By on April 2, 2012

“What to call these?” tweeted @edmunds.com. “Dudemobiles? Guy Cars? Testosteroners?” And they linked to their scientifically prepared list of the cars with the most men as buyers. Not a list compiled by basement dwellers, but by Polk. The list reflects total purchases made in 2011. And we are counting down …

Number 10: Chevrolet Corvette. 86.9 percent males. Pictured above. At number 10, it practically counts as a girl car on this manly list.

Number 9: Ford F-Series. 87.0 percent males. Only number 9? F as in effeminate?

Number 8: GMC Sierra. 87.5 percent males. Now scientifically proven, more manly than a Ford truck.

Number 7: Nissan GT-R. 87.9 percent males. Carlos Ghosn drives one. That skews the stats.

Number 6: Porsche 911. 88.2 percent males. Because skirts ride up in these cars – German ingenuity.

Number 5: Ferrari California. 88.4 percent males. Driving one grows hair on your chest.

Number 4: Mercedes-Benz SLS AMG. 90.0 percent males. Even looks like a … guy.

Number 3: Audi R8. 91.4 percent males. This stat will drive Sindelfingen boinkers.

Number 2: BMW 1 Series M Coupe. 92.2 percent males. This stat causes uproar in Munich: “An Einser? Whats wrong with our Sexer?”

And the winner is:

Number 1: Ferrari 458 Italia. 95.3 percent males. Cazzo!

(Can someone open the window? It smells like a locker room.)

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64 Comments on “America’s 10 Most Manly Motor Machines...”


  • avatar
    tankinbeans

    The stereotypes live…

    • 0 avatar
      tankinbeans

      Judging from the comments that came not too long after this initial comment I guess it’s true, stereotypes die hard.

      I’ll leave the, “nice car, sorry about the penis,” crowd to measure those genitals and drive what I want. I’ve got nothing to prove to anybody.

    • 0 avatar
      VanillaDude

      Stereotypes are based on common sense and experience, but are not politically correct enough for some to admit to using unless it fits their political agenda.

      These vehicles are manly enough to assist Low-T men into getting back into the Game. Bless these wheels!

  • avatar
    alluster

    And the most girliest car(chickmobile) is any Toyota. 60% owned by women and the remaining 40% owned by girly men.

  • avatar

    The SLS looks like a…gal…compared to the SLR.

  • avatar
    missinginvlissingen

    I’m kind of surprised by the 1-series on this list. Isn’t it the cutest BMW available?

    I’d also like to see a list that excludes the small-volume models. We already knew that men are much more likely to buy an expensive car-toy than women are. Wouldn’t it be interesting to know how the mass-market models shake out?

    • 0 avatar
      afflo

      It seems that, most of the time, women want 4 doors, a tall seat, roomy trunk, and a spacious back seat for kids (present or future).

    • 0 avatar
      LeMansteve

      Perhaps the 128i convertible is a cute girl’s car, but not the 1M.

      • 0 avatar
        missinginvlissingen

        Aha, I didn’t notice the “M”, that makes more sense. Still, it’s low-volume. I still want to know about the cars that we see on real-life roads every day.

    • 0 avatar
      Mark MacInnis

      The didn’t index for ….orientation. I’d bet a fifth of Lochmandy to a pint of Guinness that there’s a relatively high number of male Einer drivers need to add a heel weight in their right loafer, if you catch my drift. And I’d further posit that many of the women who own the F-Series are big fans of women’s tennis, love flannel shirts and vacation in Vermont.

      Don’t hate me ‘cuz I tell it.

    • 0 avatar
      DC Bruce

      Well, you could have “afflo’s” stereotypical reponse, or you could have my stereotypical response which is: (1) women assign more priority to aesthetic values than men and the 1-series is pug-ugly and (2) women are more value-conscious than men and, compared to its better-looking, real-word-back-seat possessing, teensy-bit-slower big brother (the 3-series), the 1-series is a poor value at nearly the same price.

