good News, Guys! Someone Wants To Pay Top Dollar For My Town Car!...”


  • avatar
    vent-L-8

    take (tow) it on by for your 100% BlueBook, I dare you

    • 0 avatar
      Astigmatism

      No no no no no. Have Shawn come to you. Tell him that you’d love to make the sale but you’re super jammed at work, and could he swing by with the paperwork at a convenient time, preferably on a Saturday morning when Little Jack’s already up watching NickToons? If he brings coffee and donuts, he just might have a deal!

  • avatar
    TEXN3

    I get similar “letters” and pictures of “text message screenshots” from the local Dodge dealer for our 2007 Outback. We sold that thing well over a year ago.

    • 0 avatar
      MBella

      I get these letters for my 2007 Impreza from the Subaru dealer to whom I turned the car in at the end of the lease. I always find that humorous.

      • 0 avatar
        talkstoanimals

        I get these letters from the Ford dealer that processed FoMoCo’s lemon law repurchase of my ’10 Mustang nearly four years ago. The post-it note invariably reminds me that “NOW IS THE TIME TO BUY!” I think the time to buy was about four years ago when the car in question quit working on a regular basis.

      • 0 avatar
        highdesertcat

        Many of those cars are chopped and enter the redistribution as used or refurbished parts, often handled through junk yards or wrecking yards.

        I helped my BF rebuild his ’68 Ford Fairlane 289 with the help of such a junk yard in Kansas City. We bought doors, a hood, and other parts, then had the whole lot painted when the restore job was done.

        The parts too damaged on Jack’s Townie can be cut away with a diamond-blade chop saw and the rest put up for sale as recyclables.

        The people in SC I sold my 1992 Townie to are buying up non-running Townies to have spares on hand for the next decade or two.

    • 0 avatar
      pdieten

      And I get them from the Ford dealer that sold me my ’09 Taurus in 2011. The funny part is, that off-lease car sat on their lot for almost six months before I bought it, for little more than its wholesale value, and it was days away from going to the auto auction. I really can’t imagine the dealer actually wants it back.

    • 0 avatar
      Nicholas Weaver

      I got a similar one on my Mazda, although it was more professional it did include the “hand” post-it. If I actually believed they would pay that much for it w/o being a tradein on a car jacked up by that much, I would have dropped by.

      Given the numbers they must be sending out, I’m suspecting autopen.

    • 0 avatar
      TMA1

      I received an almost identical letter, including the 110% offer, about a week after getting my car serviced at a dealership. That’s what I get for giving the dealership my real address. They were desperate to get their hands on my car.

      Now it’s just degenerated into threatening letters regarding extended warranties. “Attention: the factory warranty on your 2009 Volkswagen Jetta is about to expire. This is our last attempt to contact you, it is mandatory that you call the number below.” Also, there’s usually some threatening language about imprisonment and $5,000 fines on the front (in small letters: the threats apply to anyone opening else opening the letter, under the Postal code).

      Funny thing is, I’ve never owned a VW, and despite every letter being a “last attempt”, there’s always another one in the mail next week.

  • avatar

    Can you send him my way? I have a car we would like top-dollar for to get rid of.

  • avatar
    Hummer

    Alright now that Someone has posted I don’t feel so bad about being off topic,-
    What kinda junkyard/auction yard has classic vehicles beside of newer vehicles?
    What is the one you can see through the driver side window?

    • 0 avatar
      PrincipalDan

      Perhaps Jack did in fact arrange to have the car brought to “Mile High Brain Melting” junkyard that Murilee Martin has written of so many times. However I don’t think that Jack would actually pay to have his car taken from Ohio to Colorado.

  • avatar
    Jim Z

    even worse for me are the incessant phone calls I’m getting from companies wanting to sell me “extended warranties” for my 2010 Mustang, which I traded in 2.5 years ago. I answered the first one because it came from a local number (same area code as me) but now I just let it go to voicemail.

