By on May 14, 2013

Cheaper and no worse looking. Suzanne is laughing right now. Aren't you, Suzanne? Picture courtesy Anonymous

Fresh from displaying the Venereal at the Geneva show and announcing that it, would, in fact, be building the Anus SUV, Lamborghini has now released a very special car that is likely targeted at a very, ahem, special person.

It's just horrible. Picture courtesy Lamborghini

The Lamborghini Egoista concept takes one of the uncomfortable truths of supercars — the passenger seat is usually either empty or occupied by a prostitute — and makes that truth something awesome! By eliminating that inconvenient extra bucket entirely, the Egoista makes solitude pleasantly mandatory. “Oh,” the Egoista owner could say, “a lot of people want to ride around with me in this ridiculous contraption. But, of course, there’s only the one seat!” This car could do wonders for our current trading deficit with Estonia.

The balance of trade with Italy, on the other hand, is likely to be significantly tilted in the other direction. Pricing for the Egoista, should they actually build the thing, could reach four million dollars. That’s a lot of cash for something that looks suspiciously like a rejected design for one of those Hot Wheels that nobody ever buys because it isn’t based on a real car. Power will come from an engine of some sort and the Egoista is expected to easily match the average Vortech-blown Fox Mustang notchback on drag slicks in the quarter-mile while delivering slightly worse fuel economy.

Who’s going to buy it? Well, does anybody know a fellow who is worth a few billion dollars but who is extremely uncomfortable around women and/or male friends? Hell, there are a few people like that. Lamborghini might not be able to keep this thing in stock.

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32 Comments on “New Lamborghini Explicitly Targets The Friendless Wealthy...”


  • avatar
    thanh_n

    It looks like it could be a Decepticon in the next Transformer movie.

  • avatar
    motormouth

    They’ll not sell many. Every Monty Burns has his Smithers wanting to come along for the ride.

  • avatar

    Well, most people who do not yet have a family drive alone most of the time.

    But this eliminates the option of having a passenger, which seems absurdly restrictive.

    What’s the advantage of a car restricted to just one? It looks just as large as a regular supercar.

    D

  • avatar
    Flybrian

    “one of those Hot Wheels that nobody ever buys because it isn’t based on a real car.”

    I love that I’m not the only one!

    Still waiting for my 1/64th diecast of a 2000MY Bonneville SSEi instead of the sixtieth iteration of the toilet car…

    • 0 avatar
      stevelyon

      Man, me too – I thought I was the only one who roots through the peg stacks looking for real cars.

      • 0 avatar

        Me as well. Then you would have that one aunt who would get you “The Jet Threat” or something becuase it looked wild. That one always ended up on the bottom tray of the carrying case and was first to get evicted when you got the new Mustang.

        Oddly enough the weird ones are the surviviors becuase I never played with them.

  • avatar
    thelaine

    Single seat and tinted windows for the discreet masturbator.

  • avatar
    Landcrusher

    Excellent Hot Wheels joke!

    How to spend huge bucks to chase off women? Maybe there is a market selling them to jealous wives to give their husbands?

  • avatar
    lon888

    Yecch – that thing is butt-ugly. I’d much rather have the Miata monoposto thingy above it.

  • avatar
    Jean-Pierre Sarti

    We all laugh but look at how many ridiculous iterations of all types of super cars you see on the blogs that I presume somebody is buying. These wanna be car makers have to find some suckers to keep the lights on.

    • 0 avatar
      Landcrusher

      There is so much wrong with your post. If you want to criticize the car, that’s perfectly okay. Calling the company a wannabe car manufacturer is kind of sad. Who the hell are you? Pardon me if you run Toyota, but I suspect your personal level of success isn’t up to being compared to Lamborghini or most of their “sucker” customers. The reality is that the vast majority of people who buy super cars earned their money and aren’t suckers. When you make that kind of comment it makes you look small rather than them.

      Sorry about singling you out, but there are too many of these types of posts on these sites taking swipes at buyers of certain types of cars. Much of it is good fun, but I suggest that most of us should leave it to the writers rather than cross the line.

      • 0 avatar
        Jean-Pierre Sarti

        Poe’s Law in action … it must be, it surely is, hopefully it is?

        • 0 avatar
          carrya1911

          Could it be that this is the automotive equivalent of Piero Manzoni’s work?

        • 0 avatar
          Landcrusher

          I don’t know. What was your intent? Sarcasm, hyperbole? The pet peeve of mine is the suckers remark. I have had a few BMWs. I constantly read all sorts of things about BMW drivers. I now own a Volvo, and I read about them as well. And the luxury SUV, which was the best vehicle i will probably ever own got me caught up in some really vicious generalizations.

