The price of any exclusive story is a straight face. Having scored some seat-time (and flack-time) with GM’s Corvette Stingray Concept, Jalopnik was obliged to report the experience sans critical filter. Which means we learn that the Stingray “represents a merger of GM design and technology from the past, present and future,” as well as “the merger of high technology with high design in the powertrain, exterior and interior.” Of course, in order to keep that all-important straight face, nearly everything about the concept has to be described using either the term “represents” or “theoretical.”
Despite costing several million dollars to build, the Stingray is a 15 mph dummy. Its hybrid V8 with infinitely tweakable eco- and sport-modes is “theoretical.” As is its ability to tweet, “keep an eye on friends,” and calculate the fastest way around any given race track. And despite the future-tense veneer, the Stingray doesn’t even preview the look or drivetrain of the C7 Corvette.
Pointless concepts are fundamental to the DNA of old GM, and luckily this one was first sketched six years ago. Technically, this is not your tax dollars at work. But still, why is GM hyping a vehicle which will never get any closer to the street than Transformers 2? “Conceptual technology” may turn refrigerator boxes into spaceships for three-year olds, but it doesn’t have any bearing on consumers of automobiles. And if you’ve got a few million dollars extra, why not put it into the actual development of an actual next-generation Corvette? Unless of course the point was to remind everyone that nothing at General Motors ever changes.