Where To Drive Drunk In Detroit
This handy pocket chart (print out and laminate), brought to you courtesy of the Freep, shows you the good and bad parts of the Detroit Metro when it comes to driving under the influence. We supply it in extra large, because- well, you know.
As you can see, in Detroit proper, the consequences of getting caught over the limit are pretty benign.
North of 8 Mile Road, matters get dicey. And the map tells only half of the story.
If you drive blottoed, you down’t want to land in the court of Judge Kimberly Small in Bloomfield Hills. Here, you are pretty sure to end up in the slammer, even for a first offense. In other areas, you must be a repeat offender to do time. And in Detroit, the stays are short, and the fines are affordable. If you are a low income drinker, Judge Marylin Atkins in Detroit will give you a discount.
See, downtown Detroit isn’t all that bad. And some enterprising soul really should put that information into the navigation system.
Bertel Schmitt comes back to journalism after taking a 35 year break in advertising and marketing. He ran and owned advertising agencies in Duesseldorf, Germany, and New York City. Volkswagen A.G. was Bertel's most important corporate account. Schmitt's advertising and marketing career touched many corners of the industry with a special focus on automotive products and services. Since 2004, he lives in Japan and China with his wife <a href="http://www.tomokoandbertel.com"> Tomoko </a>. Bertel Schmitt is a founding board member of the <a href="http://www.offshoresuperseries.com"> Offshore Super Series </a>, an American offshore powerboat racing organization. He is co-owner of the racing team Typhoon.
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DUI us very profitable, Detroit doesn't seem to realize that. Considering all the other problems the Big D has maybe DUI isn't on their radar any longer.
please explain how this has _anything_ to do with the auto industry. bashing of the metro Detroit area with no point has no value to the discussion of the industry. I'm sure there are all sorts of fun crime statistics available for Georgetown KY or Smyrna or Nashville or Munich or Shanghai or Stuttgart. and they are just as immaterial to the discussion.
So is the author really suggesting (wink, wink) Detroit as the place to go to drive drunk? The whole (wink, wink) thing is reprehensible. The author also ignores that the Detroit fine is a far bigger hit to the average Detroiter's income than the Birminghan Hills fine is to the much richer average driver there. Plus, I'd rather spend 32 days in a Warren jail than 11 in a Detroit one. By far, the Finnish system of traffic fines is more fair, where the amount is determined as a percentage of a person's income, not as a raw number. $1,000 to an S-class driver is pocket change, to a poor person, it's a catastrophe.
The Detroit accent itself is similar to a drunk's. So why are you insinuating that driving drunk there could land you in trouble? Just tell them you're a native. lolz