Hammer Time: Of Pins And Pricks

Steven Lang
by Steven Lang

Beware of the pin-prick mentality. It blinds even the best of us in the automotive world.

A lot of great cars over the decades have been deflated by the nascent fashions of the moment. The Chrysler minivan was a slow seller when it was first released. “Too big. Too bulky. Not a wagon!” cried the conventional soothsayers of the status quo.

Then it sold like hotcakes. 10+ million vehicles in 20 years. Beetles. Corollas. The 1st gen Taurus. Just a few ‘weird cars’ have invoked more enduring design ideas for auto design folk than hundreds of conventional hum-drum models of modern time. Which now brings me to New York City’s next taxi. Will it shine like a beacon in the coming era? Or is the design more out of wack than John Rocker’s first visit to the Big Apple?

If you ask most cars designers what shape offers the most space for the dollar, chances are a stubby long rectangle would be it. Delivery vehicles. Volvo 240’s. Minivans and Xb’s. The breadbox can be shaped in varying heights and widths to accommodate whatever mode du jour you need. Even coffins were created with that in mind.

The evolution of a vehicle’s storage utility has been very slow in coming until recent years. Hiding seats for the station wagon and minivan. Shelves and storage for the cargo van. Even the versatility of storage acomodations in a Honda Fit can be partially attributed to Honda needing a way to make my 1st generation Insight feel spacious while packing a rear battery and electrical maze behind me that is far bigger than the engine. It works.

Other manufacturers have come up with less trying solutions for those needing space. Stow n’ Go. Utitlity trailers. Hitches and Campers. 14 cupholders and coolers. What was this about again? Oh, the Nissan NV200.

Look at these two pictures for a quick second.

You see a family resemblance already? Well the upright design of a compact combined with a quick sloping form from the A pillar forward has already been done many times. It failed miserably. The 80’s materials that designers used for the Axxess couldn’t help but make it a sad little gorky thing.

Most of these stubby compact vehicles rarely saw a second generation.

The Mitsubishi LRV and Plymouth Colt Vista straddled the two failure fault lines of ‘innocuous’ and ‘Iacocca’ that eventually killed both their brands. These cars (with van like pretensions) never saw even a sliver of hope once the Gulf War ended and cheap gas met America’s re-emerging big ride fetish. Practical, plain and small didn’t sell in a showroom laden with power and portlitude. .

But this time it is different. Really. Think about this. The Panther is leaving the building with the new Ranger locked out of the American landscape. So yes there is a market opening in North America for a well-designed body on frame vehicle . But it’s far more than that.

Cars suck in 2011. No, they really do. If you ask most young people AND their parents to choose between a nice computer and a walkable town, or a great car with a commute in tow, which one would win out?

I bet you all the tea in Chinatown that the glorified New Yorker lifestyle would win out. Yes, it’s true that some folks do want that house in the suburbs and the opportunity to transport themselves at will. They just don’t want to drive if they can help it.

The overwhelming majority of driving we do these days is mind crushing tedium. Which brings us finally to the virtues of the NV200. It looks… blah… Not ugly. Not prettty. Just Camry. Plain as day with some mild shades of deformity at certain angles.

It is the exact silhouette of a transportation appliance with an engineer’s passing thought in mind. Keep it body on frame, four-cylinder frugal, and cheap to operate according to the buggy little gnomes of the Bloomberg administration. Then let the marketing and PR machine put all these decision makers on a spin cycle. Rinse, repeat, and after only two years of drawing down ridiculous consulting fees, these Bloombergian car haters will choose us.”

It worked. But there is an interesting catch.

“After ten years of selling vehicles into the market, the successful respondent must continue to provide agreed upon warranty, service, and parts support for vehicles previously sold. A 150,000 mile powertrain warranty must be provided as a minimum requirement. Service and parts support must continue to be provided for five years after the conclusion of the ten year selling period.”

Meaning NYC has just given Nissan the opportunity to parts bin the NV200 like a Crown Vic globally. I think this will have a very different outcome for Nissan vs. Ford when it comes to the prolific variants that will gradually emerge out of the platform.

You can make this taxi design into a Japanese minitruck. Perfect for dozens of markets far from our shores.

Elongate it to a six or seven seater. A minivan for those in places where $7 gas, government regs and private ownership of any car comes with a stiff premium.

Even puff up the roof and suspension for a taller profile for deliveries. Mail. Packages. People. A mini mobile coffee shop. Yes. Laugh at it’s ancestors. But there is a bright future for this model.

The NV200 will indeed have a gateway to markets far larger than any of us imagined. Some of us may even have a chance to live in one. I think this guy has the right idea of how many New Yorkers will be using these vehicles in the distant future.

Steven Lang
Steven Lang

More by Steven Lang

Comments
Join the conversation
2 of 58 comments
  • Jbltg Jbltg on May 07, 2011

    I'm sure it's very practical. Is it a hybrid at least? Not good looking. The Prius seemed to hold up very well as a NYC taxi and is roomy, has a great trunk, and is a hybrid. And only needs a coat of ugly yellow paint to do duty as a taxi. Was this not the obvious solution? Bloomburg had to spend years and many dollars on the mental masturbation required to arrive at this conclusion? Oy vay! I am all for intermittent casual sex, but not texting.

  • Michael Del Borrell Michael Del Borrell on May 09, 2011

    Doesn't Tom Magliozzi (Click Tappet Brother from CarTalk) own on of those Plymouth Vista Wagons? I seem to remember he always mentions it as being one of the greatest cars he ever owned.

  • MaintenanceCosts It's not a Benz or a Jag / it's a 5-0 with a rag /And I don't wanna brag / but I could never be stag
  • 3-On-The-Tree Son has a 2016 Mustang GT 5.0 and I have a 2009 C6 Corvette LS3 6spd. And on paper they are pretty close.
  • 3-On-The-Tree Same as the Land Cruiser, emissions. I have a 1985 FJ60 Land Cruiser and it’s a beast off-roading.
  • CanadaCraig I would like for this anniversary special to be a bare-bones Plain-Jane model offered in Dynasty Green and Vintage Burgundy.
  • ToolGuy Ford is good at drifting all right... 😉
Next