A Duster, a Roller, and Cubicle Ennui: BS Inspections at the Pacific Northworst 24 Hours of LeMons

Murilee Martin
by Murilee Martin

I’m not at Oregon Raceway Park to judge the Pacific Northworst LeMons race this weekend, because I just had to stay in Colorado to watch a bunch of freaks race to 14,115 feet. However, LeMons Assistant Perp Nick Pon has sent in some photos of yesterday’s prerace BS Inspections.

That “Rolls-Royce” is really a BMW E30; such a conversion is a good way to make LeMons officials less bored with racers’ insistence that the Ultimate Driving Machine was “the only $500 car we could find.” Complementing the look of the Roller, some teams are carrying on the West Coast LeMons tradition of excellent costumes.

Pete Peterson of the veteran Killer Bees MGB team not only drove his race car all the way from San Jose to the race, he did the trip while towing a one-wheeled covered wagon.

You never want to race in LeMons without a spare engine, so Pete went with the most logical engine storage location for his trip. What makes this feat even more impressive is that the Killer Bee recovered from one of the hairiest rollover wrecks in LeMons history.

The Bee has some serious Index of Effluency competition, in the form of this Plymouth Duster with an Al Bundy theme. It does have a 360, but old Detroit cars have a tough time staying glued together under this sort of abuse.

When you bring several large office machines to a LeMons BS Inspection in the trunk of your race car, it can mean only one thing:

Yes, reenacting the famous “printer rage” scene from Office Space

I’ll post updates as I get them, so check in later for Pacific Northworst updates.






Murilee Martin
Murilee Martin

Murilee Martin is the pen name of Phil Greden, a writer who has lived in Minnesota, California, Georgia and (now) Colorado. He has toiled at copywriting, technical writing, junkmail writing, fiction writing and now automotive writing. He has owned many terrible vehicles and some good ones. He spends a great deal of time in self-service junkyards. These days, he writes for publications including Autoweek, Autoblog, Hagerty, The Truth About Cars and Capital One.

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  • Robert Gordon Robert Gordon on Jun 26, 2011

    "The Bee has some serious Index of Effluency competition," As I pointed out in the other thread, the MGB is probably has the best endurance racing credentials of any car ever to race in the LeMons series. Indeed it has a better racing heritage than many extremely exotic thoroughbreds. MGB has raced at including many class wins and high outright placing at the following races: Le Mans 24 hour Monte Carlo Rally Targa Florio Monza 1000 Nurburgring 500 Nurburgring 1000 Spa 1000 Sebring 12 hour Daytona 2000 Daytona 24 hour Sundown 6 hour Bridgehampton 500 Bridgehampton 6h RAC Tourist Trophy London - Sydney Marathon etc.... Now this example may not have had the same prep and may have seen better days, but but the same token it is hardly fair not to mention just plain wrong to attempt to mock it for being what it is. Any way you look at it the MGB has serious race cred.

    • Sparky Pete Sparky Pete on Jun 28, 2011

      I should point out that this car is a stock 77 Rubber-Bumper Leyland era model with the ugly "duck-bill" nose cut off. The fact that the car had the second slowest laptimes of the race and finished with a rear hub that was disintegrating and wobbly wheel speaks volumes to being blessed with a great team, not any inherent or residual greatness in the car. This MGB is a fun car, and a well loved car. But not a particularly great race car. I'd choose my chrome bumper version if I was serious about race creed. https://fbcdn-sphotos-a.akamaihd.net/hphotos-ak-snc1/5400_1187523652803_1369652107_515831_5299684_n.jpg

  • Parkwood60 Parkwood60 on Jun 26, 2011

    Now everybody knows that Al Bundy drove a Dodge. It was a Dart Demon of the same vintage. At least they should have switched the badging. And minus 1 million for not running a slant 6.

  • 1995 SC I will say that year 29 has been a little spendy on my car (Motor Mounts, Injectors and a Supercharger Service since it had to come off for the injectors, ABS Pump and the tool to cycle the valves to bleed the system, Front Calipers, rear pinion seal, transmission service with a new pan that has a drain, a gaggle of capacitors to fix the ride control module and a replacement amplifier for the stereo. Still needs an exhaust manifold gasket. The front end got serviced in year 28. On the plus side blank cassettes are increasingly easy to find so I have a solid collection of 90 minute playlists.
  • MaintenanceCosts My own experiences with, well, maintenance costs:Chevy Bolt, ownership from new to 4.5 years, ~$400*Toyota Highlander Hybrid, ownership from 3.5 to 8 years, ~$2400BMW 335i Convertible, ownership from 11.5 to 13 years, ~$1200Acura Legend, ownership from 20 to 29 years, ~$11,500***Includes a new 12V battery and a set of wiper blades. In fairness, bigger bills for coolant and tire replacement are coming in year 5.**Includes replacement of all rubber parts, rebuild of entire suspension and steering system, and conversion of car to OEM 16" wheel set, among other things
  • Jeff Tesla should not be allowed to call its system Full Self-Driving. Very dangerous and misleading.
  • Slavuta America, the evil totalitarian police state
  • Steve Biro I have news for everybody: I don't blame any of you for worrying about the "gummint" monitoring you... but you should be far more concerned about private industry doing the same thing.
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