Small SUV Crashopalooza: Detroit Loses, Dykes Win
SUVs are usually regarded as safer than small cars. However, “most of the small SUVs tested for safety in crashes did not fare well in more stringent tests” performed by the Insurance Institute for Highway Safety (IIHS), Reuters says.
“US small SUVs scored badly,” writes the wire. Top honors took a trucklet that, according to the Urban Dictionary, is “driven by post-menopausal lesbians:” The Subaru Forester.
The Forester is the only small SUV that received a “good” rating in the newly added Small Front Overlap Test. The Mitsubishi Outlander Sport received an “acceptable” rating on the overlap test, and made second. The Forester and the Outlander were the only small SUVs to be awarded the IHS “Top Safety Pick+.”
The best-rated Detroit trucklet is the Buick Encore on place 6 with a poor Small Overlap rating. The Jeep Wrangler brings up the rear with a truly mediocre showing. Boo, hiss, Detroit – pussy-whipped by a Japanese transgender crossover that is also known as a “vag-wag?”
PS: Before you start to tar and feather me for Detroit bashing LGBT discrimination, please be notified that according to the all-knowing Wikipedia, the term “dyke” originated “as a derogatory label for a masculine woman, and this usage still exists.” Shame on them. “However, some persons attempt to use it in a manner that they see as positive, or as a neutral synonym for lesbian,” and those persons include the Schmitts.
Bertel Schmitt comes back to journalism after taking a 35 year break in advertising and marketing. He ran and owned advertising agencies in Duesseldorf, Germany, and New York City. Volkswagen A.G. was Bertel's most important corporate account. Schmitt's advertising and marketing career touched many corners of the industry with a special focus on automotive products and services. Since 2004, he lives in Japan and China with his wife <a href="http://www.tomokoandbertel.com"> Tomoko </a>. Bertel Schmitt is a founding board member of the <a href="http://www.offshoresuperseries.com"> Offshore Super Series </a>, an American offshore powerboat racing organization. He is co-owner of the racing team Typhoon.
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Nice Job BS. I thought you were running a car site.(:
I'm not sure what's funnier, Bertel's headline or the flock of self-important whiners it brought out of the closet and into conniptions. Well done, Mr. Schmitt! (There's a Subaru in the driveway as I type this.)