Was it this guy? Who knows? But somebody finally decided to sue Porsche for their hilariously (if you don’t own a Porsche) failure-prone M96 watercooled boxer engines. Of course, the M96 has more than one known reason for going “pop” unexpectedly and turning on that “Drive to workshop and buy $11,750 Remanufactured Engine” light, but the IMS is the most frequent offender.
Now Porsche’s been forced to say that they’re sorry in that most American of ways — the class-action settlement. But since Porsche is Porsche, the devil is in the details. And there’s a hole in the list of covered VINs big enough to drive my 2004 Boxster S “550 Spyder” Anniversary Edition through.
You can read the whole thing at Rennlist, but some of the salient points are:
- Cars through 2001-2005 are covered.
- But if they were put in service more than 10 years or 130,000 miles ago, they’re not covered. So unless you bought your 2001 Boxster as a four-year-old dealership dust bunny, you can go directly to hell.
- If you bought it used and failed to pay for a Porsche warranty, you are not covered.
- The amount of financial assistance from Porsche is limited and may amount to less than half of the actual costs.
- All the usual Porsche warranty exclusions apply as well.
I happen to lightly hurdle over all of those requirements, so I’m very excited. But what’s this? There’s a list of affected VINs being passed around, and there is a hole in the WP0CB29894U range. (Yes, my Boxster was assembled in Finland. VALMET M76 FOR LYFE, bitches.) Hey!!! What happens when my IMS fails? I guess it’s true that Porsche never forgets a dissenter, huh?