By on November 29, 2013

Oh, Cayenne owners, you so crazy! And I should know — the $96,000 GTS 6MT above was briefly my company car way back in the day. I also had a plain “S” in 2004, although that proved to be so popular with a business partner of mine I wound up trading him for a Cadillac STS. Neither of the Touaregs-in-drag ever managed to spend more than a few months away from the loving embrace of our local Porsche dealer, so there was no third Cayenne in the plan. You know what they say: fool me twice, I won’t get fooled again.

But there are people out there who have found the Cayenne even more painful than I did.

Early this week, an Oakland bartender was run down by what looks like a first-generation Cayenne. The Porsche (repeatedly and painfully called a “Porsh” in the news coverage) bopped the guy hard enough to crack about every bone he had below his waist before driving off. The victim, a bartender named Daniel Mendoza, opined that

I just can’t believe they don’t have enough love for their human brother to go out and see if they’re ok, if they’re even alive,

The interesting thing from this Midwesterner’s perspective is that the fault in this accident depends on the state in which you live. In Ohio, anybody meandering across a street, particularly where there’s no crosswalk, would be at fault were they to be hit. In California, as I understand it, the automobile is under an obligation to stop. Perhaps the Lawyers of TTAC can chime in here.

From the bright trim on the Cayenne and its age, I’m guessing it’s a pre-2006 “S”, which means it’s worth about ten grand. That means that the driver might well be uninsured or even what we now call “undocumented”. Mr. Mendoza is hoping that the person who hit him will step forward, because he is also uninsured. Were I him, I wouldn’t hold my breath.

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53 Comments on “A Very Unhappy Thanksgiving Courtesy Of The Porsche Cayenne...”


  • avatar
    28-Cars-Later

    Hopefully the poetic justice will be when the “Porsh” Touareg invariably is broken down on the side of the road, the local authorities catch on and arrest the suspect.

    Additional:
    “From the bright trim on the Cayenne and its age, I’m guessing it’s a pre-2006 “S”, which means it’s worth about ten grand. That means that the driver might well be uninsured or even what we now call “undocumented”.”

    …or low level cartel and the bartender was just an unfortunate victim of a man on something. I can’t think of any honest person who blows ten or more grand on a junky status symbol and then has the proclivity to run a man down.

  • avatar
    mitchw

    Forget it Jack, it’s Zuffenhausen. They’ll keep getting away with it

  • avatar
    28-Cars-Later

    Jack, the link doesn’t work properly. I put it in a new tab and trimmed off the first few sections, this is the link you want to refer to:

    http://sanfrancisco.cbslocal.com/2013/11/28/driver-strikes-oakland-bartender-in-hit-and-run-caught-on-camera/

  • avatar
    alexndr333

    While I’m not a lawyer, I am a California native in my sixth decade. It is true that in the Golden State the pedestrian has the right-of-way at all times. Jaywalking and crossing against the light are violations of the Vehicle Code, yet a car must ALWAYS stop even for these scofflaws. I’m told that states where pedestrians do not have the right-of-way actually have lower rates of pedestrian accidents, but I do not know this for sure. Nevertheless, I doubt that any amount of contrary information would change California law. The driver must stop for the pedestrian, and must also stop after an accident occurs. Sounds like two violations here.

    • 0 avatar
      sitting@home

      Pedestrians DO NOT have right of way outside of a crosswalk in California, although any road junction is legally a crosswalk even if it isn’t marked. Here’s some articles from people who are lawyers …

      http://www.bestattorney.com/california-motor-vehicle-code/crosswalks-21950.html

      http://www.bestattorney.com/california-motor-vehicle-code/driving-near-pedestrians-outside-crosswalks-cmvc-21954.html

      http://www.sargentlawfirm.com/2012/01/fact-or-fiction-pedestrians-always-have-the-right-of-way/

      The law book says …

      “No pedestrian may suddenly leave a curb or other place of safety and walk or run into the path of a vehicle that is so close as to constitute an immediate hazard.”

