Rolls-Royce, Now With Advanced Tautologic

Bertel Schmitt
by Bertel Schmitt

Do you have a truly bespoke pair of shoes, hand-made, to the tune of $1,000? Or a truly bespoke suit, not just one off the plebeian racks of Armani or Ermenegildo Zegna? Watch out, “bespoke” is losing its worth faster than a dollar during the peanut president regime. Oddly, it is Rolls-Royce that is behind that dangerous paradigm down-shift.

According to most dictionaries, from Oxford to Webster, “bespoke” simply stands for “custom, made to order,” something that sounds just right on the shingle of any tailor, whether on Savile Row or in a seedy side street of Kowloon. Now, the meaning of the term “bespoke” is slowly fading into “fancy,” or “high end.” Even in the pages of TTAC, the word “bespoke” has been used to gussy-up a simple top-line Acura.

The forces behind this semantic race to the bottom appear to be aligned with Rolls-Royce. As anybody in the high-end business knows, a Roller is hardly bought off the rack. Or, in the words of a Roll-Royce press release, “nearly every Rolls-Royce Phantom and almost three in four Rolls-Royce Ghosts sold around the world are commissioned with Bespoke personalisation.”

So, they are Custom, made to order personalizations? Made by Two twins? Sold at a High expensive price? The effects of this tauto-logic are wide-spread. From Autoevolution to Motor Authority , car blogs have reprinted Rolls-Royce’s silly press releases for multiples of 12 Month years. Next step: Tailors will have to remove the term from their shingles, because Rolls-Royce’s parent will Trademark the patent on Bespoke. As you may have noticed, they already capitalize the B in Bespoke, soon they may want to capitalize on it.

Bertel Schmitt
Bertel Schmitt

Bertel Schmitt comes back to journalism after taking a 35 year break in advertising and marketing. He ran and owned advertising agencies in Duesseldorf, Germany, and New York City. Volkswagen A.G. was Bertel's most important corporate account. Schmitt's advertising and marketing career touched many corners of the industry with a special focus on automotive products and services. Since 2004, he lives in Japan and China with his wife <a href="http://www.tomokoandbertel.com"> Tomoko </a>. Bertel Schmitt is a founding board member of the <a href="http://www.offshoresuperseries.com"> Offshore Super Series </a>, an American offshore powerboat racing organization. He is co-owner of the racing team Typhoon.

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  • Ron B. Ron B. on May 15, 2013

    Rollers are for the nouveau riche . People with an excess of fiscal security tend to own cars like mercedes 600's which are understated and attractive. Anyone who likes the look of a Rolls phantom would also like the emporor's new clothes.

  • Ron B. Ron B. on May 15, 2013

    Amani and Zegna are not bespoke. When you are fitted for your bespoke suit you make an appointement with your tailor. he checks your measurements against last seasons ,he may suggest a different pinstripe or tweed ,and a new shirt color.If you have bought new shoes, the length will be adjusted . They do a fitting and you can have it delivered or pick it up yourself in 3-4 weeks . The account will be payable at the end of the month. I cannot imagine anyone buying a zegna suit going to that extent and cost isn't everything. The most expensive part can be flying to London and catching a cab to Saville Row.

    • Waftable Torque Waftable Torque on May 16, 2013

      The real value of a custom suit is the second and third fitting, where adjustments can be made before delivery. My tailor was off the beaten path, so I paid about $100 USD in taxi fares. The majority of his business was from upscale tailor shops from downtown Ho Chi Minh City in District 1, which outsourced production to him. That's not an unusual business model, since many Kowloon tailor shops outsource to nearby Shenzhen to increase their margins. Their value-add is the convenience of location in the tourist areas, as well as the ability to staff English speakers. Sometimes you have to put up with their quirks though. For some reason, my tailor likes to use Pierre Cardin linings and will sew in the fabric identifier markings indicating thread count and mill source. He even sewed "Sean John" in the inner waist band of my pants, the part of the fabric roll he's supposed to throw away.

  • Lie2me Lie2me on May 16, 2013

    I guess it's real classy to eat dinner out of the trunk of your Bespoke Rolls Royce...I'll bet the Kardashians do it all the time.

  • Junebug Junebug on May 16, 2013

    So, if I'm reading this right, if I go to Jesse James and get him to build me a bike it's "bespoke" and the same if I get Danny the Count to build me a 51 Buick with a bar in the back. I could enjoy this.

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