Hammer Time: Mickey Mouse

Steven Lang
by Steven Lang

Back in 2007, I made my 37th pilgrimage to mouse country. My wife and kids were hardcore Disneyites. Me? I was just there for the company. I deal with enough Goofys in real life and the thought of waiting in line to meet yet another one chafed at me. So I told my wife that I would spend the next day visiting my own wonderland. An auto auction. There was a low mileage Geo Metro I was interested in along with about a half dozen other older vehicles.

It would turn out to be an amazing day. First of all, I saw about a half dozen wholesalers from the Atlanta area at this Orlando auction. They were the ‘big money’ dealers who were often given breaks with transport costs and sale fees due to their purchasing power. The cuts were so deep and subsidies so strong that combined with the excessive inventory in Florida, a visit was always worth their while. I was a well liked fellow among company, and so when it came time to bid on a 2000 Olds Silhouette with 109k and leather I got it for cheap. $1395 to be exact if you include the auction fee. It was half the price of what the sun faded 72k mile Metro sold for.

I took four pictures of the vehicle (left front quarter angle, driver’s entrance, captain’s chairs, and driver’s view) and put an ad up on Craigslist for $2000. The Autocheck history was accompanied by a long list of luxury features. A note for the choir here. Folks just love to have their luxury even if they have a beer budget. Within 15 minutes I got my first call, and the calls kept coming throughout the day while I was waiting in the interminable lines of Adventureland.

The next morning I scratched off the yellow chalk from the windshield and proceeded it to drive it a few hundred feet to a nearby sandwich shop. The first couple sniffed their nose at it and tried to nickel me. I was courteous but within a moment of their saying, “We’ll think about it.” extended family number one came by with the three generations in one old Taurus. They looked at the vehicle for a few moments while the other couple started to come in at me for more hard dealing. I explained to them that these folks had come a long ways away and I was obligated to give them their chance.

The extended family bought it on site without so much as a test drive and I was glad about it. First, I got a chance to use my Spanish which doesn’t happen quite so often in my hometown of Powder Springs, Georgia. Second I knew it was going to a family that would value and keep it. I offered the first couple the phone number of a friend of mine who had purchased a base model Venture with cloth. I was calm, well-spoken, and a bit intense with my thought process. That’s usually enough to eventually get away from most difficult people. A couple of muscular Latinos in the construction industry also apparently helps. I got cash. The familia got their new ride. All was well with the world.

Profit $605. Cost of vacation? I think right around that much. We got one of those free hotel studios with a kitchen from a timeshare group. After a free breakfast, a two hour presentation, and our obligatory ‘No.’, we got four free disney tickets. Throw in a knapsack full of food and a few visits to relatives, and it ended up being a nice break from 70+ hours I was working at the time. Every now and then I had thought about traveling across the country, buying up cars on Craigslist and selling them for peanuts. But I would also have to give up a profit at home and I had seen too many rainy days to sacrifice a bull economy. It was tough to say ‘no’ to the possibility of an adventure. But given today’s economy I’m glad I did it.

Steven Lang
Steven Lang

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  • PrincipalDan PrincipalDan on Jan 17, 2010

    Nice work if you can get it, lol. But seriously Lang, you constantly remind me of the advice my dad always gave me growing up, "Find something you love and find a way to make a living at it." BTW he sells John Deere tractors, and a more knowledgeable salesman cannot be found within a least several counties of him. (Must be why he's the #1 salesman in a franchise with several stores.)

  • Andy D Andy D on Jan 17, 2010

    Heh Heh , Marina and I did it right. We did Disney when we were kidless kids just starting out.

  • Theflyersfan The wheel and tire combo is tragic and the "M Stripe" has to go, but overall, this one is a keeper. Provided the mileage isn't 300,000 and the service records don't read like a horror novel, this could be one of the last (almost) unmodified E34s out there that isn't rotting in a barn. I can see this ad being taken down quickly due to someone taking the chance. Recently had some good finds here. Which means Monday, we'll see a 1999 Honda Civic with falling off body mods from Pep Boys, a rusted fart can, Honda Rot with bad paint, 400,000 miles, and a biohazard interior, all for the unrealistic price of $10,000.
  • Theflyersfan Expect a press report about an expansion of VW's Mexican plant any day now. I'm all for worker's rights to get the best (and fair) wages and benefits possible, but didn't VW, and for that matter many of the Asian and European carmaker plants in the south, already have as good of, if not better wages already? This can drive a wedge in those plants and this might be a case of be careful what you wish for.
  • Jkross22 When I think about products that I buy that are of the highest quality or are of great value, I have no idea if they are made as a whole or in parts by unionized employees. As a customer, that's really all I care about. When I think about services I receive from unionized and non-unionized employees, it varies from C- to F levels of service. Will unionizing make the cars better or worse?
  • Namesakeone I think it's the age old conundrum: Every company (or industry) wants every other one to pay its workers well; well-paid workers make great customers. But nobody wants to pay their own workers well; that would eat into profits. So instead of what Henry Ford (the first) did over a century ago, we will have a lot of companies copying Nike in the 1980s: third-world employees (with a few highly-paid celebrity athlete endorsers) selling overpriced products to upper-middle-class Americans (with a few urban street youths willing to literally kill for that product), until there are no more upper-middle-class Americans left.
  • ToolGuy I was challenged by Tim's incisive opinion, but thankfully Jeff's multiple vanilla truisms have set me straight. Or something. 😉
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