By on March 3, 2013

Editor’s note: This article contains a discussion of organs. Not those in churches, more the ones found between legs. If this offends you, please don’t exercise your right to click-through. If you click through, please don’t complain that you found a story about private parts instead of car parts. If you do express outrage, we will understand that this was for the benefit of the moral police at your workplace or home. 

I’m approaching an age when one is more likely to be thinking about hip replacements than about hip hop or being hip, so I’m not really sure who Ke$ha is. I presume she’s a musician or singer or rapper of some kind because she apparently writes songs, one of them about her gold Trans Am and at The Truth About Cars we can dig songs about cars. Well, she says it’s about her Gold Trans Am, but in reality, it is about her ladyparts.

If you don’t believe me, click on that YouTube link while at work and later you can tell us all about your meeting with HR – it is definitely rated Not Safe For Work. (On second thought, our technical team assures us that it can be viewed with “Safe” settings on at YouTube.  YoiuTube must be going down the YouTubes.) Considering that one of the most common automotive cliches one will see or hear is that men drive big cars or sports cars or SUVs or whatever to “compensate” for some kind of anatomical or sexual “shortcoming”, I find Ke$ha’s recent comments to Q magazine rather humorous.

[Gold Trans Am] began as a song about my car, which is a gold Trans Am, and it works about 40 per cent of the time. I don’t have another car because I love that one so much. But then like all great pop it became a metaphor for something else – my pu**y. But my vagina is in tip top working order. Valeted and souped-up and working 100 per cent of the time …

I was in seventh grade once too, so the jokes practically write themselves. Is her “Trans Am” the High Output version? Has it been bored and stroked? What’s the displacement? Does it come with a blower? Is there a factory approved lubricant or is it lubed for life? I’m sure the Best and Brightest can come up with your own. Tire tracks all across her back indeed.

Now I’m not saying that no man has ever written a song ostensibly about a car but actually with salacious intent (or non-automotive songs with salacious intent). I’m pretty sure that Ike Turner offered a backup singer or two a ride on his Rocket 88, and that’s considered to be the first rock ‘n roll song ever. I’m also pretty sure that if the lead vocalist of some cock-rockish band today said that “this song is about my d*ck”, most folks would just laugh at him, just like Zappa did 40 years ago when mocking B’wana Dik’s “Harley”.

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Discuss among yourselves. I’m going to go watch some Archer reruns.

Ronnie Schreiber edits Cars In Depth, a realistic perspective on cars & car culture and the original 3D car site. If you found this post worthwhile, you can dig deeper at Cars In Depth. If the 3D thing freaks you out, don’t worry, all the photo and video players in use at the site have mono options. Thanks for reading – RJS


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56 Comments on “Ke$ha’s Gold Trans Am is a Metaphor For Her t—What?...”


  • avatar
    MrWhopee

    I am dissapointed that this article fails to include any pictures of Ke$ha’s Trans am, or better yet, the parts mentioned in the song. Didn’t you do any research at all before putting up this article? ;P

    • 0 avatar
      tatracitroensaab

      Agreed. On a side note I think a lot of the hate on ke$ha is unwarranted. Yeah she’s tacky and ridiculous but that’s kind of the point. She’s a talented artist who’s doing something original, and that is something to be proud of. People like Rihanna may be vocally talented but their music is synthesized by producers who follow the trends, not make them. This is also to say nothing of the artists who have nothing but luck, looks, business acumen, and a knack for stealing songs.

      • 0 avatar
        thelaine

        tatra, I am ashamed to admit that I have not followed the career of kei$ter as closely as I might have, but I’ll bet most of the critical commentary is in the form of ridicule rather than true bile-spewing hate speech. Admittedly, the word “hate” has lost the meaning it has had since its origin and is now apparently synonymous with “criticism, however mild, particularly of celebrities.” (It is also now a verb, to “hate on,” the existence of which does periodically send me into violent rages and involuntary 3-day psychiatric evaluations).

        What she may be doing that is original is also a mystery to me. Didn’t Madonna make a career out of singing about HER high-mileage vagina?

      • 0 avatar
        TW4

        Thing is, her brand isn’t really that original. When she first arrived on the scene, I thought for sure she was from the trash pop group Millionaires, who’d already gained underground success for their garish interpretation of US ‘it girl’ pop music.

        I consider myself fortunate. By the time Millionaires and Ke$ha began gaining publicity, I was nursing the last hangovers of my wasted youth. I consider myself fortunate to have missed out on the mainstream slutpocalypse.

        • 0 avatar
          thelaine

          “Slutpocalypse.” Nice.

          May she one day be blessed with proud daughters.

        • 0 avatar
          28-Cars-Later

          Can I still get tickets to the slutpocalypse or is it sold out?

          • 0 avatar
            thelaine

            28 Cars, that is just the sort of juvenile comment that is spoiling the intellectual tenor of this entire thread.

          • 0 avatar
            28-Cars-Later

            You’re certainly welcome to disagree, but I think it was pretty clever. Also, lighten up friend this thread isn’t up for the Pulitzer.

          • 0 avatar
            thelaine

            Joke. Just a joke. Thought your comment was hilarious. I would like tickets too.

          • 0 avatar
            28-Cars-Later

            You got me, sarcasm is sometimes tough to detect on a message board :)

          • 0 avatar
            thelaine

            Agreed. Comedy is risky. I was actually referencing a comment further down the thread. I have no idea whether was it meant to be serious or not, but it was an irresistible target.

          • 0 avatar
            Monty

            It was sarcasm – although it’s difficult to see the intention, now that I’ve reread it. A little more snark, and I think my intent would have shown.

          • 0 avatar
            thelaine

            I get it Monty. I did the exact same thing. I would analyze the irony, but I am not smart enough.

    • 0 avatar
      raph

      Damnit now I wan’t to know what sort of Trans-Am she has as well?

  • avatar
    PrincipalDan

    “The best engine in the world is the vagina.

    It can be started with one finger.

    It is self-lubricating.

    It takes any size piston.

    And it changes its own oil every four weeks.

    It is only a pity that the management system is so temperamental.”

    There is my bad joke for the day.

  • avatar
    Monty

    Thanks Principal Dan, you made my morning with that one!

  • avatar

    Yesterday, Channel Stuffing, today, this. :-)

    Anyone else think that photo of Frank Zappa looks like Jack Baruth?

  • avatar
    DeadWeight

    I must confess that I did find her candida regarding her vagina refreshing, and hope that there aren’t douches interjecting themselves into this topic that suppress such candida.

    • 0 avatar
      AFX

      Now I’m thinking Tony Orlando and Dawn:

      Candida.
      We can make it together.

    • 0 avatar
      redav

      For the record, “to ejaculate” = “to suddenly say or shout something” and is famously used in Wuthering Heights (as proudly noted by every high school student, ever).

      I’m just going to throw that out there, without context.

  • avatar
    AJ

    Makes me want to dig out my matchbox cars from the 70s/80s, as I’ve got a gold Trans Am! But I never thought of that car this way… LOL

  • avatar
    ...m...

    You may think I’m foolish
    For the foolish things I do
    You may wonder how come I love you
    When you get on my nerves like you do
    Well baby you know you bug me
    There ain’t no secret ’bout that
    Well come on over here and hug me
    Baby I’ll spill the facts
    Well honey it ain’t your money
    ‘Cause baby I got plenty of that
    I love you for your pink Cadillac
    Crushed velvet seats
    Riding in the back
    Oozing down the street
    Waving to the girls
    Feeling out of sight
    Spending all my money
    On a Saturday night
    Honey I just wonder what you do there in back
    Of your pink Cadillac
    Pink Cadillac

    Well now way back in the Bible
    Temptations always come along
    There’s always somebody tempting
    Somebody into doing something they know is wrong
    Well they tempt you, man, with silver
    And they tempt you, sir, with gold
    And they tempt you with the pleasures
    That the flesh does surely hold
    They say Eve tempted Adam with an apple
    But man I ain’t going for that
    I know it was her pink Cadillac
    Crushed velvet seats
    Riding in the back
    Oozing down the street
    Waving to the girls
    Feeling out of sight
    Spending all my money
    On a Saturday night
    Honey I just wonder what it feels like in the back
    Of your pink Cadillac
    Now some folks say it’s too big
    And uses too much gas
    Some folks say it’s too old
    And that it goes too fast
    But my love is bigger than a Honda
    It’s bigger than a Subaru
    Hey man there’s only one thing
    And one car that will do
    Anyway we don’t have to drive it
    Honey we can park it out in back
    And have a party in your pink Cadillac

  • avatar
    AFX

    I’m not visualizing “gold Trans-Am” for this story. I’m thinking more along the lines of an 8-door Checker Aerobus limo, or a link to YouTube showing a video with a bunch of illegal Mexicans running out of a cargo van during a highway arrest while Yakety Sax plays in the background. Maybe one of those clown cars they use at the circus.

    That nasty thing should be Trampled Under Foot.

  • avatar
    ajla

    Better a gold Trans Am than a blue AMC Marlin.

  • avatar
    50merc

    Historian Jacques Barzun wrote a book about the last 500 years of Western culture. It’s called “From Dawn to Decadence”. Jeez, he got that right, didn’t he?

  • avatar
    slow kills

    Sadly, Rhianna’s “Shut Up and Drive” is not really about cars either.

    • 0 avatar

      Joni Mitchell’s Big Yellow Taxi is also not about saving the environment.

      • 0 avatar
        thelaine

        I kind of suspect Aretha Franklin’s “Freeway of Love” might have been about more than driving as well. You think?

        Of course, Grace Jones wasn’t even really trying with “Pull up to the Bumper.” Even I was able to figure that one out. Grace was a freak show, but I still don’t recall her giving TMI gynecology interviews after she released the song.

        • 0 avatar
          spykesta

          Wait a minute “pull up to my bumper baby with your long black limousine” was just a metaphor damn I really was innocent back in the day as I totally missed that reference at the time. I just bought she really liked to be chauffeured around to clubs..

          • 0 avatar
            thelaine

            Don’t blame yourself spykesta. I did my master’s thesis on “Singing Vaginas, a Critical Analysis of the Channel Stuffing of America.”

            I wasn’t actually enrolled in college when I wrote it, but I keep it handy, just in case.

  • avatar
    Summicron

    Meh…. 14 years ago Jay-Z released “Jigga my N****”

    No one is shocked because no one expects much else.

  • avatar
    Austin Greene

    Wow, and all this in the week Van Cliburn died.

    Seems like American culture is swirling around the drain.

    • 0 avatar

      There was a time when popular culture included a modicum of high culture. Today, pop culture is more influenced by thug and prison culture than the world of Beethoven and Shakespeare. What’s there to learn from all those dead white guys?

    • 0 avatar
      redmondjp

      No Austin, this is nothing new.

      About 30 years ago, I learned to play on the piano the song “In The Mood” which was originally written in the 1920s. Many years later, I finally bought an original copy of the sheet music which included the lyrics – yikes! They were EXTREMELY racy for the 1920s, which I think explains why you only hear the instrumental version of the song!

      When I learned to play the song, I had no idea, none at all . . .

  • avatar
    TW4

    The genius of Ke$ha (I just vomited a little bit) is that she understands Southern Bible Belt culture. I’m not talking about the religio-fascism of the rural outlying areas. I’m talking specifically about the kids from good homes, with disciplined parents, who often adhere to religious discipline as a social-contract to achieve wealth and high income. The suburb of Brentwood, TN is a perfect example, though you could just as easily mention Woodlands, TX or Southlake, TX or Cornelius, NC or Roswell, GA.

    Basically, these kids are taught to work hard and stay in school. A culture they happily adhere to until they come of age. Then they realize that the consequence of long summers spent in watery oases is wet, scantily-clad, bronze-skinned members of the opposite sex. The notion of remaining chaste for a decade to pursue academics and career seems utterly preposterous; especially when they realize their parents were married at 21-22 not 26-27. They try to reconcile nature and nurture, but they are irreconcilable ethea. From there, the whole culture begins to unravel, and you’ve got a bunch of relatively wealthy kids, with cars and phones, coordinating debauched activities. It was bad in the late-90s and early-00s. I can only shudder at the thought of how bad it must be in the age of social media.

    So one of these Southern girls moves to LA (back to LA in this case), where a mic is put in front of her, and a camera is pointed in her direction. The result is predictable–a girl with a strong love of mullet-rocket Trans-Ams and skimpy outfits. She tries to attract men with superlatives about her ‘golden cock pit’ b/c she’s struggling with feelings of inadequacy after a decade of competing for the affections of school alpha males against the Katherine Webbs of Brentwood. She’s been singing against Southern girls with more talent, as well.

    Anyway, if you want to know why this oppressive culture is infecting your airwaves, this is what happens when you mix Southern suburb bible-belt angst with the LA cosmetic-surgery slutpocalypse. Very unique.

    • 0 avatar
      thelaine

      Truly excellent TW4. Makes it harder to judge her. So that’s bad.

      Now, please explain Madonna, the original vagina-gazer.

      • 0 avatar
        TW4

        Madonna is a just a bisexual tractor beam with a hormonal imbalance. She likes to test her power by pitting herself against another cultural black hole: clandestine religious mysticism. This alternative persona was apparently forged after she was raped in NYC :(

        I can’t say much about Madonna’s upbringing b/c I know little of Detroit suburban life. She was raised by one parent after her mother died. Ke$ha lacked a father, I believe. Some parallels.

  • avatar
    Monty

    Thank you to the commenters in this thread – this could have easily devolved into a juvenile discussion, but the tenor of the conversation has remained at an intelligent level. Again, thanks.

  • avatar
    Summicron

    “religious discipline as a social-contract to achieve wealth and high income”

    So true and not just in the bible belt. Knock the ritual and you’re out of the tribe, you’ll have to do your achieving elsewhere and have a nice life.

  • avatar
    Advance_92

    Archer reruns? You would back up your old man cred better if you referenced Dr. Katz instead.

  • avatar
    AFX

    All we need now is the Indigo Girls singing about a Subaru Tribeca, preferably one with Ford’s Mystic purple paint job.

  • avatar
    rpn453

    The artists were far more direct about this stuff during my youth. Take Closer, for example . . .

  • avatar
    MadHungarian

    It’s obviously time for that popular car face-off, Gold Trans Am vs. Little Red Corvette . . .

  • avatar
    Domestic Hearse

    I prefer the original Trans Am tease girl, the Flying Nun in tight jeans, piloted around by a rogue with a big, fuzzy mustache and a wry, knowing grin. She was so off-limits, so carnally wrong, yet that’s what made it so good, and why the car was black with a phallus-meets-vulva sticker on the hood.

    Huh? I’m dating myself? Sorry.


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