Vellum Venom Vignette: The Aftermarket Fixes All!

Sajeev Mehta
by Sajeev Mehta

The problem with the FR-S’ unrefined bumps, lumps and Trapezoid Homage to the 1977 Mercury Cougar now has a decent solution. And what of this workaround? It’s brutal. It’s borderline inexcusable. But my goodness, it works…too bad I’m making you click to see it.

BAM, SON!

A gigantic wing with mounting points that emulate the Cougar trapezoid form: all of a sudden the decklid has purpose! The hunks of metal (aluminum?) empathize with the trapezoid butt and the slant of the taillights. And will you look at the decklid’s Bangle Butt with a big-ass spoiler on it? Not for a while!

Too bad there’s a downside.

Wings are pretty retarded. You need the stance, the wheels, the wide-body flares and all the streetability compromise that comes with. (Piston Slap moment: insert LSX-FTW swap here) This is pure race fantasy, but this FR-S (okay, BRZ) makes it work. And it proves that purposeful race design can be both functional and beautiful. Just don’t try this at home, kids…

Sajeev Mehta
Sajeev Mehta

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  • HiFlite999 HiFlite999 on Oct 05, 2012

    At least the wing may actually be doing something beneficial for aero at semi-normal speeds.

  • Lorenzo Lorenzo on Oct 05, 2012

    No! No! No! Just look at all those sharp creases and flat surfaces. This car is a perfect vehicle for a return to two-tone, three-tone, multi-tone paint jobs. Imagine a palette of pastels doing battle with primary colors. It's time to bring back the wonderful, colorful Nineteen-Fifties and defeat the black/white/silver monotony - we might even get chrome bumpers back!!

  • Master Baiter There are plenty of affordable EVs--in China where they make all the batteries. Tesla is the only auto maker with a reasonably coherent strategy involving manufacturing their own cells in the United States. Tesla's problem now is I think they've run out of customers willing to put up with their goofy ergonomics to have a nice drive train.
  • Cprescott Doesn't any better in red than it did in white. Looks like an even uglier Honduh Civic 2 door with a hideous front end (and that is saying something about a Honduh).
  • Kwik_Shift_Pro4X Nice look, but too short.
  • EBFlex Considering Ford assured us the fake lightning was profitable at under $40k, I’d imagine these new EVs will start at $20k.
  • Fahrvergnugen cannot remember the last time i cared about a new bmw.
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