Oh, Cayenne owners, you so crazy! And I should know — the $96,000 GTS 6MT above was briefly my company car way back in the day. I also had a plain “S” in 2004, although that proved to be so popular with a business partner of mine I wound up trading him for a Cadillac STS. Neither of the Touaregs-in-drag ever managed to spend more than a few months away from the loving embrace of our local Porsche dealer, so there was no third Cayenne in the plan. You know what they say: fool me twice, I won’t get fooled again.
But there are people out there who have found the Cayenne even more painful than I did.
Early this week, an Oakland bartender was run down by what looks like a first-generation Cayenne. The Porsche (repeatedly and painfully called a “Porsh” in the news coverage) bopped the guy hard enough to crack about every bone he had below his waist before driving off. The victim, a bartender named Daniel Mendoza, opined that
I just can’t believe they don’t have enough love for their human brother to go out and see if they’re ok, if they’re even alive,
The interesting thing from this Midwesterner’s perspective is that the fault in this accident depends on the state in which you live. In Ohio, anybody meandering across a street, particularly where there’s no crosswalk, would be at fault were they to be hit. In California, as I understand it, the automobile is under an obligation to stop. Perhaps the Lawyers of TTAC can chime in here.
From the bright trim on the Cayenne and its age, I’m guessing it’s a pre-2006 “S”, which means it’s worth about ten grand. That means that the driver might well be uninsured or even what we now call “undocumented”. Mr. Mendoza is hoping that the person who hit him will step forward, because he is also uninsured. Were I him, I wouldn’t hold my breath.