By on May 24, 2012

Plenty of builders of plastic car models do a pretty good job doing “weathered” kits, but most focus on romantic images of Route 66-drivin’ classics rusting beautifully behind a wholesome-looking 1951 service station. I think what we really need is more super-accurate models of iconic American hoopties, and I don’t just talk the talk! So, it brings joy to my heart to see that a professional modelmaker truly understands proper hooptieness.
Etsy seller Classic Wrecks has quite a selection of 1:24-scale wretched beaters, hoopties, and the aforementioned Route-66-drivin’-classics in his online store. He also does custom work to order, which means I’m going to start scouring eBay for a Ford Tempo kit to be used as the centerpiece of a Shake-N-Bake meth lab diorama, set in a Muncie, Indiana vacant lot.
I may need to hand over the 65 bucks that will make the Hooptie Citation mine. After all, the Citation is a cherished piece of American automotive history.

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29 Comments on “1984 Chevy Citation Immortalized By Modelmaker With Eye For Hooptie-Correctness...”


  • avatar
    retrogrouch

    The 635i is fantastic.

  • avatar

    Wow…a NOTCHBACK Citation. I’m not sure I’ve seen one since 1984!

  • avatar
    Tomifobia

    I’m pretty sure the Citation had lost the amber turn signals in the taillights by ’84.

    • 0 avatar
      cfclark

      A little duct- or packing tape holding on the remains of at least one light lens, and it would be perfect.

      This is genius–outshines all the homemade miscellany on Etsy by a long shot.

    • 0 avatar
      redmondjp

      I believe that the X-11 versions still had the amber turns – it was typical for all of GM’s sportier models to use them.

      And due to the bean counters, virtually none of today’s cars even have rear amber turn lenses anymore, anybody else notice that? Even Honda has ditched them (they use to add them during the second iteration of a model run).

  • avatar
    GoesLikeStink

    Some of these are great! I would love to get one of my recently sold 65 Dart Wagon, It’s hooptieness would even test this skilled artist. But I am sure there is no kit for that car. Maybe my first car? A 68 Fury wagon wit the top cut off and duct tape interior? Probable not. Might have to look into a abused 87 Ford ranger though.

  • avatar
    dutch45810

    I was total with this Etsy guy until “Ford El Torino”

  • avatar
    Jellodyne

    That trunk really needs to secured with a tiny bungee cord.

  • avatar
    geozinger

    Meh.

    I built plastic scale models as a kid, even the ones we used in the backs of our dioramas were MUCH better quality than these. There’s far more details in a randomly maintained car than there are in a showroom quality car.

    I grew up in the rustbelt, cars dont’ rust the way he’s got them shown. On the Citation (which looks to be an X-11), it doesn’t show the scabrous loss of paint that usually precedes the sea of surface rust on the flat surfaces of the car’s body. This person hasn’t seen a true “Cockroach of the Road”, or at least reproduced it faithfully…

    $70 for one these? Really? What is he smoking? Can I get some?

    • 0 avatar
      Russycle

      Not seeing why you think it’s an X-11. Yes, many of the notchbacks were, but many weren’t. Not that I’m claiming, or wish to be, a Citation expert, although I did log a lot of hours in one.

      On a totally unrelated note, my Mini had wheels that looked like that. I never really liked them, now I know why.

    • 0 avatar
      rampriscort

      It looks to me that somewhere in the Citation’s life, a driver sideswiped a pole or wall, creating the scrapes along the lower side and damaging the rear wheel well, including ripping off the poorly-applied aftermarket fender flare. A late night attempt at cleaning up the damage while chugging a six-pack of Budweiser bared the metal on the rear fender to the elements and given the metal quality, the rust ate through it before the hangover wore off.

    • 0 avatar
      Yoss

      I really like his idea and I thought the execution looked pretty good at first glance. A lot his models do show rather peculiar rust patterns though.

      $70 seems like a lot, but when you figure he’s probably got at least $10 in the cost of the model and a couple bucks worth of materials and then all his time, he’s really not turning much of a profit. That’s the trouble with trying to place a value on handicrafts like this. Even if you’re paying yourself peanuts per hour the cost gets pretty high in a hurry.