    • 0 avatar
      sitting@home

      You need to check the law more often. It’s a myth that pedestrians have right of way anywhere except crossings (marked or unmarked).

      “21954. (a) Every pedestrian upon a roadway at any point other than within a marked crosswalk or within an unmarked crosswalk at an intersection shall yield the right-of-way to all vehicles upon the roadway so near as to constitute an immediate hazard.

      (b) The provisions of this section shall not relieve the driver of a vehicle from the duty to exercise due care for the safety of any pedestrian upon a roadway.”

      So vehicles have right of way, but they can’t deliberately mow down pedestrians.

      • 0 avatar
        Synchromesh

        alexndr333 is right actually, regardless of what it says. How do I know? I just moved from MA to CA. First order of things was getting a CA license by going through a written exam. Trust me, the general idea is that pedestrians are ALWAYS right whether on marked or unmarked crosswalk, jwalking or anything else. It says so right in the manual I had to read. This is very much like MA laws.

        Only difference is that at most pedestrians tend to stop and wait for green in CA. But in MA they tended to go on red and God forbid you weren’t stopping for them – you would always be at fault. This kind of stuff would never fly in NY!

        • 0 avatar
          Hillman

          I found that the most inconsiderate thing a pedestrian can do is wait at the corner for the coast to be clear when there is no cross walk signal. You stop the car for them to cross and then they fiddle on their phone or panic.

          • 0 avatar
            redav

            Perhaps it is the driver who “panics” by bringing his car to a stop when there is no crosswalk nor intent/attempt of the pedestrian to cross. Those drivers worry me far more than aggressive drivers because they are unpredictable.

            I’ve found an effective way of dealing with such scaredy-cats is to turn my back to them or at least look in the opposite direction until they drive off.

          • 0 avatar
            Pch101

            In the US, pedestrians can cross at any intersection, unless there are signs indicating otherwise. Striping and signage are not required.

        • 0 avatar
          sitting@home

          Sorry synchro, you’re wrong. The above quote is the law which clearly states pedestrians don’t have the right of way.

          The CA DMV handbook you read for the written test says …

          “In California, pedestrian deaths occur in approximately 19 percent of all traffic fatalities. Drive cautiously when pedestrians are near because they may suddenly cross your path.”

          “Respect the right-of-way of pedestrians. Always stop for any pedestrian crossing at corners or other crosswalks, even if the crosswalk is in the middle of the block, at corners with or without traffic lights, whether or not the crosswalks are marked by painted lines.”

          Which says pedestrians may be erratic but only cedes right of way at crosswalks.

          Google “california pedestrian right of way” and see how many lawyer sites specifically say pedestrians don’t have a general right-of-way, probably because they constantly get calls from people who wandered in front of a car and are expecting a bumper payout.

        • 0 avatar
          Pch101

          There’s a difference between “right of way” and “duty of care.”

          Pedestrians don’t always have the right of way, but vehicles drivers are also obliged to make an effort to avoid crashing into pedestrians. Having the right of way is not a license to do whatever you please.

  • avatar
    jz78817

    well, more accurately, the guy was run down by someone driving the Cayenne, not the Cayenne itself.

    Cars don’t kill people, people kill people ;)

  • avatar
    Nostrathomas

    If the assailant was driving a real Porsche, the bartender could’ve just hopped right over it.
    Just another reason to hate SUVs.

  • avatar
    carlisimo

    Illegal immigrants around here drive cars that cost a few thousand dollars – to buy AND run for a year. I wouldn’t worry about a Cayenne owner being one of them.

    And even if this had happened in a state where the jaywalker was at fault, leaving the scene will ruin any legal case you had.

  • avatar
    -Nate

    No surprise this happened in Oak Town ~ it’s not a nice place .

