Got A Mistress? Don't Buy That EV!

Bertel Schmitt
by Bertel Schmitt

Automotive News [sub] hasn’t received the memo that EVs need good news, badly. Instead, AN hammers the last nail into the electric vehicle’s coffin. If range anxiety, the lack of 220V outlets at your curbside parking spot, and high prices aren’t enough to keep you away from an electric car, how about “an Orwellian future where faceless international corporations track your every move. Drop by the bar after work, call in sick to go to the beach, visit your mistress’ house. The all-seeing eye of Big Brother knows where you’ve been.”

That’s what will happen when you drive an EV, says Automotive News [EN]. Your green friend will snitch on you. 24/7. The car will be ”continuously connected through the wireless Internet to data centers monitoring the car’s location, battery charge and driving range.” Why? It’s for your own good:

“By using such advanced telematics, drivers can locate nearby charging stations, know how far they can drive before draining the battery, monitor traffic to take less crowded routes, assess their driving habits to improve mileage and compare their mileage with that of other electric car drivers.”

TTAC readers know since the beginning of the year that this is afoot. Nissan is opening a huge earthquake proof data center, along with the launch of their Leaf. They need a lot of storage, because according to AN, Nissan’s “CarWings telematics system will retain historical driving, charging and electricity consumption information globally.”

Toyota will even snoop further. They will invade you house! Says Automotive News: “Toyota envisions a similar scenario with so-called “smart homes” connected to plug-in hybrids. This system would not only monitor driving but also home energy habits.” So no grow lights in the basement, you hear? Automotive News hammers a few more nails into the coffin:

  • “Securing this wealth of private information will be a key trust issue in promoting a future that makes the most of electric vehicles’ potential. “
  • “Imagine the potential for summoning such records in lawsuits.”
  • “If personal privacy is botched, electric vehicles could end up more like tracking devices.”

Personally, I think EVs have no great future. Hence, their impact on your privacy will remain subdued. And privacy, what privacy? OnStar already knows that you visited your mistress, or parked for hours in front of a strip club. You credit card company will vouch(er) for it. Your cell phone provider has a very good idea of where you are at any given time, even without GPS. Your friendly electric utility knows how much power you use, and they won’t keep it a secret. “When electric companies notice unreasonably high power usages or patterns of use that fall in line with grow house light cycles, they go straight to the authorities,” explains Howstuffworks. For a few dollars, I can match your P.O.Box to your home address. Electronically stalking you is creepy, agreed. But it falls in the realm of general creepiness.

Nothing new. Move along. And take that battery out of your cell phone.

Bertel Schmitt
Bertel Schmitt

Bertel Schmitt comes back to journalism after taking a 35 year break in advertising and marketing. He ran and owned advertising agencies in Duesseldorf, Germany, and New York City. Volkswagen A.G. was Bertel's most important corporate account. Schmitt's advertising and marketing career touched many corners of the industry with a special focus on automotive products and services. Since 2004, he lives in Japan and China with his wife <a href="http://www.tomokoandbertel.com"> Tomoko </a>. Bertel Schmitt is a founding board member of the <a href="http://www.offshoresuperseries.com"> Offshore Super Series </a>, an American offshore powerboat racing organization. He is co-owner of the racing team Typhoon.

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  • Panzerfaust Panzerfaust on Nov 04, 2010

    “Imagine an Orwellian future where faceless international corporations track your every move. Drop by the bar after work, call in sick to go to the beach, visit your mistress’ house.” This guy has heard of the internet, and cell phones hasn’t he? This sort of tracking has been going on for a decade or more. And speaking of cell phones, if you want a system that will; “ locate nearby charging stations, know how far they can drive before draining the battery, monitor traffic to take less crowded routes, assess their driving habits to improve mileage and compare their mileage with that of other electric car drivers.” Nissan ought to just give Apple a call and ask them to turn this into an ap for the iPhone, it’ll be done in a week and be easier and cheaper than anything Nissan will inflict upon us. Actually, we're closer to Huxley's "Brave New World" than we are to Orwell.

  • PeregrineFalcon PeregrineFalcon on Nov 05, 2010

    Absolutely loving the delicious angry political tears. Perfect timing what with the mid-terms having just passed. Please continue with the "tasteless" images - they seem to be a great way to weed out anyone who can't take a joke.

  • Kwik_Shift Hyunkia'sis doing what they do best...subverting expectations of quality.
  • MaintenanceCosts People who don't use the parking brake when they walk away from the car deserve to have the car roll into a river.
  • 3-On-The-Tree I’m sure they are good vehicles but you can’t base that on who is buying them. Land Rovers, Bentley’ are bought by Robin Leaches’s “The Rich and Famous” but they have terrible reliability.
  • SCE to AUX The fix sounds like a bandaid. Kia's not going to address the defective shaft assemblies because it's hard and expensive - not cool.
  • Analoggrotto I am sick and tired of every little Hyundai Kia Genesis flaw being blown out of proportion. Why doesn't TTAC talk about the Tundra iForce Max problems, Toyota V35A engine problems or the Lexus 500H Hybrid problems? Here's why: education. Most of America is illiterate, as are the people who bash Hyundai Kia Genesis. Surveys conducted by credible sources have observed a high concentration of Hyundai Kia Genesis models at elite ivy league universities, you know those places where students earn degrees which earn more than $100K per year? Get with the program TTAC.
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