    • 0 avatar
      bachewy

      When I still had a home phone I got those calls all the time. The rub – like you I had traded the vehicle they were calling about in 2 years before. The phone number and address I had those 2 years before had changed yet these people still managed to get my NEW home phone and address. They wouldn’t answer where they got that info from.

      Because of that and numerous other non-stop, harassing phone calls from people wanting my money I finally dumped the home phone for good.

    • 0 avatar
      Japanese Buick

      I just got a call from one of these warranty companies on my wife’s 2012 Prius, trying to tell me that the warranty had just expired. I guess they either don’t know how long the Toyota factory warranty is, or they don’t think I know.

    • 0 avatar
      Short Bus

      lol, I’ve had some fun dealing with Sirius over the years. “BLAHBLAHBLAH RENEW YOUR RADIO SUBSCRIPTION!!!” to which I respond “I don’t own that car anymore.” … “BUT YOU COULD SAVE SO MUCH MONEY!!!” [/facepalm]

  • avatar
    Atum

    Wow, he even wants your son to sell him the car!

    Unless your real name is John.

    • 0 avatar
      npbheights

      Jack is a nickname for John. JFK was often called Jack Kennedy. It interesting because most nicknames are shorter than the original name, but not in this case. It is a nice way to differentiate father and son though. I bet Jack B’s father was John, he goes by Jack, and his son is John III and goes by John.

  • avatar
    Ryoku75

    Good luck selling the Townie, I wonder if that dealer is aware of the accident though.

    Considering depreciation, I’m surprised that anyone would pay KBB value of a newer Town Car.

  • avatar
    Pch101

    I don’t know, John, it could be a great opportunity. Buy Shawn a beer the next time that you see him.

  • avatar
    Windy

    I never trust people who dot their “i” with a circle or a heart
    ;-)

  • avatar

    We used to call people who advertised their vehicle for sale in the classified section of the newspaper. We bought a lot of cars outright and took many in on trade. Some sellers just wanted out while others were in the market for a different car and hadn’t taken into account the sales tax they would lose if they didn’t trade in. That, of course, needed to be calculated against the fact that we weren’t retail buyers.

    In this day and age of the Internet, many consumers are hesitant to try to sell their own car. Many have discovered that the criminal element has also figured out the Web. I still sell my own if need be using CraigsList.

    I have become increasingly concerned about who I invite over to me house. My neighbors made the mistake of advertising their Town Car for sale. For them, it was an extra car. Many people came to look at it. The neighbors are very open and talkative folks and must have mentioned an upcoming vacation they had planned. When they returned, their entire house was cleaned out. Furniture, appliances, TVs, jewelry, everything. Another story includes some escapees who needed transportation and a guy’s wife and teenage daughter. I don’t need to elaborate.

    Sometimes its just better to just take the wholesale trade in allowance and your sales tax benefit and be done with it. No ongoing liability, no fuss, no muss.

    • 0 avatar
      highdesertcat

      I can relate to that. I used to advertise old cars in the Thrifty Nickel and similar rags so I could part them out.

      In many cases, buyers would buy the whole car instead of just the parts they needed.

      In the cases where cars were stripped of everything useful, I would take the carcass to a junk yard and sell it as scrap metal. Even wrecked cars are worth something.

    • 0 avatar
      Chicago Dude

      That’s just blatant fear-mongering Ruggles. And what kind of person lets their neighbor get cleaned out like that? I wouldn’t want to live in a community like that.

      But, I guess that if you are too scared to sell your car for what it is worth, perhaps a person should consider leasing and avoid the chances of interacting with scary strangers once every half decade or so. It’s probably more cost effective.

    • 0 avatar
      Hillman

      You meet people in a crowded parking lot. I would never meet someone at my house for a sale. If you can’t use a little common sense then you will get equally cleaned out on any transaction legal or illegal.

      • 0 avatar
        Japanese Buick

        That’s not that practical in my experience. Over half of the people who make appointments to see a used car don’t show up or show up very late. Going to a parking lot or some other locatoin to meet them would get old quickly and your day would quickly get eaten up.

