Moonshine, Nuns, and a Six-Cylinder 510: BS Inspections of the Charlotte 24 Hours of LeMons

Murilee Martin
by Murilee Martin

Here we are at historic Charlotte Motor Speedway, after a long day of BS Inspections, and we’ve got quite an interesting field of cars preparing for tomorrow morning’s green flag.

We were a little disappointed that Dog Ciao racing replaced their Alfa Twin Cam engine with (gasp) a 1.8 liter Miata powerplant.

Their build-cost math didn’t quite work out for us, but they did have a pretty good Angry Birds theme.

I’ve never actually seen Angry Birds, so all this stuff was somewhat incomprehensible to me.

But the aftermath of the car’s launch into the “target birds” was pretty entertaining. We gave them some BS laps, but fewer than they’d have gotten with a lame-O theme.

For some reason, we had three teams with sombrero-based themes. Here’s one with a Benz.

And, of course, this Datsun 510 with L28 swap.

Sure, this team has destroyed all handling potential for their car, to gain a few dozen horsepower, but who cares? The only problem is that we don’t have an M20-swapped BMW 2002 to race against it… well, and the fact that the team added a $200 radiator that didn’t fit their budget. I hated giving them BS laps, but it’s my duty as a LeMons Supreme Court Justice.

Here’s a theme we hadn’t seen before: a Sentra SE-R made to look like a BMW E30 and then decorated with a “53% Off” Harbor Freight scheme.

The best part was all the stickers parodying Harbor Freight brands. Sadly, the car had a Cheatonium-239-enhanced JDM turbocharged engine under the hood (because, as the team claimed, “it was the only engine we could find”) and medium-sketchy documentation, to the BS Lap hammer had to fall again. Still, the great theme spared them from some of our wrath.

The Tunachuckers’ ’75 Ford LTD Laundau was back, this time with something every LTD should have: its own oil well. The Tunachuckers’ fellow Legends of LeMons, Speedycop and the Gang of Outlaws, will be bringing several great cars… but they haven’t arrived from Maryland yet. That’s normal for them, and we’re sure everything will be fine.

Speaking of Speedycop, somehow he managed to talk pro driver Randy Pobst into showing up and driving a couple of machines from the Speedycop racin’ fleet. I’m going to try to get Randy behind the wheel of the Team Goldbrick MGB-GT tomorrow.

Why not? It’s time that a British Leyland product leaves the E30s behind in a cloud of burning-electrical-insulation smoke. Check in tomorrow to find out what happened in the Where The Elite Meet To Cheat 24 Hours of LeMons’ first race session!



































Murilee Martin
Murilee Martin

Murilee Martin is the pen name of Phil Greden, a writer who has lived in Minnesota, California, Georgia and (now) Colorado. He has toiled at copywriting, technical writing, junkmail writing, fiction writing and now automotive writing. He has owned many terrible vehicles and some good ones. He spends a great deal of time in self-service junkyards. These days, he writes for publications including Autoweek, Autoblog, Hagerty, The Truth About Cars and Capital One.

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  • BigEZ1961 BigEZ1961 on Sep 24, 2011

    My money is on Coronas to bring the trophy back to Tennessee!I've had more than a few beers with the team and they can finish.

  • TheVanBurenBoys TheVanBurenBoys on Sep 26, 2011

    The Fiero was parked behind our pit... most of Saturday and Sunday! I think the Fiero record of not finishing (not even completing half the hours) is still intact.

  • ToolGuy This might be a good option for my spouse when it becomes available -- thought about reserving one but the $500 deposit is a little too serious. Oh sorry, that was the Volvo EX30, not the Mustang. Is Volvo part of Ford? Is the Mustang an EV? I'm so confused.
  • Mikey My late wife loved Mustangs ..We alway rented one while travelling . GM blood vetoed me purchasing one . 3 years after retirement bought an 08 rag top, followed by a 15 EB Hard top, In 18 i bought a low low mileage 05 GT rag with a stick.. The car had not been properly stored. That led to rodent issues !! Electrical nightmare. Lots of bucks !! The stick wasn't kind to my aging knees.. The 05 went to a long term dedicated Mustang guy. He loves it .. Today my garage tenant is a sweet 19 Camaro RS rag 6yl Auto. I just might take it out of hibernation this weekend. The Mustang will always hold a place in my heart.. Kudos to Ford for keeping it alive . I refuse to refer to the fake one by that storied name .
  • Ajla On the Mach-E, I still don't like it but my understanding is that it helps allow Ford to continue offering a V8 in the Mustang and F-150. Considering Dodge and Ram jumped off a cliff into 6-cylinder land there's probably some credibility to that story.
  • Ajla If I was Ford I would just troll Stellantis at all times.
  • Ronin It's one thing to stay tried and true to loyal past customers; you'll ensure a stream of revenue from your installed base- maybe every several years or so.It's another to attract net-new customers, who are dazzled by so many other attractive offerings that have more cargo capacity than that high-floored 4-Runner bed, and are not so scrunched in scrunchy front seats.Like with the FJ Cruiser: don't bother to update it, thereby saving money while explaining customers like it that way, all the way into oblivion. Not recognizing some customers like to actually have right rear visibility in their SUVs.
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