By on June 2, 2011

Panther lovers, look away! The Detroit News has picked up a story on Bayliff Custom Automotive which… well, let’s just let the words take over where that unforgettable image leaves off, shall we?

“We’ve been custom-building Packard automobiles since 1978,” said [C. Budd] Bayliff, whose Bayliff Custom Automotive of Lima, Ohio, builds old-style Packards (and other cars) from the ground up and offers Packard-inspired customization styling kits for contemporary vehicles.

Bayliff Custom Automotive also does conversion work for another Ohio-based company that specializes in funeral vehicles.

The Packard kit, as shown here on a Ford Crown Victoria, is priced from $15,000 to $18,500 and includes a Packard-style grille and overhood, headlamps, rear fender skirts, an oval rear window, stylized trunk lid, custom two-tone paint, and various changes to the interior.

If that’s a Packard, I’m Enzo Ferrari. Oh, and I have a lovely original 250 GTO to sell you…

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54 Comments on “What’s Wrong With This Picture: The Horror… The Horror… Edition...”


  • avatar

    What a gawd awful mess what idiot thuoght this was a good idea It certainly resembles no Packard I ever saw the grille has vague packardy look but the rest of it shouldnt be allowed in public.

  • avatar
    BuzzDog

    If that’s a Packard, I’m Enzo Ferrari.

    Exactly. And with all due respect to the Panther lovers out there, slapping $15,000 to $18,500 of “Packard-style” crap on a Crown Vic doesn’t make it worthy of the name that was once synonymous with engineering excellence.

    • 0 avatar
      SVX pearlie

      OTOH, I’ve seen used CVPIs with $5000 worth of wheels, tires, and so much stick-on crap that you can’t put your hand down without touching a fakey “vent” or “accent”…

      Hard to say which is worse.

    • 0 avatar
      Dr. Kenneth Noisewater

      How delightfully gauche!

    • 0 avatar

      All it needs are 22’s and GPS/Nav.

      In fact, if you take this down south and put 30″ wheels on it, people will think you’re rich and you’ll get more women than Newt Gingrich.

    • 0 avatar
      John Fritz

      “… slapping $15,000 to $18,500 of “Packard-style” crap on a Crown Vic doesn’t make it worthy of the name that was once synonymous with engineering excellence. …”

      Rest assured BuzzDog, there isn’t a single Panther owner out there that disagrees with you.

      Slapping “Packard-style” crap on a Vic turns it into a Vic with “Packard-style” crap attached to it. Nothing else.

  • avatar
    ajla

    I wonder if they could do a X-100 conversion on a Challenger or a Bonneville conversion on a MKS.

  • avatar
    BoredOOMM

    Oldsmobile tried this type of cladding on the Achieva…

    Only One Word describes this-

    Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

  • avatar
    Syke

    I’d just gotten in from 15 miles of roadwork (cycling) and was about to sit down for dinner. Thank you for killing my appetite.

  • avatar
    mcs

    I don’t think it’s quite as well done as the Corvorado. I think if you’re looking for a vehicle in this class, the Corvorado is the only way to go. Although, maybe when you’re wearing a wide brimmed hat, fur coat, and platforms, the extra space the panther offers may be what you need.

    • 0 avatar
      MattPete

      That car screams “Douche”.

    • 0 avatar
      SVX pearlie

      If I’m dressed like that, I wouldn’t want to be seen in some lame Vic.

      I’d have to be in an honest-to-goodness BOF 1970s Lincoln Continental Town Car, preferably a 1975+ with the opera window, not some lame Panther-based POS.

    • 0 avatar
      fincar1

      Boy, that Corvorado guy’s got an eye for ugly, doesn’t he…?

      One of my facebook friends who lives in a suburb of Memphis has a photo album of various types of cars he’s seen that have weird paint jobs, tall, skinny chrome wheels, and o-ring tires. Yes, a good many of them are Panthers, but it’s obvious that people will put such accessories on any car they happen to have on hand.

  • avatar
    MattPete

    Reminds me of one of those horrid Zimmer Quicksilvers.

  • avatar
    Educator(of teachers)Dan

    It would be better looking without the stupid roof treatment.

    Good God, all I can think is, how’s the fuel economy after the conversion? The horror, the horror.

    How much to do this to a 1991 FWD Sedan De Ville? It might actually come out decent looking.

    • 0 avatar
      Educator(of teachers)Dan

      Update: Fiance saw the picture at the top and the first thing out of her mouth: “Looks like the car is transgendered.” One of the funniest things I’ve ever seen.

  • avatar

    Nissan Juke Sedan, Long Wheelbase Edition?

  • avatar
    Beerboy12

    It has all the sex appeal of a road accident! The designers should not be allowed to design vacuum cleaners…

  • avatar
    Derby129

    That had better not have been a ’92 with the aero nose!

  • avatar
    tonyola

    I like how everything has a glued-on look. There’s no attempt whatsoever to blend the “classic” hood and headlights into the existing CV body panels.

  • avatar
    redseca2

    Overhood….is that like an adult under garment for the hood?

    Show me a Crown Victoria kit for a Packard.

  • avatar

    No, this is a Packard.

    Also, I’m not so sure about the rights to the name. The Packard Club and the Packard Motor Car Foundation own the rights to the Packard logos and the Packard script. He may have established some rights to use the name on his customs, but I doubt that anyone associated with the Packard club or foundation would let him put the Packard script on any of those monstrosities.

    As I said to myself at the Detroit Autorama, just because you have the skill to customize, doesn’t mean that you have aesthetic taste.

    That thing reminds me of JarJar Binks.

  • avatar
    Verbal

    Speaking of which, what ever happened to Excalibur?