        I know some people, all of them single women, who took baths selling their cars to CarMax because they did not want to deal with strangers when selling their cars on their own.

        Important note: all of my car selling experience was pre-Craigslist. Now I keep them until they are worn out, and donate them. So I don’t know if that has gotten any better.

    • 0 avatar
      ajla

      “… must have mentioned an upcoming vacation they had planned. When they returned, their entire house was cleaned out. Furniture, appliances, TVs, jewelry, everything.”

      Did they catch the criminals? How would they know that this was a result of the CL sale? If these people are into talking about their lives, there were probably a least a handful of other people that knew about their trip.

      If they moved out freaking couches and large furniture from the house then your neighbors weren’t just dealing with the basic petty smash-and-grab thieves. I can’t even imagine what use stealing something like an entertainment center would be.

      • 0 avatar
        George B

        We had a robbery in my neighborhood where the thieves pretended to be a moving company, completely emptying a house. In another case, the thieves posed as a landscape maintenance company, even going so far as to mow the lawn while they robbed the house. The theme is to just create a situation in the middle of the day where a bunch of Mexicans working at a neighbor’s house looks plausibly normal. We’ve reacted by forming an informal neighborhood watch group where we ask questions and take pictures of unfamiliar trucks.

    • 0 avatar
      CapVandal

      Sell on craigslist?

      That’s what Starbucks are for. It depends on the item, of course.

      I agree with Ruggles … More people can sell a car themselves than fix one … but it isn’t something to do without some thought.

    • 0 avatar
      TMA1

      I made the unfortunate choice of adding my phone number to a Craigslist ad. It helped me move the car, but I was getting a robocall every day from “Tim” who wanted to help me sell the car. My biggest problem with selling it online was the people who would drive the car, then ask, “can I make payments on it?”

      Dude, do I look like a financing company? If a bank won’t lend you the cash, what makes you think I will?

    • 0 avatar
      onyxtape

      Sold at least 5-6 cars on Craigslist in the past 6 years – never had a problem.

      - Always met in a shopping mall parking lot during daylight hours.
      - Always insisted on cash payment (either right there in person or a trip together to their bank).
      - Always insisted on them signing a contract that I draft releasing me of all liabilities, etc.
      - Never allowed unsupervised test drives.
      - Always had them sign the DMV sales form to release me of all liabilities.
      - Always showed up alone – my wife knows where I am, who I’m meeting, and when to expect a call to check in. Many times she’ll be in another car nearby waiting and watching.

      The only time things got hairy was when a buyer showed up at my home unannounced because something did not get signed (my fault). He was new to the country and did not know that showing up at someone’s house unannounced (and with his ethnic background) could be an automatic death sentence in a number of states.

      But really, no issues ever and the biggest headaches were the guys asking for a 70% discount as an initial offer (typically guys from foreign countries were this type of bartering is normal and expected) then they’re astonished 5 days later when they call back and find out it’s been sold at around the original list price.

  • avatar
    HerrKaLeun

    This is just a scam to make you trade in your car to buy a new one.
    That KBB value is totally pointless and just used by dealers to skim you.

    I had sold my Mazda 3 for $9K via craigslist without much effort (wish I would have advertised elsewhere). The dealers where I bought my new car offered me $5K-$5.5K and acted like I’m stealing their first born son. I’m sure they would have sold my car for $10-$11K. Multiple dealers gave me similar offers.
    100% markup on used cars? I my next life I deal with used cars.

    And that sales tax advantage is just a boondoggle that he dealer lobby got from the State to benefit them. Based on my experience I would have gotten the $400 sales tax advantage, at almost losing $4K in actual car value. in my opinion used cars shouldn’t get taxed either way since it already paid sales tax when it was new. this is double-taxation to collect tax from private sale. when I sell my old fridge (that I already paid tax for when it was new), no one collects tax again. the only reason to collect sales tax on used cars is to encourage people to trade in rather than sell themselves. Thanks to the dealer lobby.

