By on February 7, 2013


Trolls ‘R’ Us

The campaign for TTAC’s Top Troll goes into its final stretch. Nominations for the TTAC Top Troll Poll have been made.  Some folks received multiple nominations, but we will not declare a winner just yet. The Top Troll will be decided by popular vote. Tomorrow, Friday, we go to the Top Troll Polls. But first, we need your help.

TTAC Top Troll Poll Candidates
Nominee Nominated by On
DeadWeight Chocolatedeath 2013/02/05  at 11:05 am
Volts on Fire Secret Hi5 2013/02/05 at 11:48 am
Tresmonos Self 2013/02/05  at 12:04 pm
Bigtruckseries Jack Hammer 2013/02/05  at 12:05 pm
Pch101 Jack Hammer 2013/02/05  at 12:05 pm
Buickman Frillo 2013/02/05 at 12:18 pm
APaGttH Frillo 2013/02/05 at 12:18 pm
86SN2001 Frillo 2013/02/05 at 12:18 pm
stryker1 Self 2013/02/05 at 12:31 pm
psarhjinian Self 2013/02/05 at 12:55 pm
MDBT Self 2013/02/05 at 6:08 pm
Bluto Self 2013/02/06 at 7:26 am
Muttley Alfa Barker Self 2013/02/06 at 8:07 am
Lorenzo Self 2013/02/06 at 9:45 pm

After sifting through nearly 300 comments, and ignoring repeated comments that this is just to generate repeated comments, here is the list of candidates, along with the people who nominated them. Remember, there will be two winners: The Top Troll, and the commenter who nominated the winning Top Troll first. Repeated nominations are not listed.

Please, check the list and note any inconsistencies. Remember: Nominating a TTAC editor or author counts as an immediate self nomination.

Should any worthy trolls be found missing in your opinion, now is the time to nominate them. The primary will close tonight, and tomorrow, it’s Top Troll Poll time. And don’t forget: There is the double secret rule, which will be unveiled when it is too late.

Today, we run a procedural vote:

Should self nominations be admitted to the poll? Without them, the final poll would be less cluttered. If you feel strongly about keeping them: It’s your vote that counts.

This poll has been removed.

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77 Comments on “TTAC Top Troll Poll: Here Are Your Nominations...”

  • avatar

    1st prize: a brand new Cadillac Eldorado

    2nd Prize: a set of steak knives.

    3rd Prize is: YOU’RE BANNED.

    How did I not make the top 3?
    And why is CJinSD not up here? With his anti-Obama administration, anti-government, anti-bailout commentary???
    Or: Null-Modo with his virulently pro-Ford “Egoboost” praise worship???

    • 0 avatar

      Are you just asking, or are you nominating CJinSD and Nullomodo? Declare yourself.

      • 0 avatar

        Technically, you got the most votes for top troll, which I wholeheartedly agree with.

      • 0 avatar

        Bertel, I have to say that this list is kind of boring. Probably due to the fact that this is newsworthy site with some great writers, but less SEO than Autoblog or Jalopnik, most of the comments are pretty quality. Even the closed minded “brand x sucks” commentators usually post a good paragraph of made up reasons why, instead of the literal “brand x sucks” that would be seen on Autoblog. And I’m not sure I see the sport in banning people. Making someone register for a new throwaway e-mail account (AKA banning) is something that should be done reluctantly to disruptive people, not for sport.

        However, in order to make the list more interesting I request that Ray Wert be unbanned so that I can nominate him. I also nominate myself. I only ask that anyone that vote for me also suggest a new username for my next account. These are not easy to come up with.

      • 0 avatar

        I nominate Nullomodo. If I can be nominated for supposedly being anti-ford, he should be included for being outrageously and undeservedly drunk and high on Ford.

      • 0 avatar

        Nullo’s insider info adds a unique aspect to a tread without piling on praise. You’re simply on the Ford jihad and second guess every FMC marketing decision without a shred of research (or commonsense), just pure assumptions.

        I’m not necessarily in favor of total banishment of anyone, troll or not.

      • 0 avatar

        Couldn’t be more wrong Denver…cute story though.

