The MetaCars Week In Review

Detroit in January. Car fans may think of the North American International Auto Show, but there are thousands of tourists in town to attend festivities for GM’s annual announcement that it will be importing the Holden Commodore sport sedan from Australia.

Similar to the Burning Man Festival in Black Rock City, Nevada, the Commodore importation event has grown dramatically over the past several years. It draws huge crowds of idealists and enthusiasts for days of partying and fun, culminating with GM’s announcement that it is again looking at importing the Holden Commodore into the United States for sale under one of its American brands.

General Motors supports the event, and even contributes. “We try to come up with a good theme for every year,” said GM spokesman Hal Steiner. “Instead of just saying that the Commodore is coming, we will say that the Sport Wagon version is on its way. Or that every model will offer a six-speed manual transmission. Or that we’re looking at Buick to bring in long-wheelbase luxury versions like the Buick Park Avenue in China.”

This year, General Motors is planning to announce that the Commodore will come to the United States as a premium Chevrolet sedan, and also as an El Camino-style pickup.

“The nice thing, Steiner told MetaCars, “is that people can have until June or July to think it’s true. We’ll go back on our statements then, but by that point it’s only another six months until the next year’s Commodore Import Festival!”

Congressional Budget Office Estimates It Can Get that Project Car Done for “Just a Few Grand”

A new report from the Congressional Budget Office estimates that the government shouldn’t have too much of a problem getting that project car done over the winter for just a few thousands dollars, despite having no real experience restoring cars.

The project car in question, a white 1973 two-door Chevy Nova parked at a gas station in town, “couldn’t possibly need that much work” and according to the CBO “would be fun to take down to the beach come the summer.”

Some were surprised that the CBO report downplayed the threat posed by the rust on the lower part of the doors and on the trunk, as well as the cracks in the dashboard. “It’s just a little surface rust,” the report said optimistically “We’re confident that the rest of the car doesn’t suffer from systemic and malignant rust on major structural components. Although we haven’t exactly checked it out for sure yet.”

Concluding the report, the CBO’s chief analyst Miles Brooks said “Look, we can do a quick respray at Maaco or whatever, those are pretty cheap. We suspect we can find any necessary replacement parts on eBay. After all, it’s a Chevy from the early 70s. There are probably loads of them out in junkyards and stuff.”

Exciting, Daring New Jalopnik.com Asks “Do Your Car Keys Weigh Too Much?”

The popular enthusiast website, Jalopnik.com, has published yet another exciting new article since the site’s enthusiast-oriented revamp, this one entitled “ Do Your Car Keys Weight Too Much?”

Fans had criticized Jalopnik for becoming to focused on press releases, boring cars and banal news, prompting Editor-in-Chief Ray Wert III to pen “ The Awesomeness Manifesto,” a mission statement that promised “When it comes to news reporting, we need to be breaking stories by shining a light on the dark underbelly of the automotive world.”

Luckily, this new story asking whether “Your Car Keys Weight Too Much” is exactly what Wert had been promising and what the site’s fans were hoping for. It says, in part, “to prevent long-term wear on our ignitions, we separate our car keys from our general key chains, leaving just the car key and key fob to place as little load as possible on the ignition.”

There should be – nay, there need to be – more websites willing to be so bold.

Authorities No Closer to Identifying Buyers of Toyota Camry SE Models

Authorities are no closer to identifying the buyers of Toyota Camry SE “sporty” models, sources inside the government told MetaCars last night.

The “sporty performance” SE trim level for the Camry is available with either of the engine options, starting with $24,400 for a 2.5 liter 4-cylinder engine with 179 horsepower and a smooth-shifting automatic transmission and features 17-inch sporty alloy wheels.

Unfortunately, the buyers of these Camry models have eluded authorities for several months now. “What I want to know is, who pays $24,400 for a sporty Toyota Camry with a 4-cylinder engine and an automatic transmission?” said Federal Agent Carol Ramirez, who commented on the condition of anonymity.

Catch the most accurate (if not technically true) coverage of the world of internet car news at MetaCars.com.