Curbside Classic: The Ultimate Chick Magnet – Citroen 2CV Hoffman Cabriolet

Paul Niedermeyer
by Paul Niedermeyer

[Tongue partially planted in cheek]

What is the source of American men’s latent and easily provoked disdain for the French (and their cars)? Umm, it doesn’t exactly take a study to prove what what we secretly suspect and obviously are a wee bit uncomfortable with: they’re having more sex than us. Yet they drive small, weird underpowered weenie-mobiles. Well, guys, it seems to be working for them.

It may be fun to wax eloquently over a ’74 Imperia l late at night well into a magnum of Shiraz-Cab, but I’ve got news for you: this Citroen 2CV Cabrio is going to get you a lot more action than the Le Baron. Just getting off a couple of shots of this PM Hoffman Cabrio on the streets of Portland without ogling girls in the way was a challenge for Edward, who took these shots. Guys, it’s time to stop living in the past, driving the old barge around with memories of what went on in that giant back seat decades ago. You have a house with a bed now, right? Put the old yank tank or Camaro up on blocks, and get on with it before it’s too late. Because this Citroen is the ultimate chick magnet.

Don’t believe me? Try driving a Hummer down a Parisian street and see what kind of response you get. Women want a guy who’s secure about his manhood, and what better way is there to display that than with a 600 cc, 26 hp 2CV? Especially so when it’s this sporty little two passenger conversion made by Hoffman. And there won’t be any lingering doubts about the back seat being used by kiddies. Hoffman also offers conversions to turn the little two-banger into a pickup or even a stretch limo, but that seems to be defeating the whole purpose of the exercise. Going the other direction makes more sense: eliminate the body altogether and one of the rear wheels and turn it into a cool little Morganesque three-wheeler. I’ll take one of those in a heartbeat.

The problem with American men is that they tend to equate a sexy car with the real thing. I know there are some men that actually have broken through that barrier, and for them it really is the real thing, but I’m not speaking to that audience here. Anyway, the 2CV’s tailpipe may be too small even for the stereotypical Hummer driver. I’m talking about the more conventional relationship, the one in which the word “cargasmic” tends to be overused. Ok, nothing wrong with that, as long as it doesn’t actually get in the way of the real thing. Which it might, depending on your target demographic and IQ range. I’ve actually heard guys swear that there’s nothing better than an EV, even a Zap Xebra, to break the ice in the right locations. Not painted yellow, either.

If you’ve ever watched The Misfits, you’ll know that Marlyn’s last role personified the sensitive, environmentally-aware feminine future, and Gable as the dying bronco/environment busting cowboy myth. Guys, you wanna be lonely cowboys in your pickup, and maybe find a little cuddle up on Brokeback Mountain, or are you going to bravely plunge into the future in your EV Conversion Hoffman Cabrio? The girls want to know, before they get tired of waiting and find something better to do.

More new Curbside Classics here

Paul Niedermeyer
Paul Niedermeyer

More by Paul Niedermeyer

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  • Nick Nick on Jan 24, 2010

    "But my experience is that the way the man comports himself comes first and foremost" Martin...where do you LIVE? I am not trying to flame anyone, I swear, but you are either extraordinarily lucky or live in a corner of the world that I've previously never heard of.

  • Aamj50 Aamj50 on Jan 25, 2010

    I was at the MotoGP (F1 for motorcycles) race in Indy this year and parked near a very cool Triumph Street Triple R like this http://pictures.topspeed.com/IMG/crop/200903/triumph-street-tripl-22_460x0w.jpg As I was admiring the the bike a very pretty woman dressed in riding gear walked up to it. Being the chauvinist jerk that I am I figured she was waiting for her boyfriend. Nope. On went the helmet and she was gone. Were I not happily married I probably would have skipped watching qualifying and creepily followed her. Anyway. What was the subject?

  • TheMrFreeze That new Ferrari looks nice but other than that, nothing.And VW having to put an air-cooled Beetle in its display to try and make the ID.Buzz look cool makes this classic VW owner sad 😢
  • Wolfwagen Is it me or have auto shows just turned to meh? To me, there isn't much excitement anymore. it's like we have hit a second malaise era. Every new vehicle is some cookie-cutter CUV. No cutting-edge designs. No talk of any great powertrains, or technological achievements. It's sort of expected with the push to EVs but there is no news on that front either. No new battery tech, no new charging tech. Nothing.
  • CanadaCraig You can just imagine how quickly the tires are going to wear out on a 5,800 lbs AWD 2024 Dodge Charger.
  • Luke42 I tried FSD for a month in December 2022 on my Model Y and wasn’t impressed.The building-blocks were amazing but sum of the all of those amazing parts was about as useful as Honda Sensing in terms of reducing the driver’s workload.I have a list of fixes I need to see in Autopilot before I blow another $200 renting FSD. But I will try it for free for a month.I would love it if FSD v12 lived up to the hype and my mind were changed. But I have no reason to believe I might be wrong at this point, based on the reviews I’ve read so far. [shrug]. I’m sure I’ll have more to say about it once I get to test it.
  • FormerFF We bought three new and one used car last year, so we won't be visiting any showrooms this year unless a meteor hits one of them. Sorry to hear that Mini has terminated the manual transmission, a Mini could be a fun car to drive with a stick.It appears that 2025 is going to see a significant decrease in the number of models that can be had with a stick. The used car we bought is a Mk 7 GTI with a six speed manual, and my younger daughter and I are enjoying it quite a lot. We'll be hanging on to it for many years.
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