      And I have to read a review that says the 1-series drives better than the equivalent 3-series.

      As for me, if wanted a car that didn’t really have a back seat, I’d buy a true sports car — which is what I own. Otherwise, if I need a backseat, I’ll buy a car that has a pair that full-grown adults can actually occupy — which leaves out the 1-Series, the Lexus IS, Mustangs and MINI Coopers, among others.

  • avatar
    Junebug

    Hey Ally – which manly car on the list you drive? Yeah, thought so.
    I guess SOME guys have money and less penis than others. Or either they’re awfully insecure, exception – Magnum PI, but then it really wasn’t his car you know!

  • avatar
    Nostrathomas

    The California actually surprises me quite a bit. I always thought that car was the Ferrari tailored for the ladies.

    I also wouldn’t have been surprised to see a Miata here. As much flack as it gets from the public about being a chick car, when’s the last time you actually saw a woman drive one?

    • 0 avatar
      word is bond

      Agreed. It’s probably the most feminine 200,000 dollar car in the world.

      • 0 avatar
        CJinSD

        They’re bought by men for their trophy wives. They put the car in their own name so they have a poker chip when it is time for the next wife. A large percentage of the 911s I see on the street are driven by women too, perhaps in the same arrangement.

  • avatar
    Speed Spaniel

    The title of this article should be renamed:

    “What to drive if you have a small penis”

    The Nissan and 1 series excluded.

    • 0 avatar
      Steven02

      Yes, people buy trucks b/c they have a small penis. And I would definitely include the Nissan and 1 series in the list if that is the list you are making.

    • 0 avatar
      camundahl

      You are a genius man! I have a super small dick, so I love having vehicles that I can shred around a track and slide/have fun whenever I want! It makes having a small penis bearable! Women with really small pussies love it too!

    • 0 avatar
      jandrews

      OR, you might want to consider that some people:

      - Are not defined by their automobiles
      - Drive what they want

      This is my truck, doing what I do with it a lot of the time:
      http://i.imgur.com/S1Eu8.jpg

      Most people would argue this is a small penis mobile. But then, here is my truck about two years ago next to what I drive around town, to work every day, and almost everywhere else that asphalt leads to:
      http://i.imgur.com/Ly48w.jpg

      So do I have a tiny penis because I enjoy owning a 4-wheel drive truck for its fun and usefulness, or am I a secure, well-endowed male for being able to toodle through town every day in a hatchback-Corolla transport bubble?

      Grow up. I’ve known great people that made millions and great people that mowed lawns for a living. If all you judge people by in this life is one superficial trait you’re going to suffer for the duration of it. Have fun with that.

    • 0 avatar

      I suppose that I could come up with a more trite, hackneyed, overused, cliched and thoughtless misandric comment about motor vehicles and the human male appendage.

      By your standard, the Apollo astronauts “riding” atop a Saturn V must have all been gay men with microphalli.

      Just wondering, if men drive cars to compensate for having small penises, what cars do women drive, and what are women compensating for?

  • avatar
    Ubermensch

    The 1-series M is 92 percent male. I am guessing the 128i convertible 92 percent female?

  • avatar
    MrGreenMan

    For a large number of those, I am guessing that if you plotted age and sex, you’d find that they were largely purchased by 65+ year old men. All those two-seaters and effective two-seaters fit exactly the definition of vehicle as the single male’s and the romantic hero’s preferred ride — power on tap, only room for one and here she comes now — and the really expensive nature means that — kids are gone, house is paid off, checks are coming in from the government and the brokerage, time to buy a fun toy.

    I do remember a similar list not too long ago on Edmunds, and the old 3.7 Mustang, the Eclipse Spider, the MR2, and a bunch of other two seaters were on the list of the highest estrogen mix…but they were all the smaller engine varieties. All show, no go. Power is probably more the differentiator in the two-seater market, and a two-seater seems less like a compromise vehicle in any case.

