We had a laugh at the Nissan Juke teaser images Nissan trotted out about a month ago, but apparently the Juke isn’t over. For some reason, Nissan has decided to announce that the Versa-based crossover is approved for the American market before the production model is even unveiled at the forthcoming Geneva Auto Show. Nissan accompanies the announcement with a gallery of shots that are labeled “Nissan Juke” but carry the caveat “model shown is European show car.” It’s clearly more production-y than the Qazana concept, which Nissan cites as the inspiration for the Juke, but could Nissan really be building a production model that’s this unforgivably ugly? At least we now know what the offspring of a Pontiac Aztek, a Fiat Multipla and a Nissan Versa would look like… though I’m still not sure why we needed to.
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This looks absolutely terrible.
But I’m waiting for someone to show up and say “this looks really great, it’s so “daring”, I love it and it looks 100x better than that ugly (insert attractive/unoffensive car model here).
It won’t be me.
I second the “absolutely terrible” vote.
This car is no uglier than BMW 5 GT or Mercedes R-class, the difference it is a Nissan, not made in Germany.
Yes it is – uglier than both the 5 GT and R class combined. It looks like a bad Salvador Dali acid trip where two cars are melted into one.
It certainly is ugly, but I dont think it’s worse than the murano
Ever feel like you’ve been suddenly rescued from an eternity of torture and shame? I have.
Love,
The guy who designed the Aztek.
It took me a moment to realize that the object in that picture was actually a vehicle.
I’d rather shave with my snowblower auger than see this on my driveway.
To me, this is as ugly as the Aztek. Especially this picture. Ugh…
I think I hear it faintly pleading, “Kill me”.
I did not realize that there was a competition among the Japanese automakers as to who could make the ugliest vehicles in the world. In the lead, until this thing makes it to the showrooms, is the Toyota FJ Cruiser, with various Honda/Acuras in close pursuit. But this Joke (sic) is going for the gold.
I donno, the Acura TL is certainly a strong contender as well…as was the pre-refreshed Subaru Tribeca.
Wasn’t this one of the ‘bugs’ in “Starship Troopers?”
If so, an industrial-strength can of Raid may be in order….
In all honesty, the picture above is taken from the worst possible angle.
I appreciate any car manufacturer that’s willing to follow through on their concept vehicles.
That’s about as far as I’m willing to defend this… thing.
What the hell is wrong with me? I like it. A lot.
Nissan’s waiting for you here: http://nissan.com/juke/
For some reason, the Suzuki X-90 came to mind.
Sorry Richard, wrong link.
http://www.nissanusa.com/juke/
Now we know where Bangle ended up. Whatever they’re paying him, it’s too much.
What is wrong with this stupid thing? I’m getting a headache just staring at the front of it, as my eyes can’t figure out where to look – do I stare just below the hood, at the grille, at the fog lights that are in the wrong place?
As someone mentioned above, the current Murano is very similar – in both cases I think the best word to describe it is “wrong”. Other cars may be ugly, but at least they look like cars. This, on the other hand, is the equivalent of a person’s face where the nose is above their eyes and their mouth curls up to their eyebrows.
Behold! Juke as Man!
http://www.perisoft.org/juke.jpg
…I’m going to have nightmares.
“Juke as Man” – ARRRGH! Damn!
“Juke as man” – most excellent.
This must have the same designer as the Nissan Carp–err–Leaf, I meant to say.
Anyone remember ‘Indiana Jones and the Raiders of the Lost Ark’ when the Nazi guy’s face melts off? It looks like that.
And in my terribly biased opinion, this must have been designed by the French (ie Renault). Only they could come up with a car this ugly. If it’s a bona fide Japanese design… then I’ll eat my hat.
Actually, it was “Raiders of the Lost Ark,” but I can see the resemblance!
You are absolutely correct sir. Changed!
you can use a picture of this car to delay ejaculation
thank you nissan
three little letters…W..T..F..??
Let’s apply the “baby name test” to “Juke”:
auke, buke, cuke, duke, euke, fuke, guke, huke, iuke, kuke, luke, muke, nuke, ouke, puke, ahh that’s it. Marketing fail.
I think I remember the episode of the Simpsons when Homer designed this car.
