For those of us who have entered the OnStar “Push On” contest that is giving away 10 GM vehicles of the winner’s choice and who feel lucky (yeah, right), we have a potential problem. You get a GM vehicle of your choice and $25K to cover taxes, delivery, dealer prep, added dealer markup (in the spirit of the GTO, G8, Camaro…don’t put it past them), etc.
Here are the choices and my first thoughts:
- Aveo – nope, is anyone that dumb? Even GM wouldn’t let you select this!
- Cruze – nah.
- HHR – no, no, no.
- Malibu – already own one.
- Impala – meh, no more SS. (that’s because LS4-FTW! – Sajeev)
- Camaro SS – rented one; like driving an eff’n WWII pillbox, cripe!
- Camaro SS convertible – maybe, but see above with top up, a bitch in the winter with the top down.
- Corvette GS – maybe, but still have a teen on the insurance.
- Corvette Z06 – sweet, but probably rides too hard and see above.
- Corvette ZR1 – awesome, but I already get too many tickets; now if it came with stealth cloaking and active countermeasures.
- Volt – not available in the contest.
- Colorado/Canyon – bleah.
- Silverado/Sierra – yeah, a 3500 crew cab dually…not!
- Equinox/Terrain – why?
- Traverse/Acadia/Enclave – nope, kids are grown.
- Tahoe/Yukon/Escalade – maybe, but would rather have a car than a truck.
- Suburban/Yukon XL/Escalade ESV – too big for the garage.
- Avalanche/Escalade EXT – see Suburban, ugly.
- Regal turbo – maybe, but would rather have a GS.
- Regal GS – definite maybe, its a 2012 model so might not be an option.
- Lacrosse – close but kind of boring for a contest winner selection.
- Lucerne – not that old yet.
- CTS – maybe a wagon.
- CTS-V – probably at the top of the list.
- STS – would have been near the top of the list, but no more V model, V8 or Magna Ride Suspension for 2011, grrr.
- DTS – too big, not that old yet.
- SRX – have the previous model and like it better.
So if you pick the ZR1 it is ~ $120K + $25 = $145K that you have to pay taxes on. If you are in a 30% bracket (state + federal) that’s a whopping $43.5K in taxes which means you are out $18.5K + delivery + prep + license fees + insurance => say $25K. Not bad for a ZR1 but not “free”. So do you pick the ZR1, sell it and get ~ $100K net?
Or pick something else and keep it? Which of the above list? Camaro SS? Regal GS? CTS-V? Escalade? CTS-V at ~ $65K + $25K = $90K => $27K in taxes; this might be the optimum for a car to keep; but what color? manual or automatic? coupe, sedan or wagon? 10 lucky folks are going to have this problem. What would you select?
I know a thing or two about getting a ZR1 for cheap and the market for GM’s flagship in general. Considering there are still leftover 2010s that are being sold for $10+k below sticker by dealerships desperate to lower their “floor plan” (inventory) payments, you might be looking at more a profit of low-90s if you want to make a quick sale from a dealer/auction and be done with it. The market is super soft, but that OnStar promotion is still the best bang for the buck.
And that’s what I’d do, if you were me and I was you. The money earned can be used for more important things: teenager’s college, house upgrades, investment portfolio, travel and whatever else floats your boat. And that’s because these (depreciating) vehicles aren’t replacing your current rides, including your Malibu/SRX. At least that’s what it sounds like from the (kinda harsh) tone of your letter. And that’s totally cool.
While GM “bashing” from the most loyal supporters (paging Buickman, where are you?) is not a foreign concept here at TTAC, you don’t fit that mold. It’s simply all about the money, honey.
Send your queries to firstname.lastname@example.org. Spare no details and ask for a speedy resolution if you’re in a hurry.