    It does have interesting implications for the truck positioning. Barring any real data, I would be inclined to guess that the RAM has the best co-ed mix of buyers, with the Chevy not too far from it. The F-Series and the GMC are trucks you buy when you can expense the truck or you have to have it to do regular, hard work. Put whatever socioeconomic projection you put on it, women opt against such work, so why spend the money on the truck? Further, since I’ve never hauled anything for profit, but sometimes I want to get off the beaten path for the weekend, a Dodge/RAM offering is far cheaper and more what I actually would need than an F-Series.

    Of course, it would really be interesting if there was a higher mix of female buyers of Silverados than RAMs.

    • 0 avatar
      Xeranar

      If we remove business/fleet sales from the truck segment I suspect they would drop out of the top-10. Not by much, but I suspect their ratios would reset 10% lower. As for the rest almost all of them are relatively expensive two-door sports cars, not exactly the variety that a woman of power or wealth would drive. She probably is buying a 4-door sport sedan to look the part of a professional rather than trying to prove virility.

      The whole “small penis” thing though is so overdone. If anything all the cars on the list say “hey, I enjoy a fast car and spending big bucks.”

      I would really like to see the list for cars that sell in excess of 25K a year. That would cut all but the 911. Even then I imagine the numbers skew towards larger faster cars but are more realistic to what men actually buy rather than a handful of elites. Once you’re making 6 figures ego becomes a serious issue.

  • avatar
    threeer

    Well…I’m screwed…I’m a 41 year old guy, and I’d really like to own a new Abarth. Not. Even. Close. Oh, well…I’m happily married so I don’t need a Corvette to compensate, or attempt to attract a female.

  • avatar
    deliverator

    I bet the 1-Series statistic is due to young men who can just barely afford them but need to be seen driving a beamer. That’s why it’s the lowest-priced model BMW sells. It’s easy to impress women who ask what do you drive. This way you can say you have a BMW. They won’t know it’s the cheapest model you can get. Oh cool, two doors!

    • 0 avatar
      Speed Spaniel

      I thought that was the raison d’etre of the 3 Series? You buy a 1 Series because you are blind…….

    • 0 avatar

      You get a 4/10 for trolling effort, but a 0/10 for reading comprehension.

      The 1M is nowhere near the cheapest new BMW on the market. The 1M’s base price is higher than that of the X3, 328 and 528.

    • 0 avatar
      word is bond

      It’s specifically the 1M.

    • 0 avatar
      hubcap

      If you have the chance go drive a 1M. It might impress you.

    • 0 avatar
      camundahl

      You don’t even know how to say or spell the nick name right. It’s BIMMER. You don’t know what a 1M is, you don’t know why it is desirable, and your “logic” is pathetic.

      You know what impresses woman? Not my 1M (even though it does). Being a REAL, non-poser person that doesn’t live life with an unrealistic, stuck-up view. Also, having experience and knowing how to give what she WANTS makes a woman beg for more. Not some fantasy idea like the shit you just came up with to explain people who buy the BMW 1M.

      HEY GUYS, MY NAME IS DELIVERATOR! I BUY CARS BECAUSE THEY HAVE MORE THAN TWO DOORS! ISN’T THAT COOL!?

      WTF kind of logic is that? Seriously, I want to know! A car isn’t “cool” because it only has two doors?

    • 0 avatar
      stuki

      The 1M differ quite a lot from its more plebian siblings. Manual tranny only for one thing.

  • avatar
    ClutchCarGo

    “Number 5: Ferrari California. 88.4 percent males. Driving one grows hair on your chest”

    Ear and nose hair as well, it seems. Too bad about the scalp, tho.

  • avatar
    M.S. Smith

    This list would be more interesting if cars over $50,000 were excluded.

