““This looks just like golf cart fires we have down here… I’ve worked homicide scenes with less secrecy. There have to be about 15 engineers down here working on this one.”
So spoke Fort Bend County, Texas, chief fire investigator Robert Baker, in the course of blaming a brand-new Fisker Karma for a house fire that did “over $100,000” worth of damage to a brand-new, completely tasteless stucco-pimple monstrosity of an “upscale home”.
According to AutoWeek, the Fisker Karma burned to the ground in the garage, immolating the Mercedes-Benz SUV and Acura NSX which were also trapped in the sad, monstrous affront to common decency and taste which featured cues from approximately six different periods of global home architecture. Fisker issued a boilerplate press release which indicated that they were looking into the cause of the blaze itself but offered no explanation as to why the house’s second-story window had some bizarre half-fence around it. I mean, is that supposed to keep children from falling out?
Fisker’s press release craftily mentioned the presence of fireworks in the garage, leaving the reader of said release to make the connection between drunken house-fire shenanigans and the kind of person who buys a crib like this and then fills it with fireworks. It’s possible that the house contained a bidet, and that the owner of the house was confused by said bidet, but Fisker wisely didn’t mention this, choosing to focus instead on the idea that an electrical panel in the area may have been incorrectly installed.
The owner could not be reached for comment, primarily because nobody from TTAC or Autoweek wants to go out to “the lake” and talk to people on pontoon boats all day looking for him.