New Lamborghini Explicitly Targets The Friendless Wealthy

Jack Baruth
by Jack Baruth

Fresh from displaying the Venereal at the Geneva show and announcing that it, would, in fact, be building the Anus SUV, Lamborghini has now released a very special car that is likely targeted at a very, ahem, special person.

The Lamborghini Egoista concept takes one of the uncomfortable truths of supercars — the passenger seat is usually either empty or occupied by a prostitute — and makes that truth something awesome! By eliminating that inconvenient extra bucket entirely, the Egoista makes solitude pleasantly mandatory. “Oh,” the Egoista owner could say, “a lot of people want to ride around with me in this ridiculous contraption. But, of course, there’s only the one seat!” This car could do wonders for our current trading deficit with Estonia.

The balance of trade with Italy, on the other hand, is likely to be significantly tilted in the other direction. Pricing for the Egoista, should they actually build the thing, could reach four million dollars. That’s a lot of cash for something that looks suspiciously like a rejected design for one of those Hot Wheels that nobody ever buys because it isn’t based on a real car. Power will come from an engine of some sort and the Egoista is expected to easily match the average Vortech-blown Fox Mustang notchback on drag slicks in the quarter-mile while delivering slightly worse fuel economy.

Who’s going to buy it? Well, does anybody know a fellow who is worth a few billion dollars but who is extremely uncomfortable around women and/or male friends? Hell, there are a few people like that. Lamborghini might not be able to keep this thing in stock.

Jack Baruth
Jack Baruth

More by Jack Baruth

Comments
Join the conversation
2 of 32 comments
  • Demetri Demetri on May 14, 2013

    It's probably been 4 years since I last carried a passenger, but even I would still want the passenger seat there, just to place cargo on.

  • Slow kills Slow kills on May 14, 2013

    "Power will come from an engine of some sort and the Egoista is expected to easily match the average Vortech-blown Fox Mustang notchback on drag slicks in the quarter-mile while delivering slightly worse fuel economy." Quoted for truth!

  • 2manyvettes Since all of my cars have V8 gas engines (with one exception, a V6) guess what my opinion is about a cheap EV. And there is even a Tesla supercharger all of a mile from my house.
  • Cla65691460 April 24 (Reuters) - A made-in-China electric vehicle will hit U.S. dealers this summer offering power and efficiency similar to the Tesla Model Y, the world's best-selling EV, but for about $8,000 less.
  • FreedMike It certainly wouldn't hurt. But let's think about the demographic here. We're talking people with less money to spend, so it follows that many of them won't have a dedicated place to charge up. Lots of them may be urban dwellers. That means they'll be depending on the current charging infrastructure, which is improving, but isn't "there" yet. So...what would help EVs more, in my opinion, is improved charging options. We also have to think about the 900-pound gorilla in the room, namely: how do automakers make this category more profitable? The answer is clear: you go after margin, which means more expensive vehicles. So...maybe cheaper EVs aren't all that necessary in the short term.
  • RHD The analyses above are on the nose.It's a hell of a good car, but the mileage is reaching the point where things that should have worn out a long time ago, and didn't, will, such as the alternator, starter, exhaust system, PS pump, and so on. The interiors tend to be the first thing to show wear, other than the tires, of course. The price is too high for a car that probably has less than a hundred thousand miles left in it without major repairs. A complete inspection is warranted, of course, and then a lower offer based on what it needs. Ten grand for any 18-year-old car is a pretty good chunk of change. It would be a very enjoyable, ride, though.
  • Fred I would get the Acura RDX, to replace my Honda HR-V. Both it and the CRV seats are uncomfortable on longer trips.
Next