    • 0 avatar
      mike978

      The tax advantage isn`t to do with double taxation. From what I understand if you are buying a $20000 car and have a $5000 trade in then you pay sales tax on the $15000 difference. If you had sold your car privately then spent $20K you would pay sales tax on the full $20K.
      Obviously in your case the extra $4000 you made selling privately more than made up for the sales tax difference.

      • 0 avatar
        HerrKaLeun

        but if I buy a $20k car and pay the full sales tax (which is the part I’m OK with), why does the person that buys my old car from me privately has to pay tax again? In some way that person gives me less for my old car to make up for the tax he has to pay.

        And even assuming if above transactions are fair, why is there a tax discount when going through dealer? this seems to give dealers an advantage so they have an easier time talking people into trading in.

        Based on my real world example, the dealer would have made $5K on my trade-in. I doubt they make that much on the new car. So the trade-in is where the actual money is, the new car is just bait (or a side business).

        When I had my car on CL, some dealers also contacted me acting like they are desperate to get a car like that, just to offer $5K.

      • 0 avatar
        sitting@home

        I’m pretty certain you can’t do that here in California. You pay sales tax on the full sales price of the new car irrespective of trade-in. As part of the wheelin-dealin they will often offer to drop both the new car and the trade in prices by a few $100 but any more would be tantamount to tax evasion. The amount they can knock off the sales tax in no way makes up for the difference between private party and trade-in sales value.

        Sales tax on used cars is legalized state robbery. I sold an Integra to a student who two days later phoned up to ask if I could give him a refund as he didn’t realize he had to pay sales tax when he registered it … “sorry bud !”

        • 0 avatar
          Firestorm 500

          In Arkansas, you get sales tax credit for the used vehicle you sell, either to the dealer or to a private party, for up to 30 days after purchasing the newer car.

          Any car $4,000 and up has to have sales tax paid on it.

          You also have 30 days to register your new purchase.

    • 0 avatar
      Lorenzo

      If you don’t like double taxation, HerrKaLeun, don’t live in Massachusetts. You need a permit there for a garage sale and must collect and turn in the sales tax. Oh, and your garage sales must be spaced 6 months apart. More frequently and you’ll have to get a dealer’s license.

  • avatar

    Interesting set of wheels sitting in the background through the driver’s window.

  • avatar
    Wheatridger

    This belongs in the circular file with the letters that begin, “You may already be a winner.”

    Skip that scam.. just call your local public radio station and tell them you have a donation for them.

  • avatar
    mjz

    I can’t decide if if the TC looks like it is in “good” condition, or just “fair”. Sure it has a few dings and scratches but…

  • avatar
    Cabriolet

    I get these letters letters at least once a month. Most are for my 2009 VW TDI that i traded in 2 years ago and no longer own. As a side note before the market crash in 2008/2009 we were shipping at least 3-4 Lincoln town cars converted to 38 ft long to the UK. Most were from a dealer in south New Jersey and each one had at least 195,000 miles. This was going on for about 2-3 years and the main buyer visited my office a few times. When the s*it hit the fan they stopped ordering them. I was was told they ran them day and night and made very good money. My agent in the UK told me he never heard from them again.

  • avatar
    OneAlpha

    I still get the occasional piece of mail from Ford in , PA about my 1996 Crown Vic cop car coming due for it’s next oil change.

    What, you mean the one your dealership took as a non-running trade-in SEVEN YEARS AGO?

    The one with the five-speed conversion, the (badly) homemade wiring harness and the body kit made out of a refrigerator box, six hundred sticks of hot glue and three gallons of fiberglass resin?

    That one?

    • 0 avatar
      SCE to AUX

      I continue getting the maintenance letters for my former 05 Odyssey, which I gladly traded in 07 (lemon).

      I once sent an angry e-mail to the dealer demanding removal from the list, and briefly recounted the bad experience I had with them and the car. But the letters just keep coming, so now I just throw them away.