    -Nate

  • avatar
    PrincipalDan

    Sad stuff my friends although the victim would have been just as screwed had it been a Pontiac Torrent. Of course this just reinforces the stereotype of Porsche owners.

  • avatar
    sgtyukon

    I don’t live in California, but I do drive there every two or three years, mostly in tourist areas such as LA, San Francisco, Carmel, S Lake Tahoe. Because California is such a tourist area, if I did live there I would not put as much faith in pedestrian right of way as the people who walk around the state do.

  • avatar

    Being someone who was hit by illegal, uninsured immigrants in my teens… This person is fucked. Unless a witness comes forward (which happened in my case), there’s nothing that will help him, including insurance. Got someone who will vouch in your favor? You get a win in court, but a loss in insurance since the opponent has none! Hah! Everyone loses in this case! It’s the best reason to drive a Pinto; you kill your assailant and yourself on the spot! Think that driver of a $10k exotic has money and insurance? Nope! if they do and the insurance company re-assesses them at time of claim, and they have a poor income level? Fucked! Both parties! it’s an insurance orgie! Everyone limps away with an insurance provided STD. I feel for the car more than the folks involved, it gets shipped to hell.

    • 0 avatar
      segfault

      In my state at least, if you have Uninsured Motorist / Underinsured Motorist insurance on your own auto policy, it will cover this type of situation (e.g., you’re a pedestrian hit by an unidentifiable vehicle).

      • 0 avatar
        redav

        As do I. However, I take great umbrage to the need to pay more to (1) cover the failure and/or crime of another person and (2) cover what should be covered, anyway.

        • 0 avatar
          CoreyDL

          There’s no good solution to the uninsured motorist question, other than to pay for the coverage yourself.

          You can’t go after people who don’t have anything to take.

  • avatar
    SCE to AUX

    It’s still a “Porsh” to me – always has been.

    If the victim doesn’t sign up for Obamacare, he’ll be fined. Just sayin’.

  • avatar
    SCE to AUX

    It’s still a “Porsh” to me – always has been. At least Hyundai did the public a service by running ads that taught us how to properly pronounce their company name – “Hyundai, like Sunday!”.

    If the victim doesn’t sign up for Obamacare, he’ll be fined. Just saying.

  • avatar
    John Horner

    It is very unlikely the driver was “undocumented” as you opined. Such individuals are rarely seen driving vehicles worth $10k with high running costs. Your snark would likely be better directed elsewhere.

    • 0 avatar
      skor

      Where I live “high end” cars that are on their 2nd-3rd owners are MORE likely to be operated by people without valid DLs, inspection, registration, or insurance. New cars, and really old beaters, are more likely to be owned by honest people. It’s very common to see 3-4 year old Mercedes, BMWs, Lexus and the like parked in the lots at the section 8 apartment complexes. I know this because I have personal friends who are policemen.

  • avatar
    BobinPgh

    Were I him, I wouldn’t hold my breath.

    But you will Jack, I know you can hold your breath a long time making your underwater video!

  • avatar
    zeus01

    The truly sad thing here is that the victim was a bartender, a valuable contributing member of society. Why oh-phucking-WHY couldn’t the victim have been a politician?

  • avatar
    toomanycrayons

    “Oh, Cayenne owners, you so crazy!”

    I was looking at the 2014 Forester and read that the turbo version is just 1/10 of a second slower than a Cayenne in the 1/4 mile. With a few aftermarket mods and a bit of skill any Subie fanatic might make that a painful experience, too. Oh, the humiliation…

    • 0 avatar
      -Nate

      Yes but ;

      According to this very site , owning a Forester will make you a Lesbian .
      Odd I know but that’s how it is .

      Personally I like the utility aspect of the Forester’s boxy body .

      -Nate

      • 0 avatar
        toomanycrayons

        I guess, Nate, you have to decide how much you think Cayenne owners should suffer and just what you’re prepared to change about yourself to make that happen…

        • 0 avatar
          -Nate

          ?? eh ??

