Current Generation Range Rovers Set For Massive Depreciation As New Model Debuts

Derek Kreindler
by Derek Kreindler

Owners of current shape Range Rovers are bracing for devestating depreciation, as the introduction of the next-generation car looms, making owners of the current vehicle look like pathetic try-hards saddled with an out-of-fashion luxury vehicle.

The new model (pictured above), which sheds 700 lbs and carries styling cues similar to the white-hot Evoque crossover, will debut at the Paris Auto Show in late September. A new 8-speed automatic and 5.0L V8 engine are expected to improve efficiency and performance, while the rampant electrical glitches and air suspension failures are likely to carry over to the new model.

Derek Kreindler
Derek Kreindler

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  • Stuki Stuki on Aug 16, 2012

    They did keep the tall, upright, decent visibility greenhouse, thank goodness. That's really their main practical selling point by now. In addition to helping offroad, it enables petite trophy wifes to see the Miata in front of her before running it over. If she was instead piloting a Land Cruiser, she would run the risk of running over a 911 instead, putting the husband who paid for her car at risk.

  • Luke42 Luke42 on Aug 17, 2012

    Wow, this is sooo not my segment.....!

  • Naterator Naterator on Aug 17, 2012

    This headline reads straight out of The Onion. Cheers!

  • Dontsilencethetruth Dontsilencethetruth on Sep 15, 2012

    wow, am disappointed on the comment from Derek Kreindler," making owners of the current vehicle look like pathetic try-hards saddled with an out-of-fashion luxury vehicle" dude have you ever owned a range rover?? and why would you think that the new model makes my 2011 vogue look pathetic and out of style??? regardless of depreciation buying a range rover is not just for anyone, I mean if you can't afford one then don't dare, derek you must really envy one or just can't afford one, then comparing european cars to american is just wrong, what suv does america have to compare range rover to?? what? jeep, ford, hammer etc, seriously???? i mean america can build planes, houses, sky scrappers and anything big but america sucks ass in cars period, am patriotic but I will never drive american unless its teaching my 16yr old how to drive a shit car then later I can buy him a range, and yes sir, I own a range rover and its a 2011 model and I bet you it will still look stylish in 5yrs compared to any american suv

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