      • 0 avatar

        They say not to feed you guys, but OK… How would Ford profit from keeping the Panther and Econoline alive indefinitely or building replacements for these fleet and obsolete dinosaurs?

      • 0 avatar

        They say not to feed the truth? Hmm, I must have missed that one.

        The answer to your question is simple though. Just UPDATE THEM!

        See? That was easy.

      • 0 avatar

        “Just UPDATE THEM!”

        Thanks, and that’s exactly what GM would do. How long did GM keep putting new lipstick on the Chevette, Citation and Cavalier pigs? Then there’s the ’04-’05 Chevrolet Classic (that was classic!) and one other that were 100% fleet. Fleet only vehicles… Wow, that’s bound to catch on eventually, no???

      • 0 avatar

        Yeah, good thing Ford didn’t do EXACTLY that with the F-150 right?

        I mean, it’s the exact same as it was when it went on sale in 1975…yes NINETEEN SEVENTY FIVE…..38 (THIRTY EIGHT) years ago.

        A simple powertrain upgrade would have made the Ranger a money printing press for Ford. Smaller truck that the FAR-TOO-BIG F-150, actual capability, great fuel economy, etc.

        The 2.0 Turbo 4 and the 3.5 V6 with a 6-speed behind each would have been all that was needed to act as a stop gap before a new USA Ranger could be developed. I would be driving one right now. Same for the Panthers. A simple powertrain swap and interior upgrades (to align them with the rest of Ford’s cheap interiors) would have been all that was needed to keep them fresh and modern (maybe a few exterior tweaks). Then Ford would still have the livery market, police market (Taurus/Explorer is a joke), and they would be making FAR more money for Ford as the tooling/factory./etc is already paid for.

        But no, Ford rather force people out of jobs and make families go through hard times because they are too lazy to do simple things like I stated above..

      • 0 avatar

        You’re completely insane! I shouldn’t keep feeding but, the F-series is the absolute most profitable line of vehicles on the planet. About 40% of sales are premium, Lariat and higher models. F-series and E-van & Panthers fleet queens aren’t even on the same stratosphere! Nothing’s changed on the F-150 since 1975??? You are nuts…

        The Ranger was also a fleet, base model queen and definitely, absolutely not worth investing in. The small and midsize truck market died long ago so why beat a dead horse.

        You know less than nothing about the markets you troll about!

      • 0 avatar

        DenverMike: Ignore, the 86 guy is funny once in a thread. You read it, roll your eyes and move one. But once you feed him it just gets crazy and out of any reality. So tiresome.

      • 0 avatar

        “I mean, it’s the exact same as it was when it went on sale in 1975…yes NINETEEN SEVENTY FIVE…..38 (THIRTY EIGHT) years ago”

        “But no, Ford rather force people out of jobs and make families go through hard times because they are too lazy to do simple things like I stated above..”

        Yep, it’s everyone else with the truth problem. Are you really this messed up or do you only play as a mental patient on the internet?

      • 0 avatar

        See Denver, you just don’t get it.

        My answer to your question on how to keep whatever models you mentioned profitable was to update them. You dismissed that idea stating GM did that with some models years ago, blah, blah, blah.

        I retorted by saying that updates are EXACTLY what Ford has done with the F-150 since 1975. C-L-E-A-R-L-Y the F-150 of 35+ years ago is not the same as the one today.

        And why is that………..?

        Oh yeah, that pesky thing called UPDATING your product as the market dictates.

        Also, a citation is needed for the 40% sales number that you provided.

        Keep in mind that the Panthers/Ranger/and E-Series became what they are/were because Ford is NOTORIOUS for letting products rot on the vine (<—that's an industry term for NOT DOING UPDATES to a product). You let a product rot on the vine, people stop buying it.

        So, in one comment you PAN updates and give a snarky remark about GM, then, in a following comment you praise the F-150 up and down by saying (with no citation mind you):

        "the F-series is the absolute most profitable line of vehicles on the planet. About 40% of sales are premium, Lariat and higher models."

        Assuming the above quote of yours in true, would you agree it's because Ford updates the F-150?

