Junkyard Find, Dude: 1988 Skater-ized Chevrolet Van

Murilee Martin
by Murilee Martin

When a truck gets turned into a band’s wretched gig-rig, you know it’s on its last owner prior to entering The Crusher’s waiting room. The same can be said about any car owned by Juggalos. Likewise, when a bunch of Denver/Boulder skater/snowboarder dudes get hold of a cargo van, that’s the end of the line. Here’s a thoroughly used-up Chevy G20 van that I spotted at a Denver self-service yard earlier in the week.

When you need to haul a dozen or so of your ragin’-est, board-equipped droogs to the mountains/ the pot dispensary/the dry swimming pool, nothing beats a great big windowless Molester Van for the task. You’ve got room for all your gear, plus cases of the local suds (and maybe even stronger stuff), and The Man can’t see everyone passing around the Sour-Diesel-packed four-footer in the back. Can you smell the stale weed smoke and sweaty socks through your computer screen?

Of course, sometimes conflicts arise over who gets the only passenger seat in the van. You can sit on a case of beer in the back and fight over who gets the proper seat… or you can establish a “Shotgun Code” for passengers. Note the enlightened vagina-beats-marijuana policy— these smooth-talkin’ dudes probably had no difficulty enticing XX-chromosome-equipped individuals into this totally unthreatening vehicle! There’s a stonily-executed nekkid-chick mural in the gallery, for those of you who aren’t reading this in The Man’s uptight cube farm.

Personally, I think the irony of using a GM “Dustbuster” minivan makes for a better Dudely Van™, but you take what you can get for $200 on Craigslist.








Murilee Martin
Murilee Martin

Murilee Martin is the pen name of Phil Greden, a writer who has lived in Minnesota, California, Georgia and (now) Colorado. He has toiled at copywriting, technical writing, junkmail writing, fiction writing and now automotive writing. He has owned many terrible vehicles and some good ones. He spends a great deal of time in self-service junkyards. These days, he writes for publications including Autoweek, Autoblog, Hagerty, The Truth About Cars and Capital One.

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  • El scotto Oh, ye nattering nabobs of negativism! Think of countries like restaurants. Our neighbors to the north and south are almost as good and the service is fantastic. They're awfully close to being as good as the US. Oh the Europeans are interesting and quaint but you really only go there a few times a year. Gents, the US is simply the hottest restaurant in town. Have to stand in line to get in? Of course. Can you hand out bribes to get in quicker? Of course. Suppliers and employees? Only the best on a constant basis.Did I mention there is a dress code? We strictly enforce it. Don't like it? Suck it.
  • 1995 SC At least you can still get one. There isn't much for Ford folks to be happy about nowadays, but the existence of the Mustang and the fact that the lessons from back in the 90s when Ford tried to kill it and replace it with the then flavor of the day seem to have been learned (the only lessons they seem to remember) are a win not only for Ford folks but for car people in general. One day my Super Coupe will pop its headgaskets (I know it will...I read it on the Internet). I hope I will still be physically up to dropping the supercharged Terminator Cobra motor into it. in all seriousness, The Mustang is a.win for car guys.
  • Lorenzo Heh. The major powers, military or economic, set up these regulators for the smaller countries - the big guys do what they want, and always have. Are the Chinese that unaware?
  • Lorenzo The original 4-Runner, by its very name, promised something different in the future. What happened?
  • Lorenzo At my age, excitement is dangerous. one thing to note: the older models being displayed are more stylish than their current versions, and the old Subaru Forester looks more utilitarian than the current version. I thought the annual model change was dead.
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