  • avatar
    JimC2

    http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/its-a-trap

    OK, probably not, but I just wanted to use this.

  • avatar
    ajla

    I don’t get any of these.

    I guess the market for Allantes isn’t hot right now.

  • avatar
    mkirk

    So he has a buyer that will pay over 110% KBB? I have some stuff I’d like to sell this buyer.

    • 0 avatar
      Pch101

      When you deduct the repair costs, the blue book value post-crash is negative — that’s why the car was totaled out.

      • 0 avatar
        JimC2

        So if the apparatchik “buyer” is fully apprised of the apparent approximate appraised value of the car post-wreck, applying the math apropos this formula (110% of negative value), such an approach appears to be in hope of appropriating some of Jack’s money along with the salvage.

        ^^^
        Say that three times fast :)

        • 0 avatar
          Pch101

          Yes, if you’re lucky, the dealer will allow you to pay him to buy your car.

        • 0 avatar
          Scoutdude

          Of course the sender of the vehicle doesn’t know the value of Jack’s TC and doesn’t even know that it has been declared a total loss. They likely mined the data months ago and the DMV doesn’t consider it a total loss until they receive the title marked as destroyed and even then it probably takes a week or two until that shows up in their system.

          The car does not have a “negative” KBB value it just doesn’t have one at all because their business model does not include compiling data from insurance auctions.

          It certainly has or had some value, at least as much as the scrap metal content. Some wrecking yard likely will pay higher than scrap value though since they know they are likely to be able to sell some parts for much greater than scrap value and some parts as cores to re-builders, before selling the remaining parts for scrap.

          • 0 avatar
            JimC2

            @Scoutdude, ummmmmmmm, thanks for clearing all that up. None of us had any idea.

            Let me guess- you’re the kind of guy who shows up at a party, where everyone is already having a good time, and interrupts a drinking game to tell the participants they’re following the wrong rules.

          • 0 avatar
            Firestorm 500

            Everyone needs to notice the letter says “UP TO 110% of KBB value.

            That doesn’t mean everything will be paid AT 110% of KBB value.

            An important distinction.

          • 0 avatar
            Pch101

            (Scoutdude took this one a bit too seriously.)

            A car in this condition has only salvage value — it doesn’t have blue book value, per se.

            110% of nothing equals nothing. Less than 110% of nothing is equal to that same amount.

            The story that is being missed here is that the state of Ohio is presumably selling off or giving away vehicle registration information. (Perhaps it came from somewhere else, but I have my doubts.) Are the citizens of that state aware of this, and if so, are they unhappy about it?

          • 0 avatar
            TMA1

            I suspect, Pch101, that the state of Maryland is selling registration info. When I registered the car I bought last month, I received a notice about a week later telling me my warranty was expiring. But both my cars are the same make and model year, so maybe it was related to my other car (which is usually misidentified as a VW Jetta, for some reason). The fact that they had “Mazda” instead makes me think it’s related to the new car.

          • 0 avatar
            Pch101

            In your case, I would consider the possibility that the dealership may have sold off your name, too, if you bought the car from a dealership.

          • 0 avatar
            TMA1

            I’m pretty sure the dealer sold me out on my other Mazda, but the notices I got for that one always refer to a Volkswagen that I don’t own. The Miata I bought last month was from the original owner.

  • avatar
    qest

    “But I don’t have time to worry about the fate of the worker bee, whether American or Chinese; I have to high-tail it to the junkyard before they feed my 110%-of-Blue-Book Townie to Murilee’s Crusher!”

    That made me LOL. Thanks!

    You should have included a pic of the fine print. Maybe the best and brightest could have found you a loophole.

  • avatar
    Opus

    “I need and … can offer UP TO 110%…”

    UP TO

    People don’t read these things critically. There’s no guarantee that you’d be offered any more than 50% of KBB, if that.

    • 0 avatar
      Pch101

      After the wreck, the car has no blue book value. Blue Book accounts for condition.

