QOTD: Your Automotive 10 Plagues

Derek Kreindler
by Derek Kreindler

Passover is upon us, and starting tonight, the Zionist Occupation forces of TTAC’s editorial roster (as well as our 44th President, and Road Tester Emeritus Michael Karesh) will refrain from eating bread as we recall the Exodus from Egypt, and the last time The Tribe ever did any manual labor.

In honor of this momentous blockbuster occassion, which spawned the blockbuster film starring Charlton Heston, I’d like to discuss the 10 Plagues that currently afflict us car fans. Brett Berk did one a couple years back, but it’s time to update it. My own list, which I will spill 10 drops of wine for both tonight and tomorrow

  1. Homogenous vehicle offerings
  2. Overly complex touch screens
  3. Nonsensical CAFE regulations
  4. Pedestrian safety dictating automotive design
  5. The Chevrolet Camaro
  6. Inflated used car prices
  7. Road salt
  8. Non-trade barriers like FMVSS and the Chicken Tax
  9. Autoplay Youtube videos on automotive sites
  10. Jeremy Clarkson’s writing being taken as gospel

Feel free to share yours.

Derek Kreindler
Derek Kreindler

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  • Gearhead77 Gearhead77 on Mar 26, 2013

    Non defeatable and aggressive "driver aids" such as TCS especially in FWD cars. I can supposedly disable the VSC in my Altima, but not the TCS? Touchscreen interface for anything. The idea of the vehicle as a "mobile hotspot". Not being able to find or offered a manual in anything but the base car. Lifetime fluids and propietary fluids, but this is nothing new. The disappearance of the minivan unless it's a Toyota, Honda or Chrysler. People paying even less attention to their driving. People who speed through parking lots and residential areas. It's not hard, look at the speed limit, look at your speedometer. More than 5 over in a heavy residential zone, too much. More than 15 mph in a parking lot is too much IMHO. But, see above... Wheel sizes above 18 inches. I'd say 16, but that's getting to be the small size. Cheap tires, mainly due to increasing wheel size. Still having a wait and see attitude on diesel vehicles in the US, due to sh!tty cars thirty years ago. Honorable mention: Self driving cars and unmanned aircraft(drones). When the former takes over, will we be able to deal with it? How long before the latter is used as another form of traffic enforcement? As a pilot, the UAV(unmanned aerial vehicle) scares me more.

    • See 1 previous
    • Gearhead77 Gearhead77 on Mar 27, 2013

      Toshi, I am a 5 owner and I do consider it to be a mini-minivan. But it's just a bit too mini for our growing family. It will become my car next year when our Altimas lease expires and we get a larger van. The Odyssey is the front runner, I'd like to give the Sienna SE a shot, though I usually find Toyotas too soft for my taste. The wife doesn't like the styling on the Quest or the CVT. The Chrysler doesn't seem as well done as the others in terms of quality, design or engineering. My inclusion of the minivan on my list is due to the fact Ford and GM gave up trying to produce or market a decent van for easy SUV profits. A minivan can easily and more efficiently carry most family duties than any SUV. If Mazda made a larger van, I'd be there.

  • Azmtbkr81 Azmtbkr81 on Mar 26, 2013

    1. "The lack of “real” SUVs with low-range 4WD and decent suspension articulation" - cribbed from Toshi's list, couldn't have said it better myself. 2. Popularity of CUVs. 3. Bad wheel/tire combinations including wheels > 17 inches, chrome wheels, low profile tires on SUVs, etc. 3. Loud subwoofers...thought these went out of style a decade ago. 4. Turbos as substitute for displacement. 5. Disappearance of small pickups. 6. Crappy Chinese manual in Mustang GT. 7. Going to junkyard and realizing parts you need are gone. 8. Lack of standardized and modular ICE systems. 9. Getting stuck behind a city bus. 10. Having to buy new cars at a dealership.

    • Troyohchatter Troyohchatter on Mar 27, 2013

      I made an effort not to read anyones prior to putting mine up. Looks like we were lockstep on a couple of our observations. I dont' know if that's a good thing or not.....

  • Troyohchatter Troyohchatter on Mar 27, 2013

    In no particular order. 1. SUV's becoming "lifted' station wagons. 2. Overly complicated basic controls (three knob climate control anyone?) 3. Base HP much higher than it needs to be, MPG being 5-10MPG lower than it should be. 4. Death of the basic rubber floor/seats/4cyl/5spd small truck. 5. Narrow seats/wide center consoles (My 1992 Festiva had more front seat room than the current 4400LB Taurus). 6. Turbos/direct injection overrated real world MPG benefits. 7. Basic options requiring purchase of multi thousand dollar packages. Try to get a cruise control or USB port on something without a sun roof and alloys. 8. Backseats in mid and full sized sedans not large enough for people over 5'5". 9. Fancy lights, displays, switches, etc substituting for functional ergos (related to #2, I must admit). 10. GET OFF MY LAWN!!!!

  • Kvndoom Kvndoom on Mar 31, 2013

    1) The automatic transmission 2-10) repeat answer #1 above

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