      I know a few people that sell things on Etsy. They make things for a hobby — it’s just what they like to do. They don’t really make any money, but if it’s something they’d be doing anyway they figure they might as well get a little return on it.

      (I wouldn’t spend $70 on one either though.)

  • avatar
    McKennaR

    Hah! P&G gave my Dad one of these cars as a company car back in the very early 80′s. One of my earliest memories of the car, circa 1982 or 1983, was asking my parents why Dad had to ride the bus to work and we had to walk everywhere when there was a brand new car in the driveway…

    The company eventually gave Dad a Buick and relocated us to Ohio, so we just pushed the Citation out of the driveway and left it on the side of our street with a rod-knocking motor, slipping transmission, 4 flat tires and under 20,000 miles on the odometer.

    Awful, awful car.

  • avatar
    Nick

    This is awesome.

  • avatar
    Athos Nobile

    Nice!, but the flare side F-150 has a little problem: the fenders of that cargo box are plastic and don’t rust.

  • avatar
    ciddyguy

    Nice idea, but after looking through his products, he has some issues with his models, things like rust in places that one doesn’t usually see, like a rusty motor, if anything, they will be OILY and coated with dirt, but rust?

    That and the radiators showing rust on the outside, usually, they rust from the inside out, things like that.

    And none of these show the more common kinds of rust found outside of the rust belt, that is the surface rust from where the paint has weathered to almost nothing, which would be common here in the PNW for instance.

    Most of these look like they are beyond being hoopties, a hooptie simply looks like shit, mismatched wheels but is still running.

    I think that Citation is an X-11 as there looks to be a spoiler on the rear deck lid.

  • avatar
    iantm

    It’s weird. I haven’t seen a running Citation in years on the road until today when I saw two separate examples. A mint condition white five door (something of a miracle, considering that most were uber hoopty by the time 1990 rolled round) and a beater (how most appeared circa 1993) condition brown notchback. It felt as it a portal from the early 1990′s opened up today. The only tell that this wasn’t the case was that the cars had current PA plates instead of the blue on yellow or yellow on blue plates PA issued in the 80′s & 90′s.

  • avatar
    chicagoland

    I have an actual 1/25 scale model of a 1980 X-11 notchback, from when it was new, and I built kits regularly. This was before the X Car infamy, and I was a big GM fan. Also have a 1982 Cavalier hatchback model.

    This notchback came from oneof those old kits, good to see them used again!

    Oh, and to be picky, there were no notchbacks after 1983. [correct me if wrong, citations needed] ;-)

  • avatar
    Neb

    I love it. Sadly, I don’t think a Ford Tempo is out there…if Ford products were like Nazi tanks, you’d be spoiled for choice, but regular economy cars are rare.

  • avatar
    84GT-S

    Very nice. The trunk rust is especially well done. Monogram did a Citation X-11 kit in 1/24 scale. I’ve got a factory sealed one in the “to build” pile. As a long-time modeler, I tried a couple of rust buckets a couple of years ago – they are quite difficult to do. I used a Dremel to carve out the rust. On my first attempt, I Dremeled from the outside of the body, but the end result just does not look right due to the thickness of the plastic body. I tried again with the Dremel on the inside, with much better results. Here are my beaters on Flickr… http://www.flickr.com/photos/63462425@N06/sets/72157626887337550/

    • 0 avatar
      Justice_Gustine

      Great work! Some of those brought back memories.

      I once built a Mustang II model with bent rims, mismatched tires, dents, primer, rust, etc after reading “First Car Models” in National Lampoon, October ’74 (The $257 Ford, build it 3 ways: broken, dented or wrecked!). Stupid thing got more comments than my most painstakingly detailed “Shaker Corvette” model.

  • avatar
    Firestorm 500

    There is one thing he forgot. The proper hooptie should have at least one “donut” (temporary spare) on it, preferably bald and on the drive wheel.

  • avatar
    espressoBMW

    I work not far from Muncie, IN, and know a few people who actually live there. I’m sure I can get you some photographs for your diarama modeling. Your choice of lot type: convenience store, liquor store, elementary school, closed-up Chevy factory, many more.


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