      The payout from the insurer is (or at least should be) based upon what the value was prior to the crash, not after the crash.

  • avatar
    namesakeone

    If he will buy the car at 110% of KBB without having to sell you anything, take it!

  • avatar

    I suspect Jack did not even notice that the scam is addressed to John. He never mentions it in the post. I’m wondering, however, why did they think the car was John’s? They data-mined through accident reports, perhaps.

    As far as fake handwriting goes, this one is yet another step forward for the marketing droids. So far the ones I received only had slight mechanical variations, such as moving the dot over “i”.

    • 0 avatar

      The only people who call me Ronald are my mother, government agencies, and people who don’t know me. When I answer the phone and they ask for Ronald, there’s a 99% chance that they want something from me.

      • 0 avatar
        JimC2

        The phone number on the stickynote is a toll free one. Anybody call it to see where it goes?

        Anyway, if it turns out to be a scam then I’d take them up on the free oil change… but I’d do it with a twist: I’d ask them to change the oil in my lawnmower, hehehe!

  • avatar
    Helmut Spargel

    This is almost as good as the call I got trying to tell me that the warranty on my Chevrolet “Traversie” was about to expire. I don’t have that car anymore, but I decided to play along. They hung up when I said it had 350k miles.

  • avatar
    Boff

    Yeah I’ve gotten a few of those “WE REALLY WANT YOUR TRADE-IN!!!” letters…I was excited for about 20 seconds after I got the first one, until I calculated the odds of them really wanting an early-build ’04 RX-8 with rust issues, a soft engine and a supra-loud cat-back. This letter/post-it takes the game to an entirely new level, though!

  • avatar
    sgeffe

    Good God, that pic gives me shivers!!

    Glad to see you can have SOME lolz about it now!

    (I suppose if you didn’t, you’d go crazy! Probably would describe MY reaction, actually! :-( )

  • avatar
    Madroc

    This letter implies that there are people out there who think 110% of Blue Book is a good trade-in. That’s so adorable.

  • avatar
    Monty

    You know that should buff out nicely.

    I love getting that crap in the mail – sometimes I’ll call the sales guy just to rile him/her up. It’s really fun when I waste 20 to 30 minutes of their time, and then let them know the car they mailed me about hasn’t been ours for a few years.

    Good times.

  • avatar
    Ron B.

    It’s a new take on the Nigerian ” i will post you a check with extra to cover expenses etc ” scam.
    Except it is Americans trying it on under the cover of a legitimate business.
    Take their offer ,deliver the car and run and resell the new car as quick as possible. Convince that relative you don’t like much to use their name on the title so the skip chasers or hit men leave you alone.

    • 0 avatar
      SCE to AUX

      I read an interesting article on the Nigerian scam e-mails.

      The reason they keep appearing is because they work. Reasonably intelligent people discard these immediately, but unfortunately the gullible have a pretty high hit rate. So rather than make the scam story sound legitimate, they make it so outrageous that the hit rate is pretty good among a certain niche of the population.

  • avatar
    dwford

    We used to do these mailers all the time where I worked. It was 110% of KBB FAIR, deducting for over 12k per year miles etc. The customers who came in and demanded to get their car appraised before doing anything else invariably weren’t happy with the number. Most of the time we could just flip the conversation towards looking for a new vehicle and and could get the customer to forget the letter altogether (which is the point of it anyway).

  • avatar
    kaveman

    A few years back one of our local Kia dealerships sent me something very similar, and being young and dumb I went in to see them. At the same time however I have my VERY clean low mileage EVO VIII for sale and was thinking they actually would have wanted it being that it was a rare car. Go into the dealer, an hour later and after arguing just to get my keys back, they give me an offer of 13,500, on a a car that blue booked in excellent condition for 22k+ at the time. I learned my lesson, but man its ridiculous sometimes. They had also told me the car needed a new clutch, and a few other things. It had 30k miles and was flawless.
    Im amazed by all the horror stories Ive heard from this dealer chain, I often wonder how they stay in business.