I can’t say that the Juke’s styling appears to me in the least, but neither does that of the Nissan Cube or Kia Soul, and those seem to be popular precisely b/c they’ve got rebellious (not plain vanilla) unique styling. The Juke looks like one of those quirky JDM style cars that many criticize Scion for not bringing to the US market. Assuming it had the features, comfort, and price I wanted, If I was looking for something unique and youthful, the jukebox might just push the right buttons for me.
All this needs to be acceptable is for Nissan to:
1) Pick ONE headlight style – either the currently popular elongated one OR the retro round one. NOT BOTH!
2) Move that chosen headlight to the proper place – the current locations are too high and too low, respectively.
3) Rearrange the grille to suit.
Voila! That should stop the vomiting. The rest of the car is not that bad. (Although I reserve the right to retract that if other angles become available.)
The headlight treatment is rather odd. I reminds me of one of those Caterpillars with the fake eyes.
http://lh6.ggpht.com/_9F9_RUESS2E/Snv8PFyKDcI/AAAAAAAAAbs/4SYyz6m07vo/s800/20-Incredible-Eye-Macros-caterpillar.jpg
Here here-
That is the sad truth, had they not hemmed and hawwed on the eyes, this would be an acceptable, if not attractive small car (granted I’ve only seen this from the angled view at the top of the post, so who knows, maybe there are 4 truck-nuts hanging off the back or some other abomination.)
I would say that this is uglier than sin, but it would be highly insulting to sin…
I think someone in Renault/Nissan HQ is feeling like their genius isn’t being appreciated, because you can just tell this came from the same school of design as the Renault Vel Satis.
Nissan tries way too hard to make their cars look so “now” and design forward. They end up looking painfully dated after 2-3 years.
This thing is so ugly – Charlie Sheen would PAY a car thief to steal it.
The car thief, in turn, would reject the offer so as not to violate the car thief Code of Ethics..
Crash test dummies would rather RESIGN than ride in this car….
Before I even clicked in and read the article I thought, “Pontiac Aztek.”
Horrible. And I’ve owned five Nissans, and currently do.
Hope this strain of ugly doesn’t infect its siblings.
so this is where Nissan has taken Vel Satis
it makes Chris Bangle look like the master
I showed my friends at school a Fiat Panda, which they immediately said was a “flamer loser girl’s” car. Then I showed them this, and they said, “What’s wrong with it? It looks totally badass.”
What the hell, people at my school.
Maybe this design is more about psychology than asthetics. It could be aimed at people who’ve been driving an Avalon or an Azera for too long; are tired of being invisible and need to over compensate.
That car is so ugly, my Mom says its cute.
My overriding criterion in judging looks is integrity of design: Do all the elements fit together into a coherent aesthetic? The original Nissan Xterra was a polarizing vehicle that had a lot of design integrity. Same with the first Scion xB.
In my book, the Kia Soul has integrity. The Nissan Cube is fairly coherent (not as much so as the earlier generations, but not bad). This one fails utterly. It’s from the same haphazard school of design as the notorious Datsuns of the 1970s–especially the astoundingly ugly F-10.
The Juke’s two front light shapes fight each other. The roofline fights the fenders. The front end fights the back. Perhaps some kids will initially be fooled into thinking that weird = edgy, but I can’t imagine that reaction will last.
This thing is so ugly it puts the “hide” in hideous.
Somewhere I saw the Fiat Multipla compared to an irradiated tadpole – which seems quite fitting here, too.
Nissan Juke… hmmm… If the “J” and the “P” keys were closer together, I’d say it was just a type.
Or maybe the ‘u’ and the ‘o’.
The classic “BEM” (Bug-Eyed Monster); calling Roger Corman!
This seems to be a logical child of Nissan Murano and Infinity FX35/FX45. Somebody at Nissan should abstain from alcohol. Maybe that’s what’s causing the blizzards.
Nissan displayed styling leadership for a while, but now their cars tend to look too “French” — and not in a classic Citroen way (re: good).
I’m perverse enough to have liked the Fiat Multipla, but this is one dose of bad acid too many for my taste. This thing has a decidedly lumpen and melted appearance like a kid did something in modeling clay and left it in the sun.
Wow, this one is just too ugly for words! None of the various design devices are compelling, and they all compete with each other instead of working together. I do not know how this one ever was allowed to see prototype stage. This one almost makes the Crosstour look – well no.
More pictures of this… thing are available here:
http://www.netcarshow.com/nissan/2011-juke/
It doesn’t look good from any angle. The interior doesn’t seem as bad.
There is a typo in the name. It’s not the Juke, it IS the Puke.