By on November 28, 2010

Yesterday, we ran a story about Art Ross. Ross was the Oldsmobile Chief Designer in the post WW II heydays. He was also a prolific and gifted pornographer. Cars and sex have always been related for some reason. Did you know that in Germany, where the car was invented, “Verkehr” can mean both “traffic” and “intercourse?” I render the guess that there are more people that begun their life by the dashboard light than those who passed away in the passing lane. Many are convinced that autos have aphrodisiac qualities. Many heavily object and say that a car is just a conveyance. Then there are some who think cars are just as vile as porn, and both should be banned. Where does the dear TTAC reader stand in this discussion?

I’ve lived and worked through this antagonism all my professional life. Even at automakers, there are those who think the best car ad is a Soviet style list of specs, accompanied maybe by a cut-away picture. (A good cut-away demands a higher budget than a porn flic shot in Hungary, but I digress. It’s easy …) Others think one should dispense with the car altogether (they all look alike) and show lifestyle scenes instead. What does the TTAC reader think? Let’s take a clinical approach and look at raw numbers only, delivered by the soulless TTAC host computer.

The Art Ross story clearly was yesterday’s most read story. It narrowly beat out Michael Karesh’s review of the Hyundai Sonata Turbo. It was a photo finish, both stories were less than 100 clicks apart. Naked women have a greater attraction on the common TTAC reader than a Hyundai – but just barely.

Now add to that the fact that the Hyundai story was already a day old. On the day it ran first, it had handily beat out … nope, the winner on Friday was “What New Car Is The Best Value For Money?“ That one had attracted twice the numbers of eyeballs than the blown Hyundai.

However, the next day, and with a starting position slightly better than sex, the Hyundai story spooled up fast, raced out of the gate and remained the leader of the pack for most of the day – until sex came from behind and won by a hair.

What does that tell us? The common TTAC reader is interested in sex only slightly more than in a Sonata that had a blowjob. Both topics are valued higher than money: On Saturday, the raunchy Ross report and the Hyundai review received 50 percent more attention than the value for money story that had won the previous day.

Now for the juicy part. Sonatas aside, what genres REALLY pique the TTAC reader’s discerning interest?

The traditional art of Art Ross, including portraits, surrealistic paintings, and a treasure trove of some of the finest car designs of the last century were offered-up for further viewing at The Art Of Art Ross.

A collection of vile and repugnant porn, devised by a deviated degenerate, a lot while he was supposed to support the war effort by designing camouflage netting that kept our fighting men from being bombed by the enemy, was – for strictly scientific reasons – referenced under Erotica By Art Ross. It came with ample warnings. The nauseating nature of the material was clearly flagged.

Now guess what received more clicks.

One more time, you guessed it right. Erotica By Art Ross did beat The Art Of Art Ross more than six to one. Drawing conclusions is left to the reader. All I can say is that warning labels do not impress our readers. They appear to be, as the saying goes, “sure in their sexuality.”

This is where the story would end, would there not have been a late entry. After a death-defying race to Toronto (and after declining my suggestion – made in jest – to type on his iPhone while driving) Jack Baruth wrote the story of a cookie monster that escaped a smashed 1984 vintage Audi GT (I remember them well) unharmed. Said story was posted at 6 in the evening. With sex and Sonata having an 18 hour lead, the story had impossible odds. Old racer’s adage: Better to enter a race late than never. The others could break. Jack’s accident report raced up the charts. By the end of the day, it made a podium finish, coming in third, after sex and Sonata.

In today’s very early morning, Baruth leads, with the Sonata two laps behind, closely followed by Paul Niedermeyer’s story about a futuristic RV from 1959. Pornography is back in the field.

Four possible conclusions (multiple choices ok):

  • The B&B value their lives more than sex or money.
  • If it (barely) bleeds, it leads.
  • Jack Baruth is one reckless heck of a writer.
  • Sonatas will rule the world.

Over to you.

(PS: As this story goes to press – so to speak – word reaches us (finally) that “hyper-texting” leads to sex, drinking or drugs. Scientific fact. Was LaHood right after all? Should Jack Baruth have written the story as a prelude while driving, instead of wasting a precious hour on a laptop in a motel? Will we ever know?)

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32 Comments on “Sex And The Common TTAC Reader, Kinsey Edition...”


  • avatar
    Educator(of teachers)Dan

    Wow, lots of statistics there.  And MM’s story about a Peugeot that had at least one sexual reference and very nice vintage picture of Linda Ronstadt doesn’t even appear as a blip on the radar.  Although that may say more about French cars than anything else.