        You, sir, are a hypocrite.

      • 0 avatar

        Loser, it’s called sarcasm you troll. Obviously the F-150 is not the same as a 35+ year old POS.

        Maybe if you would read the entire post rather than pick out words and twist them around like a leftist political blog, you would get more from the post and realize that the point I made completely supports what Ford has been doing since Big Al the baboon started.

      • 0 avatar

        The Ranger lived past it’s life cycle because it’s business case proved it could without updates. An update wasn’t in the cards due to capital allocation by top brass (of course). Look at is as a glass half full: the plant, minimal engineering support and sales kept it alive until government regulations and sales dropped into the red.

        Same goes for the Panther.

        Both plants also were never upgraded to be ‘modern.’ So why keep building in them when other plants could run at full capacity? The product markets evaporated. Why update a vehicle to a market that can’t support a product line?

      • 0 avatar

        @86 here’s the citations you asked for

        And I obviously you don’t know the difference between an update and an entirely new generation.

        1980: all new F-150 generation
        1997: all new F-150 generation
        2004: all new F-150 generation

        I’m done.

      • 0 avatar

        Ok, let’s look at the problems:

        PROBLEM 1:
        Here is what you stated: “the F-series is the absolute most profitable line of vehicles on the planet.”

        Then you provide a link showing that the F-150 is the most profitable vehicle. The F-150 is not the F-Series. It’s actually just 1/7th of the “F-Series”

        Problem 2:
        Here is what you stated: “about 40% of sales are premium, Lariat and higher models.”

        Then you post a link that states 30%.

        lastly, a “new generation” is a very nice umbrella term for a BUNCH OF UPDATES.

        You’re still a hypocrite. Either updates are good or they’re not. You cannot deny that had the Panthers/Ranger/E-Series saw decent, meaningful updates, their life would have been longer and more profitable.

        I hate to break it to you, but using your own evidence, it’s clear that updates work. I’m not sure why you’re against them.

      • 0 avatar

        You said “Yeah, good thing Ford didn’t do EXACTLY that with the F-150 right?”

        Then I said the F-series is the most profitable line on the planet. I misquoted the article, but still absolutely right. You’re completely sidestepping the point on technicality?

        Still, getting back on topic, why would Ford cancel the most profitable (F-150) line on the planet? And what the heck does the F-150 (or entire F-series for that matter) have in common with the out going and gone E-van, Panther and Ranger???

        40% was off the top of my head, but again, you’re trying to sidestep a great point on a technicality. It’s not working. The E-van, Panther and Ranger were mostly fleet queens and most went out the door in basic trim.

        Maybe you should look up the definition of “UPDATING” where it applies to autos.

      • 0 avatar

        “it’s called sarcasm”

        Silvy, Good, glad you’re not that whacked out after all. I’m not the only one that thought you were serious. You post so much crazy crap it’s hard to tell when you’re being serious or sarcastic. Example “Buick has an A+++ lineup” and about the diesel Cruze; “This car will print money for GM”. Ranger; “A simple powertrain upgrade would have made the Ranger a money printing press for Ford”.

    • 0 avatar

      It seems to me, the most logical way to do this is to have a simple poll with potential Top Troll names on it and just let people vote.

    • 0 avatar

      Because there’s a difference between being strongly opinionated – even (arguably) obnoxiously so – and being a troll. Anti-Obama, anti-bailout, anti-union etc. is not trollish. “The Kenyan impostor did this to distract from his fake birth certificate” is trollish.

      Which is why neither you nor PCH, nor CJinSD, should be on there, though given the frankly bizarre nature of the poll, I can’t blame you for taking some pride in being on the list.

      • 0 avatar

        CJinSD will bring up his biases at the drop of a hat but I don’t believe he is trolling. More so he just reminds me of most tea party types: painfully misinformed and overly assured of his views regardless of reality. But he definitely is near Volts on Fire in his prejudices.

      • 0 avatar

        “Anti-Obama” is trollish, since we’re on an international car review / discussion site and not a US politics site. Anti-bailout, anti-union… I may disagree but at least one can argue the connection to automobiles (more for the former than the latter though).