          I don’t think Cayman owners should suffer unless they’re like any other dirtbag who hits someone then drives away….

          Did I miss something ? .

          I was just making a light comment on all the Forester hate that was espoused here recently , I don’t get why .

          -Nate

          • 0 avatar
            toomanycrayons

            Perhaps you missed the connection between a Subie fanatic seeking to humiliate Cayenne owners further by converting to lesbianism, and still beating them over a 1/4 mile? You brought it up, the lesbian thing. Boxy and utilitarian as well are some of the attractions shared amongst that tribe, so I hear. Maybe my light comments aren’t light enough?

          • 0 avatar
            -Nate

            Well as I said ; I read the forester/Lesbian comments here and thought them absurd , Ithink the Forester appears to be a well thought out vehicle as it appears to me to be utilitarian in design , always a good thing to me .

            My Son’s Subarus are the lower & tighter Legacy & WRX wagons , nice but kinda small for wagon use IMO .

            I happen to know quite a few Lesbains , most ride Motos , none drive Subarus , they’re people just like everyone else , I neither fear nor hate them .

            My wiseass comments may have offended , if so I’m sorry and apologize .

            -Nate

          • 0 avatar
            toomanycrayons

            “My wiseass comments may have offended , if so I’m sorry and apologize.”-Nate

            You’re being way too PC, Nate. I was joining in what I perceived to be your sarcastic assessment of the Forester-makes-you-lesbian threads. My wife loves her new Forester. She and her straight girlfriends put on their down vests, plaid shirts, boots and jeans and go shopping and lunching together. I think there are fragile males here who are simply intimidated by women having a good time without them. Some of those women drive Foresters. Regards, tmc.

          • 0 avatar
            -Nate

            A first ! .

            Me being called ” PC ” =8-) .

            I was chastised here for other comments and don’t like stepping on toes in spite of being very opinionated .

            Now , let’s get back to the thrilling adventures of ‘ TTAC The Movie ‘ ! .

            -Nate

  • avatar
    OldandSlow

    A Cayenne is not the sort of vehicle driven by an illegal immigrant in my part of the world.

    In Texas the failure to stop and render aid after an injury accident with a pedestrian will get you in more hot water than a driving while intoxicated charge.

    With the video posted on the local news, he or she better have a good lawyer. In the video, the Cayenne driver did apply the brakes, but not hard enough.

  • avatar
    dartman

    …since it was Oakland why didn’t you say, “That means that the driver might well be uninsured or even what we now call “undocumented; or possibly a young black, unemployed gang member”

    Fyi –You don’t have to be documented to buy insurance, and for that matter to get a license in California under new law.

    Racism no matter how subtle is always ugly…

    • 0 avatar
      imag

      Seriously. That line was just a random smear on a group of people with absolutely no evidence.

      The last person who hit and run my car was a “documented” Caucasian. And he was driving a $3K car.

  • avatar
    Beerboy12

    Hit and runs happen all the time. Illegal immigrants… assumptions, Prejudiced one at that.
    It’s not OK to hit a pedestrian and drive off, ever, the vehicle is frankly irrelevant.

  • avatar
    ErSchmecktGut2

    It could have been alot worse, Jack. It could have been a Porsche Carrera…

  • avatar
    Sam P

    “Undocumented” folks seem to prefer 1990s/early 2000s General Motors products around where I live.

    Guessing the driver of the Porsche was a low-level drug dealer who managed to get a Cayenne off a Buy Here/Pay Here lot.

  • avatar
    Lorenzo

    There’s always anguish and denial when you find out your sister is a hooker. At some point you have to accept the fact that Porsche is no longer a “pure” sports car maker, and is now just another division of the Volkswagen juggernaut.

  • avatar
    Tinker

    No, it was just a VAG joke. No reason to bring ex-wives into it.


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