What Do This Thing And Volkswagen Have In Common? Too Much

Bertel Schmitt
by Bertel Schmitt

Chinese media has written for a while that Volkswagen and its Shanghai joint venture with SAIC will do a new “Chinese” brand called “Tianyue” by the Chinese, or “Tantus” by the longnoses. Only Carnewschina did some research and tells us what those names really mean. Careful, do not read on if you are offended by “mature” content, or could be fired for reading such.

China doesn’t seem to be content with strongly “recommending” to foreign makers that they should add a “Chinese” brand. Now foreign makers also “should” add a Chinese brand for EVs. Even Toyota, long opposed to any Chinese brands, caved it and allegedly will offer electric vehicles under a Chinese brand. BMW will have a Chinese EV brand. Volkswagen already has a Chinese EV brand named Kaili, together with FAW.

“Equal time!” shouts VW’s joint venture in Shanghai. Not to upset anyone, Shanghai Volkswagen also will get a separate, Chinese brand for EVs. The brand is called “Tianyue” by the Chinese, or “Tantus” by the longnoses.

“Tianyue” is Chinese for “Over (the) Heaven”, Carnewschina tells us.

As for “Tantus,” we would have thought it is one of those made-up names that comes out of a computer that checks trademarks all over the world. Not so. Or the computer failed. In a bad way.

Google “Tantus,” and you find “Tantus Technologies,” a consulting firm. One finds also the Nevada company (link NSFW) Tantus Inc., which, according to (link NSFW in Utah) Wikipedia “is a company that produces silicone sex toys, including vibrators, dildos, butt-plugs and strap-on harness kits.” Tantus products are loved by all kinds of people. The people of Amazon for instance (link not SFW at all) say: “IF YOU ARE A LESBIAN YOU SIMPLY MUST OWN THIS, it will revolutionize your sex life.” There is more, Google with care and not from your place of work.

Where were we? Ah, yes, Chinese EVs from Volkswagen. What do you expect from a company that called it’s distribution network Fuck?

Bertel Schmitt
Bertel Schmitt

Bertel Schmitt comes back to journalism after taking a 35 year break in advertising and marketing. He ran and owned advertising agencies in Duesseldorf, Germany, and New York City. Volkswagen A.G. was Bertel's most important corporate account. Schmitt's advertising and marketing career touched many corners of the industry with a special focus on automotive products and services. Since 2004, he lives in Japan and China with his wife <a href="http://www.tomokoandbertel.com"> Tomoko </a>. Bertel Schmitt is a founding board member of the <a href="http://www.offshoresuperseries.com"> Offshore Super Series </a>, an American offshore powerboat racing organization. He is co-owner of the racing team Typhoon.

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  • ZoomZoom ZoomZoom on Mar 15, 2012

    So this article has THAT picture and my Internet Explorer says "Error" in the lower left corner. I'll say! I was certainly lucky nobody was strolling past my desk as I was scrolling, or they would have seen that purple Barney thing on my big screen. Yikes! NSFW!

  • Piro Piro on Mar 16, 2012

    I have the exact feeldoe posted in the title image. My girlfriend has uh.. used it on me. A product you definitely want to be associated with!

  • Grg These days, it is not only EVs that could be more affordable. All cars are becoming less affordable.When you look at the complexity of ICE cars vs EVs, you cannot help. but wonder if affordability will flip to EVs?
  • Varezhka Maybe the volume was not big enough to really matter anyways, but losing a “passenger car” for a mostly “light truck” line-up should help Subaru with their CAFE numbers too.
  • Varezhka For this category my car of choice would be the CX-50. But between the two cars listed I’d select the RAV4 over CR-V. I’ve always preferred NA over small turbos and for hybrids THS’ longer history shows in its refinement.
  • AZFelix I would suggest a variation on the 'fcuk, marry, kill' game using 'track, buy, lease' with three similar automotive selections.
  • Formula m For the gas versions I like the Honda CRV. Haven’t driven the hybrids yet.
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