    Telling me that guys make up the majority of people buying hugely expensive, hugely powerful cars is like telling me that guys make up the majority of people visiting strip clubs.

    No. Duh.

    • 0 avatar
      rudiger

      Yeah, $50k sounds like a good cut-off. Stuff over that gets too close to being rich boy’s toys.

      A no-option, base Corvette just barely squeaks by at that price-point. The full-size trucks are no-brainers (although I’m a little surprised that there’s no Dodge). Likewise, I guess the Sierra counts as a Silverado and is the reason the Chevy isn’t on the list.

      After that, it’d be pretty obvious that manual transmission, V8 ponycars would all be included, along with the V8 Charger.

      Rounding out the field would be the WRX STi and EVO

      • 0 avatar
        stuki

        I can only assume the Sti and Evo was lumped in with the lower power trim levels of their respected models. I may perhaps be showing my age, but do any women buy Evos?

  • avatar
    red60r

    Where does the Viper rank? Be careful not to spin out in the overflowing machismo.

  • avatar
    Rod Panhard

    So what about the “artificial person,” i.e., “the corporation.” What’s the artificial person buying? Transit Connect? GMC Silverado?

  • avatar
    Toucan

    But how many males bought aforementioned cars for their (trophy) wives?

    Also, can TTAC get in touch with these women who opted for the GT-R or the 1 M? Maybe some interviews (don’t forget taking photos)? Cause I don’t even dream about their phone numbers.

    We need more pure driving girls. And now you have a solution on how to get to them!

  • avatar
    rickkop

    Damn, I didn’t see my Prius on that list.

  • avatar
    philadlj

    Very surprised about the California…always likened it to the Eclipse Spyder of Ferraris.

  • avatar
    CJinSD

    The 1M was a very limited production car and they often sold for far more than sticker even though they were in many glaring ways inferior to M3s. The people who bought them did so because they needed the attention that came with having a car less common and newer than an E90 M3. I’d say it is a credit to women that they weren’t among that group.

    • 0 avatar
      camundahl

      Really, that’s why I bought a 1M? You must have life all figured out.

      Is this why you make retarded posts, for attention? You don’t get any otherwise?

  • avatar
    rdodger

    What, no Veyron?

  • avatar
    mikey

    Hmmmm….Lets see my pride and joy is a four year old 6 auto Mustang drop top. It replaced my white 6 auto Firebird drop top.

    Oh yeah…. I spent my entire working life in the “blue collar” world. I pick my wardrobe carfully, and own 3 pink shirts and a pair of very expensive loafers.

    I have two children and three grandchildren, and my wife of 39 years can still turn heads.

    Your manhood is not impacted if you drive a Ram with pair hanging on the trailer hitch,or your vehicle of choice is a Miata.

  • avatar
    TireIrony

    I just want to meet one of the women who buy a Ferrari 458.

  • avatar
    tmkreutzer

    Oscar Meyer Weinermobile – those things are a total sausage fest…

  • avatar
    DenverMike

    I could be a douche or you could be envious but the truth is no doubt in the middle somewhere. Although the more you move away from Toyonda appliances, towards anything interesting or fun, the closer you move to douchehood. It’s just the way it works. I went from muscle cars to pretty pickup trucks so I’m used to sideways glares from dudes in moving Maytags and really I love it!

    Muscle cars in the traditional sense, are but a footnote in history, but you can still get a brand new full-size pickup with a huge V8 (relatively), limited slip 3.73 or 4.10 gear sets, vinyl floors & seats, crank windows and a plain ass radio… the way God intended!

  • avatar
    SunnyvaleCA

    Seems like a somewhat arbitrary list. For example, the 1M was counted as a vehicle separate from the other 1-series vehicles but I’ll bet the Porsche Carrera GT3 RSR, if not lumped in with the regular Carreras, would be mighty high on the list. And I’m surprised the Viper and Lamborghini didn’t get a mention either.


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