New Research Reveals: Your Father's Oldsmobile Was Designed By A Sex-Obsessed Pervert

Bertel Schmitt
by Bertel Schmitt

Arthur Ross started in 1935 as a „Creative Designer” at GM. He did Cadillacs and Buicks. He had a hand in drawing the lines of some famous cars of those times, the Cadillac Sixty Special, LaSalle, Fleetwood, and the Buick Y-Job, GM’s first concept car. He also was a pervert.

Now don’t get me wrong. Where I come from, “pervert” is a honorific, and I have been to certain parties where the host proudly walked around with a red sash, inscribed “Hentai-ou.” Which is Japanese for something like “King of the perverts.” All in attendance bowed to him. It’s a Japanese thing. I’m familiar with harder core environments also. I worked for Volkswagen during a certain period. (“Bertel, how many girlfriends do you have?” “Two.” “Sorry, you don’t qualify for a board seat. Get some more.”) But let’s get back to Art Ross.

During the war, Ross was assigned to GM’s Camouflage and War Services Section. War over, he became Chief Designer of Cadillac, then Oldsmobile. Those were the golden years of American car design, and in fourteen years as Chief Designer, Ross literally changed the shape of the industry. In 1958, Ross left GM and started his own design house, Arthur Ross Associates. Remember the Parker Pen? A Ross design. Arthur Ross died in Chicago in 1981.

His estate contained a large body of art Ross had drawn, painted, airbrushed, and magic markered in his free time (and possibly during boring conferences.) It came in two genres.

His traditional art, including portraits, surrealistic paintings, and a treasure of car designs can be found at The Art Of Art Ross.com.

His, how shall I say this, more eclectic art is found at Erotica By Art Ross. Now let me warn you that this is not for the faint of heart. I had to do hours of painstaking research, sifting through his complete body of naked bodies, engaged in various activities, before I found one (and only one) image that is barely SFW. This is Thanksgiving weekend, you are not supposed to be working. You are safe unless your wife has installed snitching software on your home PC. In that case, she already knows about your activities. But once you click on Erotica By Art Ross, you see stuff your mother didn’t dare to warn you about. You have been warned now. I don’t want to hear any complaints.

Ross’s work reflects his fantasies of statuesque blondes, with the occasional BBW thrown in. His most prolific and most pornographic period was during the WW II time – designing new camouflage patterns obviously wasn’t challenging enough to keep his wandering mind focused.

So now we know it: Your father’s Oldsmobile was designed by a dirty young man.

(Side story: I wouldn’t have known, would I not have received mail from our in-house connoisseur of fine Detroitophilia, from our buff-book buff, Mr. Ronnie Schreiber. Strangely, he shied away from writing the piece himself, saying “I figured that it was suitable for B&B (Bertel & Baruth). I’ve only looked at just the home page, so I disclaim any blame if you find something offensive, or not offensive enough.” Sure, Ronnie. I just loved those erudite Playboy interviews.

Bertel Schmitt
Bertel Schmitt

Bertel Schmitt comes back to journalism after taking a 35 year break in advertising and marketing. He ran and owned advertising agencies in Duesseldorf, Germany, and New York City. Volkswagen A.G. was Bertel's most important corporate account. Schmitt's advertising and marketing career touched many corners of the industry with a special focus on automotive products and services. Since 2004, he lives in Japan and China with his wife <a href="http://www.tomokoandbertel.com"> Tomoko </a>. Bertel Schmitt is a founding board member of the <a href="http://www.offshoresuperseries.com"> Offshore Super Series </a>, an American offshore powerboat racing organization. He is co-owner of the racing team Typhoon.

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  • Porschespeed Porschespeed on Nov 30, 2010

    Beethoven was a fart sniffer, and Napoleon desired the (long) unwashed crotch of Josephine. Since the beginning of recorded history, the gifted have always been a little 'un-pc' vis-a-vis their sexual proclivities. While the Puritan streak of the US may frown upon those facts, the reality is that the historical record is what it is.

    • See 1 previous
    • Porschespeed Porschespeed on Dec 09, 2010

      A sin? Really? We all have our kinks, and LVB had his. Please tell me how this infringes on yours or mine.

  • Also Tom Also Tom on Dec 09, 2010

    @porschespeed: I can't speak for ajila but I'm thinking either he was joking or he intends that it kind of sullies the memory and work of a great composer to bring out that trivial and weird aspect of him. Just speculatin'.......

    • Ajla Ajla on Dec 09, 2010

      It was a (slightly paraphrased) line from A Clockwork Orange. So mostly a joke.

  • Bkojote Allright, actual person who knows trucks here, the article gets it a bit wrong.First off, the Maverick is not at all comparable to a Tacoma just because they're both Hybrids. Or lemme be blunt, the butch-est non-hybrid Maverick Tremor is suitable for 2/10 difficulty trails, a Trailhunter is for about 5/10 or maybe 6/10, just about the upper end of any stock vehicle you're buying from the factory. Aside from a Sasquatch Bronco or Rubicon Jeep Wrangler you're looking at something you're towing back if you want more capability (or perhaps something you /wish/ you were towing back.)Now, where the real world difference should play out is on the trail, where a lot of low speed crawling usually saps efficiency, especially when loaded to the gills. Real world MPG from a 4Runner is about 12-13mpg, So if this loaded-with-overlander-catalog Trailhunter is still pulling in the 20's - or even 18-19, that's a massive improvement.
  • Lou_BC "That’s expensive for a midsize pickup" All of the "offroad" midsize trucks fall in that 65k USD range. The ZR2 is probably the cheapest ( without Bison option).
  • Lou_BC There are a few in my town. They come out on sunny days. I'd rather spend $29k on a square body Chevy
  • Lou_BC I had a 2010 Ford F150 and 2010 Toyota Sienna. The F150 went through 3 sets of brakes and Sienna 2 sets. Similar mileage and 10 year span.4 sets tires on F150. Truck needed a set of rear shocks and front axle seals. The solenoid in the T-case was replaced under warranty. I replaced a "blend door motor" on heater. Sienna needed a water pump and heater blower both on warranty. One TSB then recall on spare tire cable. Has a limp mode due to an engine sensor failure. At 11 years old I had to replace clutch pack in rear diff F150. My ZR2 diesel at 55,000 km. Needs new tires. Duratrac's worn and chewed up. Needed front end alignment (1st time ever on any truck I've owned).Rear brakes worn out. Left pads were to metal. Chevy rear brakes don't like offroad. Weird "inside out" dents in a few spots rear fenders. Typically GM can't really build an offroad truck issue. They won't warranty. Has fender-well liners. Tore off one rear shock protector. Was cheaper to order from GM warehouse through parts supplier than through Chevy dealer. Lots of squeaks and rattles. Infotainment has crashed a few times. Seat heater modual was on recall. One of those post sale retrofit.Local dealer is horrific. If my son can't service or repair it, I'll drive 120 km to the next town. 1st and last Chevy. Love the drivetrain and suspension. Fit and finish mediocre. Dealer sucks.
  • MaintenanceCosts You expect everything on Amazon and eBay to be fake, but it's a shame to see fake stuff on Summit Racing. Glad they pulled it.
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