GM CEO Fritz Henderson: Congress Has Secret Dealer Cull List

When GM CEO Fritz Henderson logged-in for a live media-only chat on GM’s FastLane blog, the headline takeaway was “I am not a fan of rebadging.” Ha! Since returning to the scene of the crime, I’ve discovered that there’s plenty of other grist for a zombie watcher’s mill—such as the fact that Henderson appeared eleven minutes late. The first words off his keyboard: “I am here.” I would have gone for “Je pense, donc je suis,” only I don’t think GM’s main man knows the difference between badonk and donc. Henderson starts with a defense of the Hail Mary-ette Chevrolet Cruze that sounds a lot like a PR spiel from 1976 (Chevy Vega). It goes downhill from there.

Despite direct questions, Mr. Transparency fails to specify how much money GM’s lost on Saab, or if the brand’s buyers will give GM cash money. And then Automotive News’ Jamie Lareau goes for the jugular: “There’s been talk of executive changes needing to take place at GM in order for a cultural change/true viability to happen. Do you anticipate making dramatic leadership changes in the near future and if so, how many might we see leave GM?”

jamie, nice to hear from you. we will be making changes in both our structure and processes to run the business, which includes for example reducing exec manpower by 34% from year end 2008 to 2009. yes there will be significant change. . . [there will be] no real changes [to our aloha tour schedule] and still plan a reduction of close to 35% in execs and 20% in salaried manpower, to be completed prior to the end of 2009.

Who told Fritz it’s OK to leave three spaces between sentences and treat the shift key like it’s covered in ricin? And his answer is soooo Henderson. Thirty-four percent? Thirty-five? But definitely not 32. Or 36. And make no mistake about this: Henderson has publicly stated that there will be no “you’re an incompetent ass-kisser” executive cull. He expects to achieve this reduction through “attrition.”

Follow-up question: how much of this “attrition” will come in the form of buyouts? Hello?

OK, so, the money shot. It’s no wonder Senator Rockefeller’s office has refused to answer our calls re: Henderson’s promise to provide him with the list of closed GM dealers. ’Cause Henderson’s already forked it over.

in general, our dealers have requested that we not publish a list. we have shared information with the congress as requested, but have done so in a way that respects the confidentiality of our dealers.

See what $100 billion in taxpayer’s subsidy buys you? Secret deals between GM and your congress folk. I’ll call Senator Rockefeller’s office again today. Meanwhile, if you could email your elected representative upon our behalf, I’d be most appreciative.