    • 0 avatar
      tonyola

      Excalibur stopped making cars in 1997 and went bankrupt in the early 2000s. There’s a small Excalibur company offering parts, service, and sales for existing cars.

      http://www.excaliburautomobilecorporation.com/

  • avatar
    psarhjinian

    Mitsuoka does this kind of thing so much better.

  • avatar
    newfdawg

    “Nobody ever went broke underestimating the intelligence of the
    American people” H.L. Menken

    Truer words were never spoken.

  • avatar
    Joe McKinney

    I’d love to see this with an Edsel grill in place of the Packard grill.

  • avatar
    Scoutdude

    My eyes!!! That is one nasty looking Crown Vic. For 15K you would think they could do more than double stick tape junk to the front of the car and make a fiberglass hood and header panel.

  • avatar
    geo

    This reminds me of one of those WW2-era caricatures of an “evil” Japanese man.

    For lack of a better example:

    http://www.solitarytrees.net/racism/img/glasses.jpg

  • avatar
    CraigSu

    Darth Pimp, your car is waiting.

  • avatar
    ciddyguy

    O.M.G. This is soooo hideous.

    I’ve seen custom Beetles done better than this, you know, the ones with the Rolls Royce or some such fronts and they are much better integrated than this monstrosity plastered onto a ho-hum Crown Vic.

  • avatar
    HoldenSSVSE

    MY EYES!!!

  • avatar
    Zackman

    Ewwwwwwwwwwww…who’s idea of a joke was that? I can’t get that image out of my bad eye!

    For what the investment cost to design and manufacture junk like this, at least my idea years ago to design and manufacture an affordable and easy-to-install kit on certain coupes that would allow the rear windows to either pop out or even roll down would’ve at least had real practical value.

    This stuff is simply garbage that accomplishes nothing except jeers from the audience.

  • avatar
    relton

    This is proof that there are uglier cars than a 57 Hudson Hornet Hollywood Hardtop.

  • avatar
    M 1

    The sad part is that somebody actually put a lot of time and effort into that junk.

  • avatar
    radimus

    It gets worse:

    http://www.watchtv.net/~harley3/96%20pics.htm

  • avatar
    Mark MacInnis

    NOW I have an idea….buy a pissload of ugly-azz Azteks. Park one of those next to a lot full of Aztecs….sell the ugly-azz Aztecs!

    • 0 avatar
      zenith

      Actually, you put an Aztek on any lot in a Mexican section of town, and it will sell much quicker than most anything other than a square-look GM B-body or a Dustbuster GM van.
      GM needs to make modern clones of all 3, seeing as how the Mexicans are here to stay.

  • avatar
    segfault

    You stay classy, Detroit!

    • 0 avatar

      We’ve been custom-building Packard automobiles since 1978,” said [C. Budd] Bayliff, whose Bayliff Custom Automotive of Lima, Ohio

      Apparently this isn’t the only automotive abomination associated with Ohio. I’ve heard that in some dealers, an add on vinyl roof is called a “full Cleveland”.

  • avatar
    obbop

    Is that a rear-facing air inlet into the engine bay for super-duper heavy=breathing to maximize horsepower or the mental stimulation/simulation that such is occurring; reminiscent of… hmmmmmm……

    Too lazy to look….. was it early 70s Chevelles, etc with the type air inlet?

    Oh, okay… I’ll go take a quick peek and see if I can find a pic to link to.

    Back in a bit.

    • 0 avatar
      obbop

      http://tinyurl.com/3gon246

      That’s a man-sized link. USA-sized.

      Akin to our past-era cars.

      BIG and bold and, perhaps, wasteful of space, numbers and letters but the USA IS a BIG country.

      With innumerable BIG people.

      Or is BIG merely a euphemism for lard-laden, rotund, slender-challenged; with rollable downable hills a clear and present danger to body unity of the rotund round ones slip and fall and commence obeying gravity’s inexorable pull.

      I hope the link works.

      It is the cowl-induction suck-in-air set-up from those yore days that jumped out and grabbed my eye when viewing that gawd-awful even-a-hillbilly might gag at and not allow it a home upon the concrete blocks fated for future lawn ornaments of the once-mobile variety.

      (long URL appeared to mess up formatting. Replaced with “Tiny URL” shortened link to pic)

      • 0 avatar
        shaker

        Rather than “cowl induction”, I believe that the raised area behind that hideous grille is meant to hide the attachment method: 10 square feet of double-sided foam tape.

  • avatar
    Scoutdude

    After regaining enough sight to look at the picture again I certainly hope that what appears to be a Marauder in the background isn’t scheduled to undergo surgery at the hands of the people who murdered that Crown vic.

  • avatar
    cfclark

    I am reminded of the hideously maltreated/recombined toys that the evil neighbor kid (forget his name) has created in the original “Toy Story”…looks like it wants to be put out of its misery. (“It’s too late for me…save yourselves!”)

    For some reason it also reminds me of the Geico “stack of money with the googly eyes” commercial. Every car has a “face”, and this is just a blank, stupid stare.

  • avatar
    Slow_Joe_Crow

    I would have gladly lived the rest of my life in blissful ignorance of these abominations. Just one more proof that nobody ever went broke underestimating the taste of the American people.

  • avatar
    MadHungarian

    Creating ersatz Packards seems to have been an obsession with Bayliff for a number of years now. Soem of their creations aren’t half bad, especially this one: http://farm1.static.flickr.com/76/214762172_815f623fb3.jpg
    and http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3013/2781357313_f4e90180a4.jpg — although the doors do give away the 1949-51 Plymouth or Dodge roots.


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