      • 0 avatar

        The more I think about it, and figuring I have nothing to lose and everything to gain at this point, CJinSD endlessly taking any story and turning it into politics, at a level that would even make Bertel envious, is worthy of having him added to the list.

    • 0 avatar

      Egoboost? Nullomodo? Really? You had just better go ahead and nominate me.

  • avatar


    I want to voice my disagreement with this contest, again.

    None of the folks on your list are trolls, really. They are opinionated and that’s a good thing.

    Can you include a button that allows us to vote for Nobody if we really believe that nobody should be banned? I looked over the nearly 300 comments in your last article and most folks shared my sentiment that none of these folks are trolls.

  • avatar

    VanillaDudue should be un-banned and invited back, I still vote for him, and of course, VoltsOnFire. Both are very funny and must be kept around.

    Psar? Absolutely not – he’s too intelligent!

    Nullo-Modo a troll? Are you kidding? He’s either a dealer or works for one, so his insight is refreshing. Of course he’s going to promote Ford! Nothing wrong with that!

  • avatar

    I actually registered just to comment on this. I have been lurking here for years (2009? 2010?). I think this contest is beneath TTAC. Stupid, divisive, and sophomoric. Next maybe we can have a dick size contest.

    Being the internet, I’ll tell you all that mine is about 3 meters.

  • avatar

    As much as I appreciate my trolling getting some recognition, it was my second damn comment on the whole site. Self nominations should be excluded, because I have not put anywhere near the amount of work and idiocy into trolling as the likes of the bigtrucks etc. They are truly kings of idiot kings, and should be recognised accordingly. But not Pch101, since that guy is the most intelligent and incisive writer (excluding Murilee – hooniverse wants you back!) on the site.

  • avatar

    It seems rather telling that half of the 14 candidates are “self-nominations.” What does that tell you?

  • avatar

    I vote for pch101. Even his last comment on the weird manual transmission article is troll’ish.

    “Car: 1, Human:0” adds nothing to the discussion.

  • avatar

    I’d tell you who’s the top troll right now.

    But you’d ban me.

    WTF does this topic have to do with CARS? hmmm, hmmmm.

    When most of your readers are saying there isn’t a troll problem. And people stuggled to put togther a list of “trolls” That should tell you something.

    Instead of calling this stupid witch hunt off, you continue to dig.
    Heres a hint. Stop going after your readers, if theres a real troll problem they will let you know.

    Apologize to your fan base, use some lame excuse, like lack of sleep, forgot to take my pills, bla bla bla. And all will be forgotten.

    continue on this path, and you’ll be like other blogs: Trollin for clicks. or becoming wastelands

  • avatar

    I am throwing a vote down for Jesus.

    Turn the other cheek?

    Love thy enemy?

    Hanging out with prostitutes, murderers & other low-life degenerates, let alone guaranteeing them eternal salvation?

    Hatin’ on commerce in the Temple?

    He trolled the Roman & Jewish Establishment BIG TIME.

    Pontius Pilate even threw his hands up and admitted he had gotten Rick Rolled badly, & the Jewish religious elders panicked at his troll-a-lol-lol.

    Plus, he had A HUGE a martyr complex.

  • avatar

    Can we have negative votes?

    If so, I unvote for Deadweight – generally he’s a pretty good commenter and he has maybe the greatest avatar ever. It would be a shame to have him bannished.

  • avatar
    Muttley Alfa Barker

    I will accept being voted upon if I get the 1986 Saab 900 turbo ragtop Seth1065 promised.

  • avatar

    As a moderator on a large car detailing forum (yeah, there is such a thing) I have to say that every now and then it gets boring. Hell, who am I kidding, it’s boring as listening to your CFO give an indepth presentation on the company finances. So, a troll wakes things up a bit, gets the old blood going. The only time I ban any of them is if they start the yo-mama stuff and it gets personal!

    • 0 avatar

      Hey! I’ve actually been looking for a good detailing rec. Care to pass along a referral to said forum? Nobody in the Acura forum I frequent knows where to get a decent interior detailing job in the Boston area, though everyone seems to know plenty of places that do good paint correction.

