Have you ever seen a car truly ratted out? I’m not talking about the Oscar Madisons amongst us who leave their food wrappers in their cars til’ kingdom come. I’m talking about a real rat car. Interior seats with more thread than fabric. Transmission shifts that make the car jerk quicker than John Ashcroft at a Mardi Gras. Panels with more dents than…. you get the idea. The owner of this Grand Prix decided to get an advanced pharmacology degree during the waning moments of ownership. He was kind enough to bring what was left of the car after his latest meeting with the local magistrate, and with $410 left on the note I could…
Smash: You think I’m kidding? Believe it or not, this car may make more money going through this route first. For someone else that is. One of my good friends in the business decided to bring a 20+year old conversion van for a high school fundraiser a few years ago. $20 per window. 2 good panel whacks for $5. $5 per headlight and taillight. Throw in a few ‘all you can whacks’ when it’s all said and done, my friend managed to raise about $700 for intramural activities at the nearby high school. I’m thinking that a $500 contribution to the neighborhood school would be more than worthwhile.
Part: There are some things that may be worth keeping in this vehicle. The recently installled junkyard transmission in this model can go into an endless slew of GM models from this era. The 3.1L had a 4-speed automatic that was used in everything short of a Cadillac or Saturn back then. I have a few cars on the road with similar specs. As well as a few auction vehicles which may be bought on the cheap with a bad tranny. The alloy wheels on this model would also go nicely with a low mileage 1996 Bonneville I just got from Carmax. Toss in an extra compressor and a few other odds and ends… and you have a nice parts reserve for a rainy day.
Scrap: Then it’s on to the carcass. Catalytic converters can be cut out and sold for $40 to $60 at this point, and metal is still out there for $10 to $11 per 100 on the wholesale level. This car coming in at 3200+ pounds would net somewhere close to $360 or so for the steel and cat alone. That leaves me with a lot of good spare parts for about $50. Not too bad of a deal.
Race: I can see it now. LeMons riders quaking in their high heel boots from the awesome power of a heavily imblanced front-wheel drive Pontiac from the Clinton Era. Baruth begging to get the keys off his umpteenth racer and terrorize the tarmac with a mid-90’s… grocery getter. To be frank I never understood the charm of this vehicle. From the front it looks like a squinting turtle. The rear is almost Bangle butted and the middle is a portly Beretta. It’s time to change this car into something Chinese and worthwhile.