TTAC Commentator Horseflesh writes:
My query for Piston Slap is simple: What is the best way for an ordinary Joe to sell a car? And by “best” I mean, “returning the greatest amount of the car’s value for the least hassle.” You see, I am about to come into possession of my grandmother’s 2005 Buick Park Avenue–low miles, great shape, only driven on Sundays, etc. While the boat will be fun to pilot for a few weeks, I won’t be abandoning my beloved 2000 Impreza 2.5 RS for it. Sooner or later, the Buick will have to go. I am afraid that if it gets too close to my Scooby they will annihilate each other in a burst of exotic particles.
It’s not for everyone, but earning the highest purchase price for your Buick is the domain of Craigslist. Trade-ins aren’t gonna work, CarMax isn’t your friend. And what other popular classified publication on the Internet is…wait for it…absolutely free?
And a traditional GM front-wheel drive V6 sedan (Detroit state of the art in 1984) is the right car for many buyers. You can’t go wrong with a proven (if crude) powertrain that lives forever with proper upkeep, plus a decent amount of style from that somewhat-classic body and afterthought portholes. Yes, the interior is a far cry from yesteryear’s Buicks, but it still has a cool name. More to the point: it’s desirable to certain car nuts.
Late model low-riders: especially the neoclassic renaissance known as the Swanga. Some are customized in the sedate (sedate?) manner of a pre-war Packard, others go louder/prouder like a Talbot-Lago. No matter, the insane wire wheels, retro grilles and chrome accents are pure Americana, with a Houston Twist. And my goodness, Buicks seem to rule the roost.
I’m not a lover, and I’m not a hater. Quite frankly, a Swanga Buick is far more appealing than the bean counted stocker from whence it came. There’s something about going Neoclassic on a late model Buick (or a Chevy Monte Carlo) that just…works. You can’t pull this shit off in a Camry, son.
Your neighbor’s 16-year-old might bite, but don’t be surprised if you get more hits from the Swanga crowd. So ask about $10,000 for your Buick on craigslist. Post lots of pictures, host them remotely, list the vehicle’s good and bads as you see them. If it has a moonroof, clean interior and plenty of service records, I wouldn’t lower the price for months. Because areas that unconditionally love GM Sedans will find your car on craigslist.
Bonus! A Piston Slap Nugget of Wisdom:
And you thought Buicks were only popular in China? That’s what makes America so awesome, we like everything. And even if we don’t all appreciate the same thing, believe this: no matter your socioeconomic background, our collective appreciation of that Federal Green brings us together. It helps us buy or sell damn near anything for good money.
Send your queries to firstname.lastname@example.org. Spare no details and ask for a speedy resolution if you’re in a hurry.