  • avatar
    Stingray

    Sex and blood sells, gladly this is not some (in)famous news outlet.

    The Oldsmobile’s designer thread was absolutely EPIC. So much I’ll bookmark it.
     
    Mr. Baruth’s piece on the other hand… I had to go to the interwebz to see what an Audi GT Coupe was, the pile looked to me like another car save for the square sealed beams.
     
    I haven’t even read the Hyundai review. Not that I’m in a hurry to do. En cambio, a review of a Holden Commodore/Caprice/HSV will certainly catch my attention

  • avatar
    RangerM

    Sometimes I read a TTAC article that is linked at another website (usually Blueovalforums.com).

    I would imagine a link to the Sonata article was posted among the other automotive websites more than the Art Ross article.  (for the record, I clicked on both articles, but I read them from TTAC, not elsewhere)

    I’m not an internet guru, but if you are counting clicks made while on the TTAC website, are you also counting clicks linking to those articles from other websites?

    • 0 avatar

      We are keeping an eye on them. They can have an effect. but they are overrated. Most of our Verkehr, excuse me, traffic comes from people who come back to TTAC again and again.

      Sure, a big chunk comes from search engines. But when you look at it closely, most of it is from people who simply type “TTAC” or “The Truth About Cars” into Google. The most active search words are usually “ttac”, “the truth about cars”, “truth about cars”, and curiously “hummer”. Some people seem to miss the thing.

      Only incorrigible nerds like me still type “http://www.thetruthaboutcars.com” into the address line.

      The most traffic we had from outside “referrers” today was for an old Dodge Viper story.

      Thank you, B&B for coming back to TTAC again and again, on your own, without having been told.
       

  • avatar
    shaker

    First: “Paradise By The Dashboard Light” is my least favorite song EVAR.
     
    That said, I’ll credit you, Bertel for the Art Ross links that actually (finally) established the dual inspirations for the Dagmar styling element — being a pervert myself, I always assumed that it was women’s breasts only, but then seeing Mr. Ross’ airplane art, I realize that propeller nose-cones probably held equal sway.
     
    I believe that SNL’s Robert Smigel’s car for “The Ambiguously Gay Duo” may have had some Art Ross influence as well.

  • avatar
    mdensch

    I know Mr. Schmitt is rather thin-skinned and recoils sharply when criticized, but I must disagree with his characterization of the work of Art Ross. “Vile and repugnant”? “Deviated degenerate”?  “Nauseating nature”?  Oh, please.  The puritanical fear of sexuality is a pathology. The healthy enjoyment of it and appetite for it are not.

    I suppose that there are some who think that “cars are just as vile as porn” because both can be enjoyed on a very visceral level.  But, I’m sorry, that doesn’t make them vile.

  • avatar
    GrandCharles

    Are cars and sex linked? Well duh! All of us can remember our teen year and having a car back then was one step closer to it (Also a place for it). This tought is printed in men minds, also some car curves are similar to female curve…I do understand (almost) the guy who has sex with car…

    • 0 avatar
      chuckR

      In this regard, allow me to praise the 1966 Dodge Polara, a car with a backseat so large that when it wasn’t ‘sleeping’ two, one could wheel two road bikes into it without removing the wheels first.

  • avatar
    TrailerTrash

    Sorry, but missed the point of the story.
    And the question.

    In my humble experience, the things that are more sexual of all…

    Money.
    And any means of showing it.
    Cars. Jewelry. Mansions. Clothes.
    All these are nothing more than the advertising used to attract the attention of the bait.

    Looks.
    Sorry, but all the “I’m OK, You’re OK” believers are more than likely not good looking, or speaking for profit.
    This crappy world we are in does not practice as it preaches. The Tall good-looking do better than us short plain old folk do.

    Fame…or even infamous!
    Damn, every time I read about the proposals a killer gets while on death row I am once again convinced of the ape inside us all.

  • avatar
    twotone

    “Then there are some who think cars are just as vile as porn…”

    Both cars and porn are both vile and necessary. My cars and I share common traits — we have none of the vitrues you despise and all of the vices you admire.

    Twotone

  • avatar
    AlienProbe

    I only have one thing to add to this…
    dragons(bleeping)cars.com
    That is all.

  • avatar
    dave-the-rave

    Regarding the relationship between cars and sex, cars go through tunnels.