          It’s ridiculous.

          • 0 avatar
            Tick

            Landcrusher. I second. The snide jabs get tiring. Glad to see that for once I’m not the only one pointing this out.

            To those who can’t help but take swings at anyone driving something nicer than a used Crown Vic: Sorry life didn’t work out the way you all wanted. Maybe you should look for the common denominator in your life’s shortcomings.

  • avatar

    So, in using a name like Egoista, is Lamborghini (and VW by extension) laughing with their customers or laughing at them?

    • 0 avatar
      niky

      Considering they’re calling their SUV the “Urus”, which is short for “UR-anus”, I’m beginning to wonder.

      • 0 avatar
        carrya1911

        Vehicle production as a method of trolling…I like it. As if the designers sit in a room and muse about designing an absolute wreck of a vehicle with one seat and then essentially name it after the concept of having an enormous ego, stating to each other “Nobody would buy it.”

        Then another team comes along and says “Einstein said that the difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits. We think the same is true of taste. We have not yet begun to plumb the depths of bad taste and complete obliviousness…so we’ll build your silly car, sir, and we guarantee that billionaires who dabble in recreational slavery will be lined up to buy them.”

        Then the car is made, orders are placed, and the losers have to buy a round for the winners…who skulk off and come up with an even sillier concept in a race to find out where the bottom actually is.

        • 0 avatar
          carrya1911

          …actually this is where the reference to Manzoni’s work was supposed to go. This is what comes from hitting the wrong reply button, shame encapsulated forever in blog comment form.

        • 0 avatar
          niky

          If you’re really only going to make very few cars and charge a liver, kidney and a spleen for them, it’s a good way to go.

          Ssangyong famously tried this tactic with the Stavic and Actyon. Nobody was buying anyway, might as well go full quirk on the cars to at least capture that segment of the market. Not that they sold like gangbusters, but they sold.

          Appealing to illogical whimsy is a good market strategy when you’re selling products that only the whimsically illogical will buy.

    • 0 avatar
      juicy sushi

      Lamborghini is laughing at them, all the way to the bank. You cannot create concepts like this without a finely judged sense of outrage. It’s the only internal metric that let’s you adequately judge the authenticity.

      Or perhaps the guys at Lamborghini doing the design work are laughing with them, and the guys at VAG approving this thing laughing at them?

  • avatar
    niky

    From generic Venereal Disease straight to Mono.

    That said, it looks pretty nice. Nice until you realize how clumsy the proportions are from side-on because it’s built off a car designed to seat two abreast. It’s as if Lamborghini decided to fix the Veneno’s styling by making it look awkwardly bottom-heavy, instead.

    I bet Lamborghini will sell all of them. like they did the Veneno. Then they’ll go and make a concept that seats no one, and that you can only drive via remote, through your smartphone.

  • avatar

    I can buy a 1970s single-seat Pitts for much less.

  • avatar
    JuniperBug

    I always thought that McLaren’s decision to put three seats in the F1 was genius. Because if your million dollar supercar can’t help you land two girls in bed, what’s the point?

    • 0 avatar
      corntrollio

      Peter Gibbons: What would you do if you had a million dollars?
      Lawrence: I’ll tell you what I’d do, man: two chicks at the same time, man.
      Peter Gibbons: [laughs] That’s it? If you had a million dollars, you’d do two chicks at the same time?
      Lawrence: Damn straight. I always wanted to do that, man. And I think if I had a million dollars I could hook that up, ’cause chicks dig a dude with money.
      Peter Gibbons: Well, not all chicks.
      Lawrence: Well the kind of chicks that’d double up on a dude like me do.
      Peter Gibbons: Good point.
      Lawrence: Well what about you now? what would you do?
      Peter Gibbons: Besides two chicks at the same time?

  • avatar
    cargogh

    How does that porcupine joke go?

  • avatar

    That’s a lot of hand-wringing and whining over a one-off concept.

  • avatar
    redliner

    Egoista… Italian (and Egoísta in Spanish) for “Selfish”

    How fitting.

  • avatar
    Demetri

    It’s probably been 4 years since I last carried a passenger, but even I would still want the passenger seat there, just to place cargo on.

  • avatar
    slow kills

    “Power will come from an engine of some sort and the Egoista is expected to easily match the average Vortech-blown Fox Mustang notchback on drag slicks in the quarter-mile while delivering slightly worse fuel economy.”
    Quoted for truth!


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