The Booth Babe Chronicles: Paging Tawny Kittaen

I really love talking about cars with people. Notice that does not say “being talked at by people about cars.” That exact circumstance, however, happens on a daily basis at my job. It’s enough to make me wish I never had to say a word to anyone and instead take up Tawny Kittaen’s post on the hood of a Jaguar.

One of the biggest pet peeves of any sort of expert is having some twit run his mouth about a subject on which he obviously has little knowledge. “Knows just enough to be annoying,” we call it at the auto show. Complaining for a solid half hour about the differences between this supercar over here and that supercar over there falls into that category.

Why? Because nine times out of ten the person doing the complaining has never driven the vehicle they’re moaning on about.

Lest you think I’m judging books by covers, I know this because I ask.

When a guest at a marketing event starts making disparaging remarks about any car, the first thing out of my mouth is, “Have you ever driven it?” If the answer is yes, then game on. Let’s have an intelligent conversation about your critiques. If the answer is no, then this guy has little to no idea what he’s talking about.

A couple of weeks ago Derek Kreindler remarked on his blog, “…doesn’t it begin to sound a little ridiculous when people try and throw out technical arguments to debate the merits of cars way beyond their station? So what if the C63 has an automatic, or if the RS4 is ‘inferior.’ I’m willing to bet that nobody in that thread can exploit any of those cars to even close to their full potential.” (He was referring to a conversation in a discussion group; hit up his blog to see the details.)

Welcome to my world, Derek.

Here’s my side of a sample conversation I have about five times a day at the auto show: I’m sorry you don’t like paddle shifters, mister. Have you ever used them before? No? Hmmm. Do you care to know why we put them in there instead of a stick? No, you just want to keep complaining? Okay. So it means nothing to you that Ferrari, Lamborghini, F1, et al use paddle shifters and not a slow and clunky stick? And you would never actually be buying this car regardless of the transmission type anyway, correct?

Translate that conversation into safety at the Smart or Toyota displays, fuel mileage of a performance hybrid at Porsche, Mercedes or Lexus, etc. We product specialists can talk specs until we’re blue in the face, but people like this don’t want to hear them. They will go around to each and every display with the same song and dance, except for the manufacturer on whose truck they’ve placed their Calvin-pissing-on-a-different-truck sticker.

If you have ever actually researched and experienced these vehicles, let’s debate! If you have questions about the features you’re criticizing and actually want to hear the answer, let’s chat! That’s my job! If you just want to run your mouth about something about which you know nothing and don’t care to learn, take it to your mom’s house. She’s the only one who cares.

The Booth Babe is an anonymous auto show model who dishes about what really goes on behind the scenes. Read her blog at http://doyoucomewiththecar.blogspot.com. And if you treat her nicely, read her each Sunday at Thetruthaboutcars.com