    And let’s not forget the phallic model names: Probe, Ram, Pathfinder… (I know I’m leaving out a bunch; please chime in.)

  • avatar

    So if we had Jenna Jameson on the hood the the TTAC Valhalla-Mobile (USDM AWD Turbo-Diesel Wagon with a Stick) we could hit the proverbial Grand Slam of Sex Appeal with an Enthusiasts car.

  • avatar
    obbop

    If the Art Ross unit was truly on the cutting edge of erotica I believe his portrayal of tentacle-like appendages indoctrinating nubile, lithe innocent female villagers and sundry dwellers of Oriental climes would have been apparent.
     

  • avatar

    Update: Instapundit picked up Jack’s cookiebaker’s car crash. That’s an example when an incoming link truly lifts readership. This story will break many records today.

  • avatar

    I was most interested in the Sonata review.

  • avatar

    Oh, gosh, BS, of course cars and sex are strongly linked. (see my article which covered that subject here: http://www.caranddriver.com/features/06q1/dating_games-feature/)
    As for using TTAC clicks as a measure of which is more important–sex or cars–I have this to say: I come to TTAC for cars. I go elsewhere to read about sex. So my clicking habits on TTAC are not going to show that I have even greater interest in sex than I do in cars. I suspect it is the same for others.
    And by the way, with a nod to Ed.Dan, imo the sexiest thing on TTAC yesterday was definitely Linda Ronstadt.

  • avatar
    Uncle Mellow

    “The nauseating nature of the material was clearly flagged.”Quote
    I think you’re being a bit harsh on poor old Art. Some of his drawings are very charming , and most are very well-drawn.He seems to have had a Duesenberg fetish, so he can’t have been all-bad. I too like naked women and Duesenbergs , and I don’t consider myself to be a pervert.

  • avatar
    the duke

    “Did you know that in Germany, where the car was invented”

    I’m sorry Bertel, but the American pride in me can’t let that slide.  Now, I can’t argue that America did it first – the Duryea brothers at 1893 were late compared the “Patent Wagon” of which you obviously refer, but 1865 for the aforementioned wagon was late compared to the Cugnot steam wagon of 1770.

    I’m sure you were looking to start a patriotic debate, and I took the bait, but the question of “who invented the automobile” is like the question “what was the first Muscle car?”  The truth is you can’t single out the Olds 88 rocket, or the Chrysler 300, or the GTO – there was an evolution, just as with the automobile.

    As to the subject of this post…I think the British had it best – just look at an E-Type Jag, does a more phallic automobile exists?  Did I just suggest the British usurped the Germans?  Sorry about that Bertel…

    • 0 avatar

      Before the Reich’s propaganda ministry ordered publishers to erase his name and replace it with that of Daimler and Benz, Siegfried Marcus was considered the inventor of the automobile. In 1870 he was the first person to power a four wheel vehicle with a gasoline powered engine. So the honor goes to Austria, not Germany.

      The Reich was unhappy with Marcus being the inventor of the automobile, what with him being a Jew and all that. You can imagine how the guy that provokes Godwin citations reacted when he asked to be provided with a short list of engineers capable of working on his volkswagen project and the other names on the list besides Dr. Porsche were Rumpler and Ganz.

    • 0 avatar
      the duke

      Sadly, the NAZI propoganda has been effective – I’ve never heard of Siegfried Marcus until now, thanks for the history lesson Ronnie!

  • avatar
    Monty

    The hot car will get you (more than likely) the hot chick – however, the hot chick doesn’t get you the hot car.

    With that being said, I got the hot chick and therefore didn’t need the hot car, and it’s why I was proud to drive a couple of minivans with kids and aforesaid hot wife as passengers. I had proof of my manhood and didn’t need a car to define it for me.

    Sex and cars are intertwined, in thought, fantasies, advertising and life.

  • avatar
    Mike C.

    Gives Jimi Hendrix’s Crosstown Traffic a new dimension…  I thought Art’s paintings were interesting too.

  • avatar

    BTW, Art didn’t just draw camo and porn during WWII. One of Art Ross’ sketches for a tracked tank killer, the Hellcat, caught the eye of some Army brass and it ended up being developed and put into production as the M-18.

  • avatar
    porschespeed

    WhoTF has been living in a cave and didn’t know that Art did porn?
     
    Is our Nation (the US) really that full of pathetically uninformed r-tards?
     
    Really?
     
     


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