      This is OT of course, but the T doesn’t exactly merit much concern.

  • avatar


  • avatar
    Secret Hi5

    Just to clarify: Volts on Fire was first nominated by DubTee1480.

    My comment was a cheeky reference to VoF.

  • avatar

    Frequent reader, infrequent commentor here. I think it’s great that you allow comments, great that you put the time in to moderate and enforce a reasonable troll / flame policy, and it’s produced noticable results. This is the only sight that I’ll actually read the comments on…but that’s maybe 1 article out of 6 or 7 at best.

    This seems like an exercise in navel gazing to me. Isn’t the stuff ABOVE the comment line a little more important than the dozen or so regulars below it?

    • 0 avatar

      “Isn’t the stuff ABOVE the comment line a little more important than the dozen or so regulars below it?”

      I don’t think so. Great articles are just that, but if myself and others can’t comment freely and of course, respectfully, I won’t return to the site very often, if ever. It’s a big internet out there and without an open forum below the article, the best you can be is just another Jalopnik.

      It’s also aggravating when an article or commentor is wrong and your comment has to be processed before it may possibly appear. Or you have to audition to be a commentor. Besides, authors and editors have to be politically correct and we don’t.

  • avatar
    Dave M.

    I’m thinking this whole excercise is a gigantic Baruthian-level troll…and I love it. The comments the other day that Autoblog or Jalopnik would never stoop to this level iced the cake. That’s the point. THAT’S THE JOKE.

    But seriously, the best trolls have been staff members/writers. Which is what has brought me back to this site numerous times a day for nearly 10 years.

    There are many times I’ve not agreed with the editors. But man have I learned alot about different perspectives from some of the best writers in the business.

    Kudos, y’all.

  • avatar

    I nominated myself but don’t see me on the list. Tresmonos nominated himself (or herself) and got on the list. What gives?

  • avatar

    Choose your own writers and administer your site the way you think fairest

  • avatar

    Of course, the irony is that voting for the obvious winner results in a “self nomination.”

    As for posters, there is only one who I can think of who may be a genuine troll. And that handle has not been included on the list above, even though he was nominated more than once.

  • avatar

    My favorite are the people who consistenly find a post at the top of the comments to reply to, no matter what the article. Tells me they’re more interested in seeing their own name in print than adding any value to the discussion. I have someone specific in mind but they’re already on the list

  • avatar

    Wow, I get one nomination, a few people posting I don’t deserve to get nominated and I’m on the finalist list.

    Thank you, thank you, thank you.


    I’ll take my prize is unmarked tens and twenties, easier to launder that way.

  • avatar

    Bertel, my comment is censored.

  • avatar

    Bertel, I give up! Both of my comments are censored .

  • avatar
    Austin Greene

    Volts On Fire

  • avatar

    Didn’t see jimmyy on the list, he was nominated a few times.

  • avatar

    I don’t think anyone on that list is a troll, I appreciate almost everyone’s comments, they are interesting and insightful. Well, bigtruckseries can get annoying but only because he plugs his own reviews and I think he’s trying too hard to be controversial. But he’s not a troll. Dumb plan for this site, we as a whole are better than that.

  • avatar

    I vote CJinSD (nobody needs the Tea Party Express on a car forum) and Derek Kriendler (seriously, every article he posts is an attempt at baiting some group or another). I unvote almost the entire current list.

  • avatar
    Domestic Hearse

    In order to elevate the level of automotive information, witty discourse, and civility on my computer this morning, I’m going to click out of TTAC and head on over to Jalopnik.

    Because this thread, and the one that prompted it? Shark tank, waterskis, and a guy in a leather jacket and swim trunks.

  • avatar

    Can we add DenverMike to the list of trolls? He is a late up and comer with observations like the world is forced to use diesel as a fuel (not that they chose it voluntarily) or that the US doesn’t like diesel b/c he doesn’t see them much in SoCal and his local utility company has mainly gas trucks (let alone the fact that CARB pretty much makes diesels too hard to get a foothold there). Just read up on his ignorant diesel posts (many, many of them) in the cruze and ram diesel threads.

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