  • avatar

    I got a letter a while back when I still had my Ranger from the Ford dealer I bought it from claiming they guaranteed they could get into a new vehicle with a lower monthly payment then I was paying. Since I had paid the vehicle off early and my monthly payment was $0, I was tempted to take it in and see how much they would pay me per month to get a new truck.

  • avatar
    Jimal

    If you think the offer is bad, you should hear the pitch you make to the dealer. I get these pitches every couple of months, mainly from this company out of Iowa. The message (Thank you Caller ID) is usually super casual and inappropriately familiar:

    “James, this is Kim from [COMPANY OMITTED]. [DEALER] Hyundai sent out this piece and went from #9 to #1 in sales last month. Dude, give me a call.”

  • avatar

    One of the other sales guys here at my dealership got a similar pitch, and frankly we were impressed by it. Now granted, it won’t work on most people, but there is a percentage of the population that cares more about imaginary treatment of importance than silly things like maths. I’m sure it’s working for them, just like I get people who actually believe the lease payments advertised online are out the door payments with tax, tags, and everything. But it gets them in the door.

  • avatar
    FreedMike

    Who’s “John”?

    Is Baruth doing a Don Draper on us?

  • avatar
    CoreyDL

    It would garner immediate suspicion from me based on the following sentence, which makes no sense.

    “I will make it worth their while if John is interested.”

    • 0 avatar
      Lorenzo

      Given the state of American education, you may have to dial back your suspicion. You can get similar results using Google translator, translating from English to any foreign language and then back again. However, I’ve gotten printed material like that from my credit union and talked to the person who wrote it. She spoke the way she wrote, so I closed my accounts at that credit union and went back to my old bank.

    • 0 avatar
      Pch101

      It’s a mail merge issue. In English, we have no gender-neutral pronoun, which has led to the informal usage of “they” and “their.”

      “I will make it worth his while if John is interested” would have been correct. But “their” is used instead of “his” for those cases when the car owner is female or the name of an organization — except for the name “John,” everyone is being sent the same letter.

      • 0 avatar
        jd418197

        Exactly. Using “their” is just f’ing wrong – when used to refer to singular nouns. I call it a “lazy” issue, not a mail merge one, but I get your point.

  • avatar
    Japanese Buick

    Another tell that no one has mentioned… who has an email client that prints email headers without email addresses?

  • avatar
    ChiefPontiaxe

    Nice!
    I guess nobody else got the “Glengarry Glen Ross” Alec Baldwin reference. Now put the coffee DOWN!
    http://vimeo.com/64121060

  • avatar
    SCE to AUX

    Beware of good deals that come to you.

    Another scam is the utility company that wants to save you money by locking in your rate. This inevitably means they believe rates will fall, but too many people believe the utility company has the customers’ best interest in mind and sign up. So when rates actually DO fall, you’re contractually bound paying higher rates than you should.

  • avatar

    That’s an old one, it was old when I was taught it by Mr. Russel in my first job in the business, going through the orphan files at Gateway Chevrolet on Milwaukee ave. in Chicago back in the late 1970s.
    Old time Chicagoans may remember Mr Russel from his long running classified ads in the Sun Times for Reprocessed Cars. I wonder whatever happened to him, he was out of control, with a massive monkey on his back, but a sales machine. He taught the me a lot about life.

  • avatar
    3Deuce27

    “I have to high-tail it to the junkyard before they feed my 110%-of-Blue-Book Townie to Murilee’s Crusher!”

    Did you make it in time… COL!

    110% of ‘No Book’ is more like it.

    Scammers… !x%@$?>^*$*(#+-”%

    My son had a mobile crusher come to his place a few years ago. They crushed quite a few decent, late gen-2 ‘F’ bodies, and Gen-3′s, and a few 73′ and later GM pick-ups and S-10′s. I tried to tell him those ‘F’ bodies would start growing in popularity. Now those 73′-plus trucks are getting popular, too. But, hey! Dad don’t know nuthing.


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