From XL-1 to Veneno, Volkswagen Shows Cars For Everyman

Bertel Schmitt
by Bertel Schmitt

The volks who worry about Volkswagen being incapable of directing its big band of brands should make a trip to Geneva. Today, the boys from Wolfsburg launch a barrage at all target groups.

Aimed at the “blogger who drives mother’s old Celica and googles for super car pics” segment, Lamborghini delivers more bull:

Lamborghini’s 750 hp Veneno fits that segment like a USB gaming glove, and it is priced right: At an MSRP of $4.65 million, the production run of three (yes, three) is probably just right. Five would be channel stuffing.

The design – clearly inspired by the package design of overclocked Taiwanese motherboards, with a riff on late night vegetable cutter infomercials – is perfect. The crowd loves it. The engine, well, the engine still needs some work. Despite finely honed product planning, the target audience is complaining. Not about the price of the car. About its lack of power: Just 750 hp? The covers were barely pulled off the latest bull by buxom product specialists, and the target audience is already moaning into its keyboards:

“My reaction wasn’t ‘750hp, Holy crap!’, but rather ‘Really? That’s it?’”

+1 , +1, +1

“Its like seriously WTF.”

There will be some who complain that the three 750hp Lamborghinis will seriously enlarge the WTF ozone hole. For those, Volkswagen offers, on the other side of the spectrum, its 261 mpg XL-1 super green machine.

Prices are still a secret, the rumor machine cites six figure numbers. Like Lamborghini’s bull, the XL-1 is made from sheets of hand-laid unobtanium and provides similar cramped interior space. Volkswagen brought what looks like this year’s full production run to Geneva.

For the silent majority,.Volkswagen shows at least 6 Golfs, from a natural gas powered Golf TGI Bluemotion all the way to a hot station wagon, the Golf Estate R-Line.

The bull gets the Tweets, the Golf gets the volume.

Bertel Schmitt
Bertel Schmitt

Bertel Schmitt comes back to journalism after taking a 35 year break in advertising and marketing. He ran and owned advertising agencies in Duesseldorf, Germany, and New York City. Volkswagen A.G. was Bertel's most important corporate account. Schmitt's advertising and marketing career touched many corners of the industry with a special focus on automotive products and services. Since 2004, he lives in Japan and China with his wife <a href="http://www.tomokoandbertel.com"> Tomoko </a>. Bertel Schmitt is a founding board member of the <a href="http://www.offshoresuperseries.com"> Offshore Super Series </a>, an American offshore powerboat racing organization. He is co-owner of the racing team Typhoon.

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  • Nick Nick on Mar 05, 2013

    There's a rumor going around that the design of the Veneno was pilfered from the Hot Wheels discard bin.

  • Marko Marko on Mar 05, 2013

    Veneno? Sounds like a Buick...

  • Lou_BC Maybe if I ever buy a new car or CUV
  • Lou_BC How about telling China and Mexico, we'll accept 1 EV for every illegal you take off our hands ;)
  • Analoggrotto The original Tassos was likely conceived in one of these.
  • Lorenzo The unspoken killer is that batteries can't be repaired after a fender-bender and the cars are totaled by insurance companies. Very quickly, insurance premiums will be bigger than the the monthly payment, killing all sales. People will be snapping up all the clunkers Tim Healey can find.
  • Lorenzo Massachusetts - with the start/finish